54 years of marriage and the romantic vibe is still swinging

Yahoo

23-02-2025

Love Stories: During February, which is Black History Month and a month for romance, discover the journeys these Black couples are on as they create a loving legacy while partnering despite racial challenges. Today, get to know Tom and Valada Flewellyn, the high school sweethearts who have found their groove while falling in love, raising a family and following their passion.
It's a beautiful balmy January winter day and a navy blue golf cart glides over the path at Dubsdread Golf Course in Orlando.
Birds chirp on the outside, but inside cart number 13, husband and wife Tom Flewellyn and Valada Flewellyn, both 73, are quietly serenaded by Marvin Gaye as he sings 'What's Going On.'
They tee off, chip, pitch, drive and putt along the course to the sound of Aretha Franklin, which makes the heart soar and body sway as she sings 'Rock Steady.'
The Flewellyns bring a different vibe to the course in College Park's predominantly upper-middle-class, white neighborhood. The R&B singers weave stories from the '60s, '70s and '80s about Black Power, community pride, culture, strength, family and love.
Golf etiquette dictates 'respect the quiet zone' and Tom, the former Wall Street CPA, is a natural rule follower, so they keep the music low. The Flewellyns chat between holes and the Temptations' version of 'I Wish It Would Rain' plays softly from the iPhone speaker.
He's an introvert.
She's an extrovert.
His swing is athletic sans the flexibility of youth.
She has bright pink, easy-to-find golf balls.
More than 50 years ago, Tom and Valada met at a house party. Valada was in charge of the punch. Tom ventured into the kitchen several times to get said punch but it was not ready. Valada brought him a cup when it was finished and he asked her to dance to 'Stay in My Corner' by the Dells.
As the two danced, someone relayed a message that Valada's parents were outside. Feeling her anxiety level rise, Valada asked Tom to join her hoping to mitigate the trouble she was in for breaking her curfew. Her father told Tom if he was going to date his daughter he had to follow the rules and have her home before midnight.
Tom took the chastisement from her father even though the two were not on a date.
'Tom was very much a gentleman, you know, so he sort of kept them calm,' Valada remembers.
Couple's positive affirmations build a foundation of love for 4 young sons
'She also was a Christian and had a good heart,' Tom explains. 'One of the things I liked about her was she had a good personality and you'd have to be a strange person to not like Valada.'
What started with a delayed cup of punch that led to their first dance has been bubbling ever since.
Early on Tom noticed that Valada was very studious and always had a book. 'If I could get her, I'd have a girl with the looks and all the brains I don't have,' Tom said grinning broadly.
Valada went to The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, to study marketing and Tom attended Central State University, a public, historically Black university in Wilberforce, Ohio, to earn a degree in accounting and finance. The two worked hard in college and made the best of a long-distance relationship with the 60-plus miles between them.
Earlier in life, when Valada was 13 years old, she was frustrated at how little Black history was taught at her school and the lack of books by and about Blacks in the libraries. She took it upon herself to gather several pages of signatures, then met with the superintendent of schools and presented her signatures and her request to have more access to Black history in the schools and libraries. The Cleveland school district made no changes after her visit but the visit had changed her.
Not long after this exchange with the city, Valada met Icabod Flewellen, who was the 'Father of the African American Museum' the first of its kind with African American artifacts. Flewellen mentored Valada and she volunteered at the museum for the next three years.
On her wedding day when he appeared, Valada realized Icabod Flewellen was her new husband's uncle. He was now family, not just a mentor. Family lore is the nurse misspelled the last name when Icabod was born, assuming she knew better than his mom and the family never changed it.
After his college graduation, Tom interviewed with Price Waterhouse, one of the Big Eight accounting firms of the time. They offered him a job in the Cleveland office but his favorite professor in college told him 'if you want to be tops in finance you need to be near Wall Street.'
He was told there were no openings in the New York City office when he applied but a week later they offered him a job in the financial mecca.
The two went shopping for a proper suit for Tom's job on Wall Street.
'My father was a mechanic, I didn't grow up with men coming in the house dressed to go to Wall Street,' Valada said. 'The men that I saw were dressed to go to the club or church.'
They bought a suit with a houndstooth pattern with a buckle on it, a maroon short-sleeved shirt and a red tie. 'Babe, you looked good,' Valada said, remembering the outfit.
Couple sets sights on future with strong spiritual foundation
At the Price Waterhouse office, a colleague of Tom's explained that dark blue suits, long-sleeved white shirts and non-bold ties were the uniform of a financial professional on Wall Street. Tom purchased dark blue suits, long-sleeved white shirts and dark-colored ties for work from that day forward.
As the family grew over the next six years, Valada finished her degree in marketing at Marymount College in Tarrytown, which is now called Marymount College of Fordham University.
The two decided their home in Queens was a nice place but not the place to continue to grow their family. Tom took a new job at Xerox in Stamford, Connecticut.
Valada joined Jack & Jill in Connecticut for her children who would not see many, middle-class Black families in the white community they lived in. Jack & Jill is the oldest African American family organization dedicated to nurturing children ages 2-19 into future American leaders.
She was more a housewife than anything else while in Connecticut and started writing poetry and writing books about Jack & Jill and social justice topics.
In time, Tom was recruited by Philip Crosby Associates in Winter Park, but he didn't see himself as a Southerner. Tom brought the whole family to Florida for the recruiting trip with the company and while he was busy interviewing, Valada and the kids went house shopping and explored the area. He was offered the position, and he explained to his family he would not take the job if they did not like the area. The consensus was to take the job, move to Orlando and get a house with a pool. There had to be a pool at their new home.
In Orlando, Tom has worked at Philip Crosby Associates and as a director of Minority Business Relations at Walt Disney World. He retired three years ago.
While Valada raised Tom III, Toya and Tina, she continued writing poetry and books and telling stories about Black history in Sanford and across the United States.
'I love Black history,' Valada said.
'At 73 years old, I finally realized I'm a creative person. I want that to mean something and make the world a better place,' Valada said.
She's written poetry for Coretta Scott King and recited two of her poems at the inauguration of Dr. Ben Vinson III, the current president of Howard University.
'I've come full circle, what I was passionate about when I was 13, sharing Black history, is what I'm doing now,' Valada says now of her work.
Serendipity played a role in golf cart number 13 being driven around by the Flewellyn's, because Feb. 13, was also their 54th wedding anniversary.
Understanding the unique Flewellyn vibe on the golf course is more apparent as the day goes on. Their supportive and happy banter, shared smiles and twinkling eyes communicate respect, friendship and a deep romantic love.
If you see the Flewellyns cruising along the paths at Dubsdread Golf Course, listen carefully you might be able to hear their giggles, laughter and Marvin Gaye singing to you about 'What's Going On.'
Willie J. Allen Jr. can be reached at [e-mail].