Latest news with #AmIBeingUnreasonable
Daily Record
20-07-2025
- Daily Record
Woman's 'intrusive' neighbours keep letting 'unruly' kinds into her garden
The woman finds the situation "really intrusive and unpleasant" and asked for advice on how to stop it A woman says that her neighbour has been lifting her fence panels to let his kids into her garden, without her permission. Turning to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum, the woman sought advice on handling the issue, confessing she doesn't "particularly like" her neighbours due to their "unruly" kids and overall loudness. She recently found out that the family has been "intruding" on her property. She recounted how the neighbours' children previously cycled on her drive and scaled her 4ft garden fence, prompting her to take steps to prevent it. Despite her efforts, she noticed "things would be moved" in her garden or that balls the children played with and ended up there were mysteriously retrieved. The woman overheard a chat between her neighbour and his children, revealing he's been lifting the fence panel to grant them access to her garden. While the father denied this, she insisted "it's clear this is what they've done more than once." After being refused entry, the kids opted to climb over the fence for their ball. The woman says that she "wouldn't have dared" to do something similar when she was a child and that it feels "really intrusive and unpleasant". She has asked what the people of Mumsnet think about the situation. In the full AIBU post, the woman said: "I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart. "What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there. "Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away. "So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones. "They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way. "This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someone's garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant. They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13." The post garnered a numerous reactions, with a majority rallying behind the woman's need to take additional measures to maintain her privacy. Suggestions from supporters included the use of anti-vandal paint and sprinklers as deterrents to discourage her neighbours' intrusions. However, some advised against taking any action that might "escalate" the situation further. In response to the post, one person said: "Turn the hose on them! Can you set up a motion-detector sprinkler system? And plant some very spiky things." A second wrote: "Tap a wedge in low down on your side and they won't be able to lift the panels". Another said: "Really this is never ok, unless the neighbour allows it. Otherwise it is trespass. Secure your fence, those fence clips look good, and barbed wire along the top. Also close any gaps there may be at the side. "I wonder what they get up to when you are in holiday? Is your garden bigger and nicer, or just a nice private extension to theirs. They could have a party there when you are away, to give the parents some peace and quiet (not). Barbed wire underneath too, and a lovely hedge of wild tudor rose and hawthorn, long term." A fourth Mumsnet user said: "I would be annoyed as well. That's trespass and invading your privacy . Hope you get it fixed so they can't do it again." Some advised the woman to refrain from exacerbating tensions with her neighbours and suggested a more diplomatic approach. One person said: "Talk to them, tell them you will be returning the balls in your own time and ask them to respect your privacy." A second said: "Please don't puncture the balls. It's not going to anything good, it will only escalate". Another added: "If you heard them discussing those balls and where they were why didn't you just throw them back and call over the fence that if they ever need a ball back to just knock and ask?"
Daily Mirror
20-07-2025
- Daily Mirror
Woman 'irritated' with 'intrusive' neighbours letting their 'unruly' kids into her garden
The woman finds the situation "really intrusive and unpleasant" and asked for advice on how to stop it A woman claims her neighbour has been lifting fence panels to give his children access to her garden without permission. The frustrated homeowner turned to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum to seek advice on how to deal with the situation. She admitted she doesn't "particularly like" her neighbours, due to their "unruly" offspring and excessive noise levels. However, she has discovered that the family has been "intruding" on her property. She added that in the past, the neighbouring children would cycle across her driveway and scale her 4ft garden fence, prompting her to implement measures to stop it. Despite her efforts, she began noticing that "things would be moved" within her garden, and that when a ball the children were playing with had accidentally ended up there, when she'd check, it had already been removed. The woman said she overheard a telling exchange between her neighbour and his kids - discovering the father had been manually lifting fence panels to allow the children into the garden. She added that while the father refused this, "it's clear this is what they've done more than once." She said that despite being told no, the children then decided to climb over the fence to retrieve their ball. The frustrated woman reflected that she "wouldn't have dared" attempt such behaviour during her own childhood, describing the situation as "really intrusive and unpleasant." She has asked what the people of Mumsnet think about the situation. In the full AIBU post, the woman wrote: "I don't particularly like my neighbours. They have a lot of unruly children, and the family as a whole are generally quite loud and irritating. That said I'm happy to keep myself to myself, and accept noise is a fact of life when you live in a built up area and houses are only a few feet apart. "What I do object to is them intruding (for want of a better term), into my property. The children used to ride bikes on my driveway, I now keep my front gated locked. They also used to frequently climb over the 4ft fence between our properties into my back garden. I replaced it with a 6ft fence last year but have had suspicions they still enter my garden as things would be moved, or I'd hear a ball being kicked over but when I'd go outside to look there wasn't one there. "Today I was in the garden and found 4 of their balls that must've been kicked over earlier today which I threw back - I always do throw the balls back, although sometimes it might be a day or two as I don't go out in the garden every day, am at work, can't be bothered going out there if its raining etc. They very rarely knock to ask for the balls back and rely on me throwing them over but if they do ask I give them back straight away. "So about half an hour later I hear all the kids in the garden (its warm and sunny here today so I've got windows and doors open)whining to the parents about how their balls are in my garden, and can't dad just lift the fence panel again so they can retrieve them. There are 2 that it seems I missed, ones in a bush and another one in the far corner and despite having 10+ balls and the 4 I've chucked back, they need these ones. "They've seen them from looking over the fence I assume, they have a climbing frame near the fence which they can see over into my garden from. So anyway dad kind of fobs them off ineffectually but its clear this is what they've done more than once for them to even suggest it. They're still going on about it an hour later and saying well we'll climb over her gate then and get them that way. "This isn't on is it? I wouldn't have dared go in someone's garden when I was a child and there's no way my parents would have allowed it either. I'm now trying to work out how I can stop them lifting the panel, because clearly although they didn't do it today they have and I'm sure will again. It feels really intrusive and unpleasant. They're not tiny BTW, ages range from 8-13." The post sparked hundreds of replies, with many in support of the woman needing to take an extra step in order to keep her garden private. Suggestions poured in, ranging from anti-vandal paint to motion-activated sprinklers, all aimed at deterring the nosy neighbours. Yet some cautioned against taking any action that might "escalate" the already tense situation. One person said: "Turn the hose on them! Can you set up a motion-detector sprinkler system? And plant some very spiky things." Another commenter advised a more subtle approach, writing: "Tap a wedge in low down on your side and they won't be able to lift the panels." A third added: "Really this is never ok, unless the neighbour allows it. Otherwise it is trespass. Secure your fence, those fence clips look good, and barbed wire along the top. Also close any gaps there may be at the side. "I wonder what they get up to when you are in holiday? Is your garden bigger and nicer, or just a nice private extension to theirs. They could have a party there when you are away, to give the parents some peace and quiet (not). Barbed wire underneath too, and a lovely hedge of wild tudor rose and hawthorn, long term." A fourth Mumsnet user said: "I would be annoyed as well . That's trespass and invading your privacy . Hope you get it fixed so they can't do it again" Others said the woman should avoid escalating the situation with her neighbours and instead try to talk to them. One wrote: "Talk to them, tell them you will be returning the balls in your own time and ask them to respect your privacy." A second said: "Please don't puncture the balls. It's not going to anything good, it will only escalate". Another added: "If you heard them discussing those balls and where they were why didn't you just throw them back and call over the fence that if they ever need a ball back to just knock and ask?"
Metro
21-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
This woman thinks celebrating your own birthday is narcissistic — is she right?
Be it a birthday, an anniversary or simply surviving a tough week, I've always loved finding an excuse to celebrate. But according to the internet, this makes me a 'narcissist'. Taking to the Am I Being Unreasonable forum on Mumsnet, one woman sparked a heated debate this week when she proclaimed: 'I think celebrating one's birthday is a very narcissistic thing to do.' She confessed she'd never understood the need to celebrate a birthday as an adult, as she thought it was just 'attention seeking' behaviour. 'Look at me…it's my day, make me feel so special blah blah blah,' she continued. 'I find it all so narcissistic. People getting extremely offended if their birthday is forgotten. Do you really care if someone has just got a year older?' For the most part, the comments read like variations of the iconic Come Dine with Me line: 'Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Jane.' Some branded the woman's view 'miserable' and and argued that birthdays were just meant to be 'a bit of fun'. A few also pointed out that getting older is a 'privilege' not everyone is afforded. However, there were some who agreed with the original post, saying adults who celebrate their birthdays were 'childish' and 'cringe'. While others said they didn't want to 'make a fuss' and felt 'awkward' about celebrating themselves. 'I like birthdays but some people do go over the top,' a fellow Mumsnet user posted in response. 'I have a mate who got her whole garden decked out in a certain theme and booked a DJ for her last birthday, which was her 34th, so not even a big birthday. She organised it all herself. A bit self-indulgent, but if it makes her happy that's up to her.' Someone else shared: 'It is one thing, if others decide to celebrate your birthday. Lovely! But to insist on it and winge on if others forget? Get over yourself. I've always thought throwing your own birthday party is very cringe too.' Metro asked registered members of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) for their thoughts. And the good news is celebrating your birthday doesn't make you a narcissist – at least, not in the diagnosable sense of the word. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is estimated to affect around 1% of the population and is characterised by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, an intense need for admiration, a deep envy of others, the belief they're unique and deserving of special treatment, and a preoccupation with brilliance and unlimited power. While many of us display some of these traits from time to time, it's considered pathological when it's a pattern of behaviours which impair a person's daily functioning – with others often caught in the crossfire. According to the NHS, a person with a personality disorder 'thinks, feels, behaves or relates to others very differently from the average person.' Therapist, LJ Jones believes most people who throw around the term 'narcissism' have little understanding of what the disorder actually is. But she's clear that celebrating your own birthday isn't an example of this. 'We all know that certain someone who is elaborate, extravagant or simply stretches their birth date to span the whole month; however, this does not warrant a diagnosis of narcissism.' She adds that celebrating your birthday only becomes cause for concern in 'extreme cases of self-obsession'. 'It only becomes over-indulgent when it's rooted in entitlement or a need for admiration at the expense of others,' she explains. 'For example, expecting everyone to bend over backwards, purchase expensive gifts, or reacting with anger when attention isn't given, or gifts aren't bought. Using your birthday to feel superior in such ways are possible red flags, but still not necessarily an indicator that a person is narcissistic. There are many other considerations, including people's unconscious need to stand out on social media.' Debbie Keenan, a senior accredited psychotherapist, agrees that celebrating your birthday isn't narcissistic. However, she claims there is a line where a person's behaviour could veer towards it. She explains: 'Celebrating your birthday isn't narcissistic, unless it stops being about joy and connection and starts being about attention and entitlement. Clinical narcissism is a deeper pattern of behaviour, constant validation-seeking, lack of empathy, and a sense that the world revolves around you. How you chose to celebrate another trip around the sun could reveal something else about yourself though. For counsellor Georgina Sturmer, it can be an indicator of your attachment style. There are four main attachment styles according to attachment theory, which are Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant and Fearful-Avoidant). These are thought to influence how we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives. Georgina says: 'A securely attached individual is likely be flexible and enjoy the festivities without needing to go over the top. By contrast, someone who has a preoccupied, or anxious, attachment style, might seem quite needy in how they approach celebrations. 'Festivities and attention might be an important part of how they seek reassurance and attention from others. ' At the other end of the spectrum, someone who has a dismissive, or avoidant, attachment style, might shy away from festivities all together. 'The spotlight might feel intrusive or awkward if we feel more comfortable on the outside, looking in,' says Georgina. She continues: 'This isn't black and white, it's about understanding the reasons behind the behaviour.' Experts actually told us it's 'healthy' to celebrate yourself. More Trending LJ Jones adds: It is totally normal and healthy to want to acknowledge your own existence, joy, and milestones,' she tells us. 'Some people might appear to go more 'over the top' but perhaps they weren't made much of a fuss of from caregivers during their childhood or adolescence.' So, as Debbie Keenan says: 'Throw that party, enjoy your birthday week and mark the moment however you like. It's not narcissistic, it's just being human.' Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: I bought the online poison that killed my son – it was easy MORE: People are sharing their favourite 'mega walks' — these are the best routes in London MORE: The one phrase that will make your doctor realise there's something seriously wrong
The Guardian
04-05-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
Malpractice season two review – relentlessly tense TV that will leave you terrified
Two years ago, former NHS doctor Grace Ofori-Attah created the relentlessly tense first series of Malpractice, a tale of an A&E doctor whose errors under impossible pressure, combined with the inexperience and equal stresses of others, resulted in the death of a patient. Then things escalated. It took in topical medical subjects – primarily the creeping problem of opioid addiction – alongside social issues, including the manifold effects of the pandemic, the prevalence of burnout, the bureaucratic inefficiencies that hinder staff and patients, the institutional buck-passing and arse-covering that greet any type of mistake, and the potential for corruption that exists in any large organisation. It asked how much we should expect of people trapped in a system starved of resources, how much human fallibility we should tolerate in healthcare. It was fast and in every sense furious, written as leanly and cleanly by Ofori-Attah as only someone with direct experience of a particular environment can. Only one episode of the new series is available for review but it looks to be shaping up just as well as the first. Psychiatric doctor James Ford (Tom Hughes) needs to be in two places at once: doing an assessment on shaky new mother Rosie (Hannah McLean), whose GP Dr Sophia Hernandez (Am I Being Unreasonable's Selin Hizli), contacts him about as the on-call psychiatrist during Rosie's postnatal checkup, and attending the sectioning of a troubled, crack-addicted pregnant woman at her home where the police are already waiting and threatening to leave if they have to do so much longer. Ford does the assessment first. He asks all the necessary questions. Can we accurately judge if he is rushing things? If he is paying enough attention to the answers? To Rosie's body language? Can anyone? Hernandez is certainly annoyed he leaves it to her to go through the medications he prescribes Rosie, but surely this is a legitimate division of responsibility when he has another vital job to get to? Hernandez seems demanding and dislikable. How much does that colour how we evaluate their point of view? These seeds of doubt already sowed, we move on to the sectioning visit and the necessary savagery involved in removing someone from her home against her will. The patient, Toni (Seraphina Beh) is placed in psychiatric care, where Hernandez and Ford – both with Toni and her baby's best interests at heart – clash again over how to manage the pregnancy and delivery. The frequent lack of clear clinical pathways is where dramas like this – Cardiac Arrest, Bodies, This Is Going to Hurt – are most confronting and terrifying. We want to think doctors know everything. No one wants to admit that this is impossible or that what we are really doing is trusting them to be the best at weighing options and risks, but never able to banish the latter. But the meat of the thing is in the fate of Rosie. The lack of clarity around her medications leads to her being insufficiently sedated during an episode of postpartum psychosis and to – in a courageously quiet, underplayed scene – tragedy. Possibly one that could have been avoided if Ford hadn't massaged the truth about how long it would take him to get back her ward (he is supposed to live within half an hour of the hospital – he is staying with his sister 45 minutes away), but equally possibly not. And so we meet again doctors Norma Callahan and George Adjei (Helen Behan and Jordan Kouamé) from the Medical Investigations Unit as they launch a 'fitness to practice' inquiry against Ford and we come again to the questions of culpability and moral responsibility that suffused the first series. The closing scenes suggest that we will not be done out of the many twists and turns the original Malpractice so brilliantly delivered, complete with revelations about the characters that complicate their moral standing in our eyes, their motives, their decision-making processes, the capacity they have to be at their best at any given moment in jobs that demand constant perfection. The new series promises to be as addictive and unsettling as the last, with another good cast and Ofori-Attah still with plenty of material. Malpractice can surely run and run – which is great news for viewers, if less so for doctors and their patients out in the real world. Malpractice season two aired on ITV1 and is on ITVX now
Wales Online
04-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Wales Online
ITV Malpractice full cast list - where you've seen the stars of medical drama before
ITV Malpractice full cast list - where you've seen the stars of medical drama before The cast of Malpractice series two has a serious pedigree in some of the UK's most iconic dramas including Happy Valley, Line of Duty, This is England and more Malpractice returns for it's second season on ITV and will feature new characters and new storylines. (Image: (Image: ITV) ) The long-awaited second series of Malpractice is finally here and kicks off on May 4, 9pm on ITV. Fans of the drama will be swept back into the turmoil of the West Yorkshire hospital where an unplanned investigation kicks off. Viewers will meet new cast members including Tom Hughes as Dr James Ford, a psychiatrist who becomes the subject of this season's inquiry. Meanwhile, Selin Hizli and Zoë Telford assume significant supporting roles. You can find out who the cast are and where you've seen them before, below. After the success of the first series, which provided a real insight into the workings of an emergency department, it's expected that viewers will be left wondering whether the series is based on a true story or influenced by real-world events in any way. You can read more about that, here. For the latest TV and showbiz gossip sign up to our newsletter . The official show synopsis reveals: "As the team dig further into the events of that night, what appears to be a series of poor choices by one doctor spreads beyond the psychiatric unit to a hospital seemingly at war with itself. Article continues below "With the MIU investigation closing in, can Dr Ford save his already fragile career from a string of apparently damning mistakes? "Is Dr Ford a doctor with a God complex or a victim of the institution? "And can the MIU uncover the truth of what happened, despite hostility from all sides?" Cast list of Malpractice series two Tom Hughes (Victoria) as Dr James Ford Selin Hizli (Am I Being Unreasonable) as Dr Sophia Hernandez Zoë Telford (Teachers, Unforgotten) as Dr Kate McAllister Jordan Kouamé (Wolf Hall, Dope Girls) as Dr George Adjei Helen Behan (This Is England '88 and '90, The Virtues,) as Dr Norma Callahan Hannah McClean (Blue Lights) as Rosie Seraphina Beh (Top Boy) as Toni Campbell-Brown Rick Warden (Trigger Point, HappyValley) as Eric Sawers Ace Bhatti (Line of Duty) as Dr Arun Mansoor Jessica Layde (Endeavour) as Bernadette Tobi Bakare (Death in Paradise) as Kwame Produced by World Productions (Line of Duty, Vigil), in partnership with and distributed by ITV Studios, Malpractice was filmed on location in Belfast with support from Northern Ireland Screen. Article continues below The new series begins on ITV1 at 9pm on Sunday 4th May, with the second episode airing on Monday 5th. The third on Tuesday, May 6 with episodes four and five planned for the following week. You can catch up with Malpractice on ITVX.
