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Chicago Tribune
a day ago
- General
- Chicago Tribune
Heidi Stevens: When the frantic pace of parenting young kids gives way to something even more meaningful — and mutual
I spent a recent Saturday morning at St. Catherine of Siena, a beautiful, sun-filled Catholic church in my hometown — a building I drove by more times than I can possibly count but had never stepped inside before May. When I was growing up, we attended a tiny Lutheran church the next town over — a building that changed hands almost a decade ago when a dwindling congregation made staying open unsustainable. But my first and oldest friend, Christina, attended St. Catherine's with her family. And when her mom died in early April, St. Catherine's was the place they chose to hold her funeral services. Which is why I found myself there on a recent Saturday morning. Christina's mom, Marilyn Backe, played the clarinet and tap danced and wore her hair longer than the other moms. I thought she was one of the coolest people I ever met. I still think that. There were years of my life when I probably spent more hours at the Backe home than my own, and the thing I remember doing more than anything at their house was laughing. Mrs. Backe took so much delight in our dumb antics and stories and jokes, or at least she pretended to. She had a way of laughing off a lot of moments that, when I look back now, as a mom, were probably pretty stressful. Three squabbling siblings to feed and raise and rein in. A neighbor kid (me) who never seemed to leave. But the soundtrack of that house, and so much of my childhood spent there, was laughter. That's a gift you can't even begin to put a price on. She set a tone and a mood that lodged itself somewhere deep inside my brain, long before I could understand it consciously, about what I wanted home to feel like. What I wanted my kids' home, once I had them, to feel like. She's a huge part of why I parent the way I do — with the hope, always, that we enjoy each other's company above all else. A few summers ago I visited Mrs. Backe after a long time apart, and she sent me a Christmas card that year. On the inside, she wrote 'I don't remember your husband or kids' names but I hope you all have a Merry Christmas.' I thought that was the most charming, honest, hilarious thing. Mrs. Backe's memorial was the second I attended in May. The weekend before hers, I spent the afternoon at a golf club in Elkhart, Wisconsin, celebrating the life of Roger DuClos, a longtime family friend and absolute gem of a dad who I wrote about in April. I was able to attend both memorials with my own parents — another gift you can't even begin to put a price on. There's something powerful about still having your parents to comfort you when you grieve another parent-figure in your life. There's something poignant about reaching an age — and a stage in your parent-child relationship — where the comforting starts to be mutual, maybe. Where you're watching each other to see how the day is going, how the moments are feeling, how the memories are landing. Meanwhile, my own kids have reached ages — 19 and almost 16 — where the frantic pace of parenting has receded a bit, giving way to more easy conversation, more marveling at their independence, even more of that laughter I so hoped for and so cherish. All of which has me revisiting something Mary Dell Harrington, co-author of 'Grown and Flown: How To Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family and Raise Independent Adults,' once told me. 'Our relationship with our young adults will last longer than our relationship with our adolescents and little kids, God willing,' Harrington said. 'My mother's 92. My relationship with her as a young adult and adult has lasted many more decades than when I was a kid. Over time, we've gone to being friends and confidants. I've asked her for advice, rather than her telling me what to do.' I love that framing for a million reasons, not the least of which is how it reminds us that parenting isn't a project that ends when you launch your kids after high school. It's not a chapter that closes. It's not an assignment to ace. If we're lucky, it's a lifelong relationship that we get to cultivate and calibrate and celebrate as we go. And if we spend those first 18 years laying the foundation — and the tone — for the next 18 and the next 18 and the next 18, it can be something truly wonderful. Attending the memorial services of my friends' parents, knowing that goodbyes and grieving are going to be a growing part of my days ahead — and knowing that means I was fortunate enough to know a lot of love — give Harrington's advice another layer of meaning. We raise our children. And we owe them our best, truest, kindest efforts. But they also raise us. We walk through the world side-by-side, until we can't. Her words, to me, are a reminder that there will be times our kids need to lean on us with their full weight. But there will also be times when we get to lean on them with ours. I've seen that lately. I've understood that more fully. Talk about a gift you can't even begin to put a price on.
Yahoo
31-01-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
EXCLUSIVE: Ted Gibson and Jason Backe to Bring the Mushroom Boom to Luxury Hair Care
We've seen the shroom boom largely in foods and skin care — Ted Gibson and Jason Backe are bringing it to prestige hair. 'We're excited to share the efficacy and sexiness of what mushrooms are,' said Gibson, the celebrity hair stylist whose clients have included Lupita Nyong'o, Angelina Jolie and Debra Messing. More from WWD Grammy Nominee Shenseea Debuts as Global Ambassador for The Mane Choice Atlas, a New Launchpad for Indie Designers, Opens at Westfield Century City The Best Hairstyles in Grammys History: Rihanna, Lady Gaga and More He and Backe, his husband, business partner and a celebrated hair colorist, have been mixing ingestibles consisting of chaga, rishi, tremella and lion's mane as part of a daily ritual these last few years and seen the benefits, they echoed. 'I take them every single day for, basically, my clarity, for my stress, for my hair and skin health, and then also, just, my sanity,' Gibson went on. Working with a lab in California, they've been formulating a patent-pending complex of mushrooms for an upcoming wellness and beauty line called Ted Gibson, which they originally launched in 2005 (alongside a Starring line) with hair goods that were sold at Saks Fifth Avenue, Sephora and Target before being discontinued. For its return, they look to disrupt the market by bringing a wide range of products melding wellness, beauty and science in the luxury space. 'We've been seeing adaptogenic mushrooms popping up in a whole bunch of different places, but where we're not seeing it is in premium beauty or wellness,' added Backe. 'We've been working with scientists, mycologists, in Oregon who spent 30 years studying adaptogenic mushrooms and algae.' Available for pre-order now on the first product coming in April is a $55 'Daily Mushroom and Blue-Green Algae Supplement' that's an all-organic powder made with medicinal mushrooms. In July, they'll release the $75 'Hypershroom Peptide Mask,' made to penetrate the hair cortex and reinforce strand integrity, and following in September, a $52 shampoo and conditioner, as well as $75 'All Over Oil' product. Sales projections for 2025 are approximately $750,000, with expectations to reach $5 million in 2026 with a major retail partnership, which is in the works. The duo is seeking strategic investment partners. 'We recognize a real opportunity to be a trusted resource — because this is just the tip of the iceberg; we're just learning so much more and more about adaptogenic mushrooms, medicinal mushrooms that other cultures have used for centuries, and we're just barely tapping into it here,' Backe continued. 'And we'll be able to bring this to the consumers that we've been catering to superficially for the last almost 30 years together.' The couple, married in the summer of 2014, ran four salons including in New York and L.A., before shutting doors and making Palm Springs, Calif. their full-time home. Through the years in business, and with past product launches, they've gathered a roster of clients and followers. 'We really wanted to put our foot into wellness,' said Backe of the first launch. They're looking to bring the new brand into curated concept shops like Violet Grey, as well as professional salons. 'We really appreciate and respect the stamp of approval from the salon professionals.'
