The Unseen Crisis: Why Indian Dads Are Cracking Under Pressure — and Not Talking About It

Time of India

18 hours ago

Imagine this: you've just become a father. Everyone congratulates you. Your partner is recovering, your baby is sleeping (barely), and you're expected to be strong, supportive, grateful.
You smile and say you're fine. But inside, you're unravelling.
Over the past few years, I've had deeply personal conversations with new fathers—men who whisper into calls from parked cars or bathroom floors, their voices cracking under the weight of exhaustion, guilt, and emotional isolation.
They say things like: 'I love my child, but I'm not okay,' or 'I don't feel like myself anymore, and I don't know who to talk to.'
We don't talk about this enough.
Men, too, go through psychological shifts after childbirth. But in India, their distress is often invisible—dismissed by culture, overlooked by policy, and misunderstood by their closest circles.
In our society, once a man becomes a father, the expectations multiply. He must provide for the family, maintain work-life balance, perform at work, care for aging parents—and still remain emotionally composed. The cultural narrative of the 'strong Indian man' doesn't leave room for vulnerability.
And the data reflects this silent crisis.
Between 2020 and 2025, nearly 19,750 men contacted a mental health helpline—many in the early stages of fatherhood. While 2020 saw 3,693 calls, and 2022 over 3,000, 2024 marked a dramatic rise to 8,362 male callers, indicating a growing mental health need among men. Even in the first months of 2025, over 1,500 men had already reached out.
Across these years, the top reported concerns were strikingly consistent: relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and in earlier years, even low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts. The average duration of a call from a male was 7.15 minutes—shorter than female callers, which may reflect how difficult it is for men to open up, even in private.
Why Are Indian Fathers Left Behind?
The system is built for silence. If paternity leave exists at all, it's often just a few days. Hospitals and families focus rightly on the mother—but the father is left outside the emotional conversation. Men are applauded for 'bouncing back' when in reality, many are barely holding on.
Few know that men also undergo hormonal changes post-childbirth—shifts in cortisol, testosterone, and oxytocin—that can affect mood, empathy, and sleep. It's biological. And yet, no one talks about it.
So when fathers falter emotionally, they often internalize it. Some turn to screen time or alcohol. Others grow distant. A few lash out—not because they're bad partners or bad fathers, but because they're overwhelmed and untreated.
These aren't personal failings. They're symptoms of an unsupported transition.
What Needs to Change
Supporting fathers doesn't take away from mothers—it strengthens the entire family unit. Research globally and locally shows that emotionally engaged fathers contribute to better maternal recovery, stronger co-parenting, and healthier children.
Here's what we need to start doing:
Longer, meaningful paternity leave that allows for adjustment, not just logistics.Inclusive prenatal and postnatal care, where fathers are emotional participants, not just visitors.Routine mental health screenings for both parents, early and stigma-free.Cultural awareness that asking for support is not weakness.Safe spaces—whether helplines, peer groups, or community support—to let men speak freely. This article is written by Parveen Shaikh, President at Mpower, An initiative of Aditya Birla Education Trust(DISCLAIMER: The views expressed are solely of the author and ETHealthworld.com does not necessarily subscribe to it. ETHealthworld.com shall not be responsible for any damage caused to any person/organisation directly or indirectly)