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Yahoo
4 days ago
- Business
- Yahoo
The Post-America Moms Club Helping Families Start Over in Europe
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. One wrong turn in Mallorca, and Suset Laboy was texting 70 other mothers for help. She was driving her four-year-old twin daughter to school earlier this year when she swerved to avoid a serious crash, but still got rear-ended. She was fine. Her daughter was fine. But her heart was racing, and she had no idea what to do next in a country with rules she didn't fully understand. Back in Brooklyn, where she'd lived for 14 years before moving abroad, she would've known exactly how to handle it. In Spain, she opened WhatsApp. The thread she turned to wasn't just any group chat—it was Mother Euro, a growing community and relocation service founded by two American moms to support women who've left the U.S. behind in search of something better. Part concierge, part lifeline, Mother Euro connects moms with everything from visa lawyers to pediatricians to the best iced coffee in town. The network currently includes 80 members, and while most are based in Spain, the U.K. is their second-largest hub, with plans to expand across other European markets. 'I didn't feel comfortable living in the U.S. anymore,' says Alice Kim, an American citizen and Mother Euro member who moved from California back to her birthplace, Seoul, before settling in Barcelona with her husband and two-year-old son. 'I was worried about the political climate. My friends raising their kids there would talk about gun violence and how the kids would have to prepare for breathing without their chest moving. Our American dream really got shattered.' Kim isn't alone. A growing number of Americans are considering or actively planning to relocate to Europe, driven by concerns over political and social issues, including racial equity and LGBTQ+ rights. Relocation firms have reported increased inquiries, citing political polarization, threats to personal rights, and safety concerns. Applications for British citizenship by Americans have reached record highs. The day after Trump's second election, Google searches for how to leave the U.S. spiked by over 1,500 percent. Even celebrities have made exit plans: Rosie O'Donnell moved to Ireland in March. Ellen DeGeneres reportedly relocated to the U.K. last fall, as did Courtney Love. We're not just a relocation service. We're a village. We want to build each other up. For mothers in particular, the push factors are hard to ignore. The U.S. has the highest maternal mortality rate among developed countries, and since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, access to life-saving care can depend on your zip code. Meanwhile, child care costs have soared—averaging $11,582 annually, according to Child Care Aware of America—and in many places, the cost of caring for two children now exceeds the cost of housing. So last fall two American moms, Emily San Jose, 34, and Maggie Gavilán, 32, launched Mother Euro, a membership-based community designed to help women navigate the move abroad and build a life once they're there. Aspiring members pay $1,500 a year for full relocation support, while Resident members who are already living abroad pay $500 annually to join a network of local moms and access the group's resources, meetups, and ongoing assistance. It's part WhatsApp hive mind, part on-the-ground network for everything from kids' weird rashes to the best local cafés to hit with toddlers in tow. It's also where a member can seek advice when, say, she's rear-ended in a new country and not sure how insurance works in Spain. 'We're not just a relocation service. We're a village,' says Gavilán. 'We want to build each other up. A traditional relocation specialist is going to be, you know, the guy that your dad's company set you up with. He's gonna show you, you know, the best moving company. And we have all those things, but we bring in the emotional factor that we know is so important as women and as moms.' In addition to real estate agents and top-notch immigration lawyers, Mother Euro connects members with nutritionists, multilingual therapists, and barre studios. When I mention someone who moved to Spain to access IVF, which is significantly cheaper there than in the U.S., Gavilán jumps in: 'Do we have a partner for IVF? Not yet. But if you need one tomorrow? We'll find them.' Most moms hear about Mother Euro through San Jose, the Madrid-based cofounder better known as @MamaInMadrid. The Oregon native moved to Spain immediately after college, with a plan to stay for a year, make money as an au pair, and travel in her free time. One month later, she met her Spanish husband. They eventually moved back to the Pacific Northwest for five years, but returned to Spain in 2021 to be closer to family. Online, San Jose is poised, mixing aspirational ease with dry humor in near-perfect Castilian Spanish. Take, for example, the blackout in Spain and Portugal in April. In a post about it on Instagram, San Jose tells the camera she was in the gym when it happened—aspirational!—and says, 'I went into flight or fight mode. My husband says that that is a very American reaction, to sort of catastrophize things. Fine with me if that's going to be my reaction in this situation.' Relatable! Among 30-something U.S. expats, San Jose is a bit of a celebrity. Proof: When I told a Spanish acquaintance that I was interviewing American moms in Madrid, she squeed, 'Do you know MamaInMadrid?!' Further proof: Gavilán, Mother Euro's cofounder, DMed San Jose last year when she was considering moving to Madrid, too. She has dual citizenship and wanted to be closer to her family. 'I saw this really pretty blonde girl living in Spain, speaking fluent Spanish, and I was like, maybe she'll be my friend,' she says. They met for drinks the next time Gavilán visited, shut down the bar, and took a few blurry two a.m. selfies. Gavilán got pregnant soon after, and started seriously planning her family's relocation. 'Raising children and even just being a pregnant woman in the States, transparently, felt really scary,' she says. 'So I wanted to give my kids and myself, selfishly—and I can be selfish—a better life.' Of course, moving to Europe isn't always as romantic as it sounds. There are visas to secure, cultural nuances to decode, and costs to consider. (Gavilán estimates relocation costs around $15,000, though it varies widely.) As she navigated her own move, friends and strangers began reaching out for advice. 'I'm telling you, I was on the phone until two a.m. sometimes trying to help moms with finding the right attorney or with the right education consultant because they didn't understand the nuances between the US and EU system and how that would work, which, I didn't either when I was figuring it out,' she says. That's when she realized there was a real need for a service that could guide women through it—not just logistically, but emotionally. 'People want to do this,' she says. 'But they want to feel as though they're in community with somebody doing it, either at the same time, or who has already done it—and also somebody who they want to hang out with.' Raising children and even just being a pregnant woman in the States, transparently, felt really scary. Though most of the Mother Euro action happens online, the group hosted its first IRL event in April: a dinner party in Madrid to celebrate the official launch. Thirty women flew in from Costa Brava, Mallorca, and London.'There were so many badass women there,' says Kim, who traveled from Barcelona to attend. During an icebreaker, members were first instructed to 'step in' if they were born in the U.S. For the second prompt, they were asked to take a step in if they were a business owner. 'I think three-fourths of the room stepped in,' she says. 'After that I was like, I'm going to have to step up my game.' She sat next to Heather, an American mom who's lived in Europe for 17 years, and peppered her with questions about schooling. Heather insisted on local schools over international ones. 'Now I'm leaning local too,' Kim says. 'Because more and more I feel like I don't want my son to go to a U.S. college after living all his adolescence in Europe. It would feel like a back step.' Mother Euro is expensive, on top of all the other costs that go into moving your life somewhere else, and it's not not luxury service. But it's one that 200-plus women are willing to pay; that's how many applicants Gavilán says they've been receiving per month. One aspiring member, who is planning a move to Madrid after her second child is born, says her membership has already been worth it. She explained that it was especially helpful for navigating Spain's Beckham Law, which allows foreign workers to pay significantly less in income tax than Spanish citizens, and far less than they would in the U.S. Still, upending your life to relocate to Europe isn't a panacea, nor is it easy. Moving abroad is a privilege and a struggle—both things can be true. Even the founders are still figuring things out as they go along: Gavilán is currently weighing public versus private hospitals in Madrid for her C-section; Laboy misses the diversity of Brooklyn. But for Laboy, the hardest part has been leaving her sister and parents behind. 'It feels sad, and at the same time, it feels like the right choice for us at this very moment,' she says, tears forming. 'It's very important for me to recognize that this move is a privilege that not everybody has.' 'Still,' she adds, 'living here feels like an exhale.' This community really helps me mentally. Mother Euro affirms something mothers around the world have always known: When women are part of the conversation, everyone wins. '[Our launch dinner party] reminded us that mothers will travel near and far to be seen, supported, and celebrated by their communities,' Gavilán recapped over email after the event. 'Listening to everyone share their stories on why they moved, what they're seeking, and how they're building their lives abroad—it was a powerful affirmation of why we created this space.' It also proves that no matter where you are, whether you're figuring out tax residency or just daycare culture, motherhood still takes a village. Like when Kim's son came home from his Spanish daycare with a goodie bag. 'I was like, 'Wait, was there a birthday party I didn't know about? Am I missing something? Do I need to send a gift?'' So she hit up the Mother Euro chat, where San Jose explained that in Spain, the birthday kid gifts their friends—instead of the other way around. The same goes for adults: if you host the dinner, you pick up the check. 'This community really helps me mentally,' Kim says. She's since made a real-life friend in Barcelona through Mother Euro, and the two are going to an Imagine Dragons concert this summer. 'Making friends when you're older is harder, but within Mother Euro, we all have so many commonalities that it just helps us click. I'm confident that whoever is in it shares the same values.' And after arriving in Spain in February, she hasn't looked back.
New York Times
18-02-2025
- Lifestyle
- New York Times
This Admittedly Expensive T-Shirt Designed for Ample Bosoms May Just Be Worth the Splurge
The thing about a T-shirt is that it's supposed to convey effortless cool. But for a busty, top-heavy gal like myself, finding a tee that accommodates my big boobs in a comfortable, stylish, and flattering way can be downright difficult. Think about it: When a garment is literally named after its right-angled contours, it's only natural that it can look a little boxy. When your own silhouette, in contrast, is primarily defined by a full, curvy rack, it's almost like trying to fit a round peg (or, you know, two of 'em) into a square hole. Tees that are too skimpy across the chest pull and stretch, showcasing my boobs in a way I don't want them showcased and making me feel straitjacketed. Meanwhile, tees that are roomy enough for my top half often hang shapelessly below the bustline, resembling a tent more than a shirt. So when Instagram started feeding me content for PerfectDD, a brand offering tops and dresses designed for folks with DD cups and larger who want to feel 'sexy, not self-conscious,' I was intrigued. This Supima cotton top employs nifty design tricks that work to downplay the visual prominence of a bigger bust while feeling comfortable and giving off a stylish, casual vibe. This is the same shirt as the Krista Tulip Sleeve Scoop, except with a V-shaped neckline. On its website, PerfectDD (pronounced 'perfected') makes a series of tempting claims about how its apparel works with and for all kinds of large busts, saying that its styles fit 'A to M cups.' PerfectDD's full line includes bodysuits, bodycon dresses, turtlenecks, shirt dresses, hoodies, corsets, jumpsuits, and button-ups. As a work-from-home, middle-aged, suburban mom with few occasions to dress up, I was most drawn to the T-shirts. (PerfectDD founder Alice Kim also told me in a Zoom interview that the T-shirts are their best sellers.) Many of the tees I live in have been incorporated into my wardrobe by default—meaning, I may not love them, but at least I don't hate them. Maybe they're slouchy, but at least they're not restrictive. Sure, they fall short of fabulous, but I can live with them. The only difference between the two T-shirts I tested is the neckline. The Krista Tulip Sleeve Scoop (left) has a U-shaped neckline, while the Amy Tulip Sleeve Tee (right) has a V-shaped neckline. Marki Williams/NYT Wirecutter For a big-chested person willing to pay an admittedly pretty penny—the two PerfectDD tees I tested for several weeks, the Krista Tulip Sleeve Scoop and Amy Tulip Sleeve Tee, cost $105 apiece—was this finally a Goldilocks solution? Was this a top that worked with my body type, not against or in spite of it? To my surprise, I think so. When my PerfectDD tops first arrived for testing, I was so eager to try them that I put one on right in the Wirecutter office restroom. I honestly can't recall which I wore first, because the Krista and Amy shirts are nearly identical, except that the Krista features a U-shaped scoop neck, while the Amy shirt's neckline is V-shaped. Based on my colleagues' reactions, as well as the several 'cute top!' compliments I received throughout testing, the first detail people notice about these shirts is their signature tulip sleeves. While a basic T-shirt sleeve is typically cut from a single piece of fabric, tulip sleeves are made from two curved, overlapping pieces. PerfectDD's tulip sleeves also feature shirred pleats to create a puff effect—which, I found, increases their visual interest while helping to accent the shoulders and counterbalance the prominence of a bigger bust. A few friends even asked to touch them—the sleeves, not my boobs. The shirts' tulip sleeves, made with two overlapping pieces of fabric, may be the cutest part of the whole garment. Marki Williams/NYT Wirecutter (If you just don't like puffy sleeves, PerfectDD recently introduced another T-shirt design, the Perfect Rolled Sleeve Tee, which we have not tested.) On that first day, the shirt felt slightly tight on me and made me a little self-conscious, even though I'd followed the brand's sizing guidelines. (T-shirts are sold in sizes XS to XL; your size is determined by your bra size.) But by the second wear, both tees had loosened just a bit into a shape that skimmed and draped in all the right places. The PerfectDD shirts make my chest look like just a part of me, not the whole show. These tees give me a lengthy, hourglass torso instead of a blah, chunky one. (Kim confirmed to me that the shirts' side seams are curved rather than straight.) The tulip shaping along the sleeves also lend a nice shape to my upper arms, which have always been on the thick and matronly side. And the necklines, as promised, hit in a 'just right' spot below the collarbone that helps take away visually from the heft of my bust without showing cleavage or making me feel like the girls are spilling out. Perhaps best of all, I didn't see those telltale tension lines that you might get from putting on a too-small tee. Going clockwise from top left: That's me in the PerfectDD Krista Tulip Sleeve Scoop size XL, the Amy Tulip Sleeve size XL, the Amy Tulip Sleeve size L, and the Krista Tulip Sleeve Scoop size L. In these pics, I think the brand-new XL shirts look better because they elongate and balance out my frame a bit more, but after one or two wears, the L shirts seemed to fit me better in the long run. Marki Williams/NYT Wirecutter 'A V-neck shape like this tends to be flattering because it breaks up the width of the body by directing the eye to the center,' said senior staff writer Zoe Vanderweide, who wrote our women's T-shirt guide. 'This has the effect of enhancing an hourglass shape.' The puffy tulip sleeves, she added, 'create this upward lift that visually slims the arms [and] gives a heart shape to the upper body.' I also compared the Amy and Krista tops with one of Wirecutter's favorite women's T-shirts, the Mott & Bow Fitted V-Neck Marcy Tee—specifically because, as we note in that T-shirt guide, 'fuller-busted testers were especially smitten and found the style [of the Marcy Tee] flattering without being too tight or revealing.' The Marcy Tee is a great T-shirt (and, at about $40, much more affordable than the PerfectDD tees), and I agree with many of our testers' positive comments: It's a super-soft garment with a slightly tapered torso and short-ish sleeves that don't add visual bulk to my upper body. For me, the biggest difference between the Mott & Bow and PerfectDD shirts is that the latter makes my breasts look less pronounced—I dare say, perhaps even smaller than they really are. The Mott & Bow's V-neck is shallower (as Zoe told me, 'a too-high V will just emphasize the width of a larger chest') and its bottom hem hits me just a tad higher on the waist, making me look more squat and feel more like I'm just a wall of boob coming at ya. To put it another way, the PerfectDD shirts make my chest look like just a part of me, not the whole show. When I wear them, I feel good overall, rather than self-conscious about one specific thing. With such a steep price, though, I wanted proof that PerfectDD's T-shirts were delivering more than just visual trickery, so I took them to Larissa Shirley King, a New York City–based intimate apparel designer and assistant professor of fashion design at Fashion Institute of Technology. FIT instructor Larissa Shirley King helped me take my PerfectDD shirt for a test drive. Hannah Rimm/NYT Wirecutter She was as unexpectedly impressed as I was, and identified a few more components that contribute to them not only looking good, but feeling surprisingly comfortable: Armholes that don't bunch or pull. The PerfectDD armholes, King pointed out, aren't as straight as a typical T-shirt's. Because of this, the shirts offer an impressive range of arm motion without causing the whole garment to pull forward or ride up. 'Very often, when you're wearing a basic T-shirt, you get extra fabric in the armpit because there's no shaping in there,' she explained. 'When somebody is fuller busted, you need to take away from the armhole.' A regular T-shirt's boxier sleeve (left) is typically made from a single piece of fabric and may bunch up in the underarm area. The PerfectDD tulip sleeve (right) and specially designed armhole allow for arms to move more freely. Hannah Rimm/NYT Wirecutter Sustainable textiles. PerfectDD's Sustainability and Social Responsibility commitments, as listed on its website, include the use of 100% Supima cotton in the manufacturing of all Krista and Amy shirts (except the heather grey color, which is made from dead stock). 'I'm a Supima fangirl," King said. 'It's grown in the US, and it's known as an extra-long-staple fiber, which means it's strong and durable and lasts a long time.' Those extra-long fibers also result in a 'finer, silkier' textile, she added, which elevates the look and feel of the garment. Extra space in the boob area. When the shirts were laid flat on a table, King noticed circles in the garment's chest area where the fabric was roomier. 'It really looks like they molded it the same way you'd mold a seamless cup bra, heat-setting the fabric with a metal mold,' she said. Supima cotton excels at conforming to a person's contours—so much so that my boobs literally gave this PerfectDD tee the 'impression' of having boobs of its own. Hannah Rimm/NYT Wirecutter However, Kim told me there's no molding in the manufacturing process; instead, that's just prewashed Supima cotton doing its thing. 'There's a natural stretch to it, which is why it felt a little tight the first time you put it on,' she said, 'but then it almost molds to your body and becomes a custom piece.' I prefer to leave the house not looking like a disheveled hag, but I often don't have the time or energy to curate an easy-breezy, put-together outfit. The Krista and Amy shirts have offered me a quick shortcut to an upgraded, more sophisticated look when I want it without having to invest in other clothing to get it. When I had to attend back-to-school night at my kid's middle school, I had all of 90 seconds to change out of my shlubby daytime garb. I threw on a PerfectDD tee with a pair of mall-brand, trouser-cut jeans I've had for years and a comfy flat, and I felt like Lily van der Woodsen. This was also a key difference compared with the Mott & Bow Marcy Tee, which gave off an athletic-wear vibe. If you can appreciate the difference: I wouldn't think twice about going for pizza in the Marcy Tee, but I wouldn't necessarily want to go to dinner in it. Per our editorial guidelines, I have not kept the shirts—but what I've realized since trying them is that a dressy tee is a key piece that had been missing from my wardrobe. Even if the brand didn't claim to design a shirt that catered to the curves of bigger boobs, I might splash out three figures on the Amy or Krista just for this reason. Look good or bust? I no longer have to choose. This article was edited by Hannah Rimm and Maxine Builder. What I Cover Rose Maura Lorre is a senior staff writer. Her byline has appeared in The New York Times, Esquire, Salon, Business Insider, HGTV Magazine, and many more. She lives in New Jersey with her husband, her daughter, one dog, two cats, and lots and lots of houseplants.
