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The Secret Society for Moms of Quadruplets ... and What Happens When They Get Together IRL
When Hanna Castle, 25, received the news that she was pregnant with quadruplets, she was floored. But after she posted her ultrasound on TikTok, she received a second surprise: an invitation to join what she calls "a very exclusive club."
It's a Facebook group called "Quad Moms and More," and it has about 650 members. But don't bother searching for it, because you'll never find it.
"Somebody who's already in it has to add you as a Facebook friend, and then they have to add you to the Facebook group and you have to show proof that you either have quadruplets or more," Castle tells Her proof was the viral ultrasound video featuring her quads — Atlas, Morgan, Magnolia and Dominic — who are now 3 years old.
"You can ask anything under the sun and they're gonna have an answer for you. You can vent about anything," Castle says of the members of the group. "It's just people that actually understand and that have been through it and can actually give you advice, because that's really hard to come by when you're in such a rare situation."
One of Castle's quad mom friends, Ashley Crandell, mentioned that she wished the online group could get together in real life. Though she was one of the youngest and newest members of the group, Castle decided to take the reins and plan a getaway for the moms of multiples. The trip has now become an annual event.
The first year they went to Nashville in late summer, then spring in Miramar Beach, Florida, and this year they just returned from a trip to St. George, Utah. Each trip has lasted three or four nights, and Castle rotates the timing and location to give everyone a chance at being able to attend.
What do moms do when they don't have to cater to their four, five, six (or more!) children? Anything they want!
"It's like a big adult women's sleepover," Castle says with a laugh. "A lot of us have never even met each other at all, and you're just going and staying with a bunch of strangers you met on the internet."
There are a few constants on the trips: a giant rental house, icebreaker games, matching pajamas, TikTok dances for the social media influencers of the group, photo shoots and one "fancy" dinner out.
Some things the moms do on the trip 'cannot be named,' Castle says mysteriously. But for the most part, "we just act as young girls again who don't have kids and responsibilities at home. It's such a good release."
Not every woman has young kids. Some members of the group are in their 60s, with quads (and more!) who are now in their 20s and 30s. Others, like Castle, have to line up parenting partners and caretakers to cover their absence at home.
You might guess that it would be a gargantuan task to prepare the family for mom's solo vacation. But Castle says dads of multiples are a cut above the average.
"When you have quads, quints and more, the dads don't really get to take a step back. They're super involved," she explains. "We are very fortunate that they're kind of forced to take on that active dad role that you don't get to see much these days."
Her husband, Nicholas Castle, readily steps in while his wife is away, and they find caregivers while he's at work.
Even so, Castle acknowledges how difficult it can be for moms to get away, which is why a good number of moms have only attended one of the three trips ... if any. But the ones who are lucky enough to get together are thankful they did.
"Every time we've left from a trip, I always have moms that are like, 'I really needed that. I was hanging on by a thread,'" Castle says.
There are also tears on the last day of vacation.
"You get so sad because you all live across the United States," Castle says of her mom group friends. "You don't get to see them every day but you relate to them so much. So it hurts to leave them. You really just needed that time to not have any responsibility for a moment and just relax."
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