I tried face acupuncture, just like Kim Kardashian, at the 'edgy' Standard Spa in Miami... and I was shocked by what it did to my appearance

Daily Mail​

18-05-2025

It might sound like torture—but having needles stuck into your cheeks, chin and forehead is an A-list secret to younger, glowing skin.
The practice, known as facial acupuncture, is touted as a 'natural Botox '—and, naturally, celebrities from Kim Kardashian to Gwyneth Paltrow are said to be fans.
The treatment involves inserting ultra-fine needles into the face which, advocates claim, stimulates collagen production, improves circulation and eases muscle tension.
This helps reduce fine lines, lifts sagging skin and give a brighter, more youthful complexion—or so the theory goes.
Some also believe it helps with jaw tension, puffiness and even hormonal acne.
And unlike cosmetic injectables, it doesn't freeze expressions or leave you with a tell-tale pillow face—instead, it taps into the body's own healing mechanisms to rejuvenate skin from within, naturally.
To be honest, at 45 years old, this all sounds appealing—and I've been a big believer in acupuncture since finding it effectively rid me of hay fever, during a particularly bad bout.
So when I was offered to try a session with Lori Bell, also known as 'The Good Witch'—at The Standard Spa, Miami— I had to say yes.
What's the problem... and where's the solution?
Someone once told me, at some point you're either going to look older. Or, if you have a load of cosmetic work done, weird.
Those are the two options. You're never going to be able to do anything, really, that will make you look significantly younger.
And looking older isn't a problem—I hope younger people see me and think, there's someone who's lived a bit and knows some things.
But that doesn't mean you have to stop trying to make the best of yourself—and, by all accounts, facial acupuncture can work a little magic.
With this is mind, I head to The Standard Spa, Miami Beach.
The hotel occupies a restored 1950s gem on Belle Isle, originally built as the Monterrey Motel by noted architect Norman Giller—a key figure in Miami's mid-century architectural movement.
It later became the Lido Spa Hotel, a revolutionary 1960s wellness retreat known for its strict regimes of diet, exercise and medical supervision.
Today, the building retains much of its original charm—think low-rise whitewashed bungalows, and palm-fringed tropical gardens—with a modern, bohemian twist.
The Standard is also known for its edgy branding and celebrity clientele, with its Miami outpost doubling as a nightlife hotspot for the city's young and glamorous.
One infamous ad featured a woman urinating on a plush rug; more recently, the hotel faced backlash for a cocaine-themed cocktail served in a bag with a rolled-up banknote.
What's the treatment?
I'm booked in to have 90 minutes of Acupuncture Facial Rejuvenation ($275 or roughly £207) which they bill as 'a natural, healthy facelift'.
The session begins with a lengthy chat about my lifestyle—covering all the usual points, what I eat and when, how much I sleep, what my stress levels are like, that sort of thing.
Lori practices a branch of traditional Chinese medicine known as Five Element acupuncture—a system based on the idea that our physical and emotional health is governed by the balance of five natural elements: wood, fire, earth, metal and water.
Each element corresponds to specific organs and emotions, and the treatment aims to restore harmony between them, treating the root cause of illness rather than just the symptoms.
Our conversation, she explains, will help guide her needles.
And then it's on to the treatment proper. To those who've never had acupuncture, it's undoubtedly daunting.
But the truth is you don't feel a thing. Over 15 minutes or so, Lori places around 40 needles in my face, hands, arms, legs and feet.
I don't really feel a thing although I'm vaguely aware of them when I adjust myself on the treatment table.
Lori is talking, explaining what the various points connect to and... I'm not sure what else because I drift off to sleep.
At the end of the session, I'm left to wander about the gorgeous tiled spa facility—steam rooms, showers and saunas and the like.
I meet friends for dinner and they all, without prompting, agree I look incredibly well rested for a middle-aged bloke with jetlag.
And I'd have to agree—in fact, I was pretty shocked at my lack of eyebags.
It also temporarily reduced my persistently ruddy rosacea-prone face.
As I've said, I'm a fan of acupuncture—if I have a sports injury, I'll have a few sessions for pain relief, which medical studies agree it can provide.
This year, the pollen is particularly vicious so I'll have a top-up session of hay fever treatment acupuncture, which will solve it.
There's no scientific proof it works, and I know people who've tried and said it didn't help, but it does work for me.
Was it a 'natural facelift? I wouldn't go that far. But would I have it again for cosmetic reasons? Yes.
Standard Medium Rooms at The Standard Spa, Miami Beach typically start at around £225 per night. Be aware, these have a Queen-sized bed, which is the smaller end of doubles.
Standard Large Rooms with king beds can cost from £260 per night. Fancier Garden Rooms and Bath Terrace Rooms, which feature outdoor spaces, start at around £300. There's also a nightly resort fee of about £50 on top.