I quit my dream job to be a stay-at-home dad, while my wife works full time. It's the best arrangement for us.

Business Insider

2 days ago

Last year, I quit my dream job to be a stay-at-home dad while my wife worked full time. It was the best decision for our family, and I've loved every minute of it.
My wife has always been the primary breadwinner of the family, so we decided I could step back from my career to work part time as a freelance writer and — most importantly — take care of our two little ones, a 3-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy.
It has been challenging in ways I couldn't have predicted, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
We spent years trying to build two careers and a family
I have been a healthcare journalist for nearly a decade, mostly working as a full-time editor or staff writer for various media companies. I have always loved this kind of work, and every new opportunity felt like a dream job. But everything started to change after my wife and I had our first kid at the end of 2019.
The COVID-19 pandemic turned me into a work-from-home dad with a 4-month-old boy. I was suddenly a full-time editor and a full-time caretaker.
In those days, my wife worked on the front lines of the pandemic as a physician assistant, while my son and I were trapped in a small two-bedroom apartment in New Rochelle, NY. It was the first time I had to suffer through the split focus of working and parenting full time.
Even after the pandemic began to subside, my wife continued to work more than 50 hours a week at the hospital. So, I eventually settled into my role as a stay-at-home, work-from-home dad, with the help of grandparents and a local day care.
But this was only the beginning of my work-life struggles.
Working and caring for my kids only got more stressful
By the end of 2022, a lot had changed for my family. We relocated to the Atlanta area. My wife took a new job at a local hospital that demanded slightly fewer hours. I landed an exciting new position as a medical reporter for a national publication, while our little girl was turning 1 year old.
It was a happy time for our family, but the pressure to be a successful reporter and an always-available father started to become too much for me. Even though my wife's new role offered better hours, she still didn't have the flexibility to leave work at a moment's notice. We always knew it would be my responsibility to take care of any sudden, unexpected issues for the family.
On sick days, I would balance trips to the pediatrician's office with phone interviews with sources. When holiday calendars between day care and work didn't match, I would serve snacks in between typing up paragraphs for my next article.
It was a difficult balancing act. My new job required much of my mental energy, and the kids always needed more attention than I could give during workdays. It became clear that our family needed to make a change.
It was time to put my family and my wife's career first
After two years of balancing work and family needs with mixed success, my wife and I decided it was time for me to quit my job to focus on our family. The change had an immediate impact on all our lives.
Now, I no longer have to split my attention between my kids and my work. When they get sick, I can drop everything to take them to the doctor, then bring them home to take care of them.
I also have plenty of time to focus on chores to keep the house clean, cook healthy meals, and spend time with my kids and my wife without worrying about falling behind at work. I never have to worry about misaligned holiday schedules or hiding in my office to finish work assignments.
It was nerve-racking to leave full-time employment after nine years, but after seven months of being a stay-at-home dad, I can't imagine doing it any other way.