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IOL News
15-05-2025
- General
- IOL News
Lighthouse parenting: navigating the stormy seas of modern child-rearing
More and more, parents desire well-rounded parenting methods that foster emotional well-being and the ability to cope with adversity. Lighthouse parenting seems to offer an ideal solution. Image: Agung Pandit Wiguna /pexels Parenting is a journey filled with choices, and the decisions we make about how to raise our children can profoundly shape their lives. Over the years, parenting styles have evolved, with terms like "helicopter parenting", "gentle parenting" and "authoritarian vs authoritative" becoming household phrases. Recently, a new approach to parenting has captured public interest: lighthouse parenting. "What is lighthouse parenting?" queries have surged online, with the term gaining popularity as a middle ground between the extremes of overbearing helicopter parenting and overly permissive hands-off approaches. What is lighthouse parenting, and why does it resonate with so many parents today? Coined by Dr Kenneth Ginsburg, a paediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist, lighthouse parenting is an approach that blends guidance and independence. In his book "Raising Kids to Thrive", Ginsburg explains that parents should act as lighthouses: providing a steady beacon of guidance, setting clear expectations, and offering protection while allowing children the freedom to navigate their own paths. Think of it this way: a lighthouse doesn't steer a ship, but it ensures it stays safe by illuminating hazards and showing the way forward. Similarly, lighthouse parents are present and supportive but don't micromanage their child's every move, nor do they leave them entirely to their own devices. The core principles of lighthouse parenting Provide a safe harbour: Parents act as a source of emotional security, offering a loving and supportive environment where children feel safe to express themselves and take risks. Set clear boundaries: While children are encouraged to explore and grow, lighthouse parents set firm, consistent boundaries that nurture responsibility and discipline. Model resilience and adaptability: Instead of shielding children from all challenges, lighthouse parents teach them how to face difficulties, adapt to change, and bounce back from setbacks. Encourage autonomy: Children are given the tools to make decisions and learn from their mistakes, fostering confidence and independence. Video Player is loading. Play Video Play Unmute Current Time 0:00 / Duration -:- Loaded : 0% Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. Advertisement Next Stay Close ✕ "When we think about a lighthouse, we don't think about something that controls us; rather, we think about something that guides us, something that is stable. That's why I chose the lighthouse metaphor. "We are reminded that we are surrounded by waves, but there is a plan to send us home safely," Ginsburg said during an appearance on the "Vertical Playpen" podcast with Phil Brown. "I choose to be a lighthouse parent, a stable force on the shoreline from which my child can measure themselves against." Google Trends showed lighthouse parenting showed a spike in searches for "parenting styles" (+400%) and "gentle parenting techniques" (+3,000%). Parents are increasingly seeking balanced approaches that promote emotional health while building resilience. Lighthouse parenting appears to address this need perfectly. Lighthouse parenting bridges these gaps by combining authoritative structure with emotional connection, a balance that is backed by research on effective parenting. Image: Antoni Shkraba Studio/pexels The rise of lighthouse parenting contrasts sharply with the two polar extremes dominating the conversation: Helicopter parenting: Overly involved parents who micromanage every aspect of their children's lives, leading to dependency and anxiety in kids. Hands-off parenting: Permissive or uninvolved parents who let children figure things out independently, sometimes without adequate support or guidance. Lighthouse parenting bridges these gaps by combining authoritative structure with emotional connection, a balance that is backed by research on effective parenting. How lighthouse parenting compares to other styles: authoritative vs authoritarian parenting One of the most searched topics, alongside parenting styles, is "authoritarian vs authoritative". These terms are often confused, but they represent starkly different approaches: Authoritarian parenting: High demands, low responsiveness. Parents enforce strict rules with little room for negotiation or emotional warmth. Authoritative parenting: High demands, high responsiveness. Parents set clear expectations, but they can also provide warmth, support and room for dialogue. Lighthouse parenting aligns closely with the authoritative style but places even greater emphasis on empowering children to navigate their own challenges. Gentle parenting and positive parenting Gentle parenting, which emphasises empathy and respect, saw a massive spike in search interest this year (+3,000%). Similarly, "positive parenting tips" (+120%) reflect a growing desire among parents to foster a nurturing, emotionally intelligent relationship with their children. Research supports the effectiveness of balanced parenting styles. According to a 2023 study published in the "Journal of Child Development", children raised with a blend of structure and emotional support demonstrate: Higher emotional intelligence Better academic performance Lower rates of anxiety and depression Stronger problem-solving skills How to practice lighthouse parenting If lighthouse parenting sounds like the right fit for your family, here are some actionable tips to get started: 1. Communicate openly: Create a culture of trust by having regular, honest conversations with your child. 2. Set boundaries with flexibility: Be firm about core values but open to compromise when appropriate. 3. Teach problem-solving: Encourage your child to think critically and come up with solutions rather than stepping in to fix everything for them. 4. Model healthy behaviour: Show your child how to handle stress, adapt to change and maintain balance in life.
IOL News
30-04-2025
- Lifestyle
- IOL News
Easy and fun activities to keep kids entertained this long weekend
The long weekends are a great time for family bonding and it doesn't have to be expensive. Image: Jimmy Dean/Unsplash Another long weekend is coming up in South Africa, offering a welcome break for many. However, parents often face the challenge of keeping their children entertained without spending a lot of money. If you're looking for budget-friendly and enjoyable activities that promote family bonding, here are some imaginative ideas: Outdoor Adventures: Create a Backyard Obstacle Course: Use household items like chairs, ropes, and boxes to design a mini obstacle course in your garden or backyard. This is a fantastic way for kids to burn energy and enjoy a physical challenge. Bonding Tip: Time each participant and offer encouragement to create a friendly family competition. Enjoy a Local Park Picnic: There's no need for extensive travel or expense. Prepare simple sandwiches, fruit, and juice and head to a nearby park. Encourage the kids to bring a ball or frisbee for added fun. Bonding Tip: Leave electronic devices behind and engage in classic outdoor games such as "I Spy" or races. A family enjoys some time out enjoying a picnic at a park. Image: Agung Pandit Wiguna/Pexels Video Player is loading. Play Video Play Unmute Current Time 0:00 / Duration -:- Loaded : 0% Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. Advertisement Next Stay Close ✕ Creative Indoor Fun: Set Up a DIY Arts and Crafts Station: Gather old newspapers, cardboard, glue, and any available art supplies. Let the children's imaginations soar as they create puppets, masks, or personalized cards for family members. Bonding Tip: Participate alongside your children and create your own artwork, perhaps a collaborative family mural. Bake Together: Children usually love the hands-on experience of baking. Choose simple recipes like scones, muffins, or cookies and involve them in measuring, mixing, and decorating. Bonding Tip: Organize a fun "bake-off" challenge with different themes and playful rewards. Host a Themed Movie Marathon: Transform your living room into a cozy "home cinema" with blankets, popcorn, and fairy lights. Allow each family member to select a short film or episode to watch. Bonding Tip: After each viewing, discuss your favourite parts or the funniest moments together. Organize a Treasure Hunt: Hide small toys or treats around the house or yard and provide clues for the children to follow. You can even create themed hunts based on pirates, detectives, or nature. Bonding Tip: Take turns being the "hunt master" and devising the clues for others to solve. Build a Blanket Fort and Share Stories: Sometimes the simplest activities are the most engaging. Use chairs, cushions, and blankets to construct a fort in your lounge, then spend time inside telling stories or reading aloud. Bonding Tip: Encourage everyone, including adults, to make up their own short stories to share. Movie night camp out. Picture: Pinterest Transform your living room into a cozy "home cinema" with blankets, popcorn, and fairy lights. Image: Pinterest Explore Your Community: Visit Free Local Attractions: Check for free museums, community events, or outdoor concerts in your area. Many townships and suburbs host complimentary holiday activities for children. Bonding Tip: Let the family collectively decide where to go and experience something new together. Remember, a little imagination can go a long way. Involving your children in planning these activities can make them even more enjoyable. These affordable ideas not only keep kids entertained but also foster meaningful family memories. IOL Lifestyle
