10 hours ago
This mom's ruler trick at a party just taught a social lesson everyone needs
What do you get when you mix a birthday party, a toy setup, and a ruler? For one mom, it became the perfect chance to teach her daughter a skill many adults still struggle with: how to navigate social situations with confidence and kindness.
In a now-viral Instagram video posted by parenting advocate and author Alyson Kenny (@chasingcivility), she gently walks her daughter through how to welcome guests, introduce friends, and respect personal space. The clip is captioned:
'Introductions and personal space can be tricky even for adults. It's never too early to introduce these social skills. I recommend starting to introduce these skills around age 3.' #manners #etiquette #socialskills #parenting
The response from parents has been overwhelmingly positive. With With 593,000 views, the video is clearly striking a chord—especially for caregivers trying to raise kind, emotionally aware kids.
Related: 7 activities that teach preschoolers + toddlers social skills
In the clip, Kenny coaches her daughter through a pretend play scenario: how to introduce friends who don't know each other yet. Her daughter practices saying their names and even shares something fun about each—'Emma likes Disney World,' she says proudly.
Then Kenny pulls out a ruler and asks, 'When you're meeting new people, do we stand six inches apart or 18 inches apart?' Her daughter replies, 'Eighteen inches—because they'll pop their bubble.'
It's a brilliant visual. In just a few calm minutes, Kenny models how parents can teach social scripts and respectful boundaries in a way that feels safe and engaging—not forced. This kind of modeling is especially helpful for kids who learn best through visuals or routines.
The comments on Kenny's post show just how needed this kind of intentional parenting content is:
@crissygirl500: 'Omg the ruler!! I've been trying to teach my toddlers about space but I never thought to get out an ACTUAL RULER! That's genius! Thank you.'
@katieewillems:
'I love seeing this! If there's one thing my mom definitely got right, it was teaching me social etiquette, manners, hospitality, and gratitude. These skills will last forever! Way to go '@pippagrintlewis:
'The ruler! My 5-year-old son is so sweet and social but I am constantly reminding him to back up a little and give our friends space. I love this approach! Immediate follow '
Rather than just praising the moment, these parents are reflecting on their own childhoods—and how much they want to pass these lessons down.
Experts agree that social skills can be taught just like any other skill—especially when broken down into small, manageable parts.
According to the National Association of School Psychologists' 2020 Practice Model, effective social development in children includes fostering social communication and interactions, problem-solving, and anger and conflict management
Rather than expecting children to 'just pick it up,' NASP recommends using modeling, role-playing, and real-world practice to help kids internalize these behaviors. That's exactly what Alyson Kenny's video models—using a quick, low-pressure play scenario to teach introductions, conversation cues, and personal space.
By practicing a script like 'Emma, this is Blakely,' and using a ruler to measure respectful distance, kids gain a visual and verbal framework they can draw on in real social situations. It's a calm, consistent approach—and one that supports both confidence and connection.
Related: Your child's social skills in kindergarten are more important than their academics
If you'd like to borrow from Kenny's approach, here are a few simple ways to make it your own:
1. Practice in calm moments. Before a party or playdate, use dolls or toys to role-play introductions and small talk.
2. Use props. Grab a ruler or even stretch your arms out to help kids visualize appropriate personal space.
3. Narrate the why. Instead of saying 'don't get too close,' try: 'Giving people space helps them feel more comfortable.'
4. Repeat often. Kids learn best with practice. Revisit the same ideas weekly, not just once.
5. Keep it playful. No shaming, just gentle guidance. A little fun makes learning stick.
Kenny's video shows how powerful small, intentional moments can be. With a simple setup and calm guidance, she turns playtime into a meaningful lesson in connection and respect.
Teaching emotional intelligence doesn't require perfection—just presence, practice, and a little creativity.
Because whether your child is three or thirteen, there's always room to grow the social skills that help them thrive.
