6 days ago
The simple act that will boost your happiness, health and longevity
Therapist Martin Furber's latest column explores the chemistry of connection.
We all know that feeling, don't we?
That warmth that spreads through you when you have a good chat with a friend, a heartfelt conversation with a loved one, or even a surprisingly lovely encounter with a stranger.
It's more than just a nice moment; there's some powerful chemistry happening in our brains that makes these connections so vital for our well-being.
This week, as we kick off our series for June, exploring the 5 Ways to Wellbeing, we're diving deep into the magic of "connect" and why feeling truly seen and heard makes us shine from the inside out.
Think back for a moment.
Remember the last time someone really listened to you?
Not just waited for their turn to speak, but truly absorbed your words, made eye contact, and responded in a way that made you feel understood.
How did that make you feel?
Chances are, it wasn't just a fleeting moment of pleasantness.
There was a deeper sense of validation, of being seen and valued.
This feeling isn't just emotional; it's rooted in our neurobiology.
When we connect with others in a meaningful way, our brains release a cocktail of feel-good chemicals.
One of the key players is oxytocin, often dubbed the "love hormone" or the "bonding hormone."
It's released during physical touch, like hugs, and also during moments of genuine connection and trust.
Oxytocin promotes feelings of warmth, attachment, and security.
Then there's dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward.
When we have a positive social interaction, our dopamine levels can rise, reinforcing those connecting behaviours and making us want to seek them out again.
And let's not forget serotonin, which plays a crucial role in regulating mood.
Feeling connected and accepted by others can boost our serotonin levels, contributing to feelings of happiness and well-being.
When we feel isolated or disconnected, serotonin levels can dip, potentially impacting our mood negatively.
It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and let these vital connections slip.
But making a conscious effort to nurture them isn't just about being sociable; it's about actively nourishing our brains with the very chemicals that promote happiness and well-being.
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It's about remembering that we are social creatures.
So, this week, I'd like you to think about the magic of connection.
Let's reach out to someone we haven't spoken to in a while, make an effort to truly listen in our conversations, and be open to those unexpected moments where we find common ground with others.
Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities, an award-winning trainer, and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England.
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Please note: If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others, then please contact your GP, go to A&E, call NHS 111 (option 2), call the Samaritans on 116 123, or text SHOUT to 85258.
