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Washington Post
2 hours ago
- Washington Post
Miss Manners: Daughter is spending Father's Day with her husband instead of me
Dear Miss Manners: Should a daughter spend Father's Day with her husband or her father? I haven't seen my daughter on Father's Day since she got married 18 years ago. Her husband demands to spend Father's Day at their beach house 300 miles away, and later, they will want to host me there for a visit. I think this is extremely selfish of him and a slap in the face to me. She has no backbone when it comes to him and his family; she 'married up,' or so she thinks. I am not going to condone this any longer, and I know it will put a big rift between us. I am tired of enabling this behavior. I deserve more respect. Her husband is not her father, I am! Let him go to the beach house and take the kids with him. His ego creates this divide! You are tempting Miss Manners to guess why you don't get along with your daughter's family. But as she prides herself on answering people's questions when they are within her field of expertise, rather than shuffling everyone off to therapy, she will attempt to defuse this situation. First, you refer to the couple's children. It is reasonable for them to want to celebrate Father's Day as a family, including with Mama. Or did the husband leave your daughter alone on Mother's Day in favor of his own mother? Second, the likelihood of your daughter being held hostage by her husband, unable to break away to see her own father, is not great. Third, they are not ostracizing you. They have invited you to their beach house for a visit. So the etiquette problem is not their behavior, but your taking insult. You already know what your options are: to accept the situation, or to continue to rail against your daughter and son-in-law for their perfectly reasonable behavior and thus cause a family rift. Your choice. Dear Miss Manners: What is the proper dining etiquette with regard to the hand that is not holding a utensil? When we traveled to Europe, the locals did not like that my unused arm was in my lap, as they said that was improper. My children are constantly bucking my request of using good table manners. The expensive way to solve this would be to offer to take the children to Europe once they master the difference between American and European customs. In America, it is proper to keep the unused hand in one's lap; in Europe, it is rested on the table. In neither part of the world is it polite to characterize others' manners as rude. And Miss Manners notes that throughout the world, it is proper for children to listen to their parents. Dear Miss Manners: Why does it always happen when you are in a public place like a bus, you speak to someone and at least one stranger looks and hangs on to your private conversation? What can one do to stop that? That's what bus stops are for. New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, You can also follow her @RealMissManners. © 2025 Judith Martin
Washington Post
2 hours ago
- Washington Post
Carolyn Hax: Parent wants to push lonely tween to work on making new friends
Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My older son (12, seventh grade) is awesome. He's smart, funny, creative and kind. However, he doesn't have any very close friends or a best friend, and he really wants that. There's a group of kids he hangs out with, but he's mostly on the periphery — goes to big group activities but is never invited to smaller activities like sleepovers. He plays sports and is friendly with his teammates, but, again, things haven't really clicked there. I've encouraged him to be more proactive in coordinating weekend activities with the people he likes the most, but I think he's afraid of rejection. I've also encouraged him to sign up for new or different sports/activities to make new/different friends, but I think he wants the kids he likes to like him better. I know I can't make his friends for him, and I don't want to pressure him or make him feel bad about his situation. I don't want to overtalk this because it's really his situation. But I also want to help. I don't want him to feel alone or isolated. — Parent Parent: A lot of kids muscle through entire stretches of grade school socially, for a bunch of reasons: Some are more introverted or cerebral when lunchroom natural selection doesn't favor that; some have interests that just don't align with the in-crowd's; some have diagnosable conditions (autism spectrum, ADHD, etc.) that affect social fluency; some mature ahead of or behind the herd; some have chaos at home and it's all they can do to fake 'normal' between the bells. A few examples, not a comprehensive list. Even for extroverts, it takes some luck to meet 'my people.' Whatever holds a kid back, it tends to improve with maturity, experience and the progression toward full freedom of movement that culminates in adulthood. Your boy has much young-adult exploration and self-sorting opportunity ahead, especially after high school — though high school, too, offers incremental improvement as elective paths open up. Even summer jobs crack the door to self-expression the way geometry class never will. The sigh of relief is almost audible as less-well-adapted kids start to see a bigger pool of potential friends and occupations. Your son is, just by probability, a good candidate to feel this way — plus he's not being bullied, phew, or shunned; he's accepted, he's just not embraced. I don't mean to minimize the very real loneliness of that. But he has people to sit with at lunch, he is involved in productive activities. Coasting a bit as he builds social skills is a valid approach. If nothing else, it means patience is still an option for you. That, in turn, lets you stay out of it and focus on the family side of providing him with a meaningful, fulfilling and connected childhood. He's sharing how he feels, so be there to listen, not fix things for him. Show interest in his interests. Learn to ask him good questions. (Good social modeling for him regardless.) Be the place he feels loved when he's hurt. Have family field-trip plans handy, if he needs to be conveniently out of town sometimes. In general: Watch for signs of serious distress, yes, but also let yourself appreciate the bigger story of the person he's becoming. A reader's thought: · Mom, have you ever asked Tween what he wants to do to fix this? Then be careful that you're really listening and not only hearing what supports the things you see. You're a great mom and already aware of overstepping boundaries, so maybe just make sure you're checking your perspective at the door.
Fox News
2 hours ago
- Fox News
Woman runs from police during anti-ICE protest in Santa Ana
All times eastern Kelsey Grammer's Historic Battles for America Kelsey Grammer's Historic Battles for America FOX News Radio Live Channel Coverage
