Latest news with #Banksy
Yahoo
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
What is 'banksying' & are LGBTQ+ daters more likely to be victims? Sex & dating experts weigh in
Dating in the modern age just seems to get more complicated every year. Between the ubiquity of hookup apps, and toxic relationship trends like ghosting, floodlighting, and love bombing, it's a wonder anyone manages to settle down at all. Then, add in the diverse types of relationship models out there, from polyamory and open relationships to soft-swapping and Living Apart Together, and things get even trickier to figure out. And now, a new toxic dating trend is sweeping the nation and leaving dating hopefuls in the lurch. It's called 'banksying,' a clever name for a cruel way to end a relationship by slowly destroying it from the inside out. But what is 'banksying,' how harmful is it, and are LGBTQ+ people more likely to be the victim or perpetrator of it? We talked to sex and relationship experts to give you the lowdown on this toxic new dating trend. What is 'banksying,' and where did the term originate? Bobica10/Shutterstock Bankysing is a new Gen Z dating term that gets its name from the infamous street artist Banksy, known for his mysterious art that pops up out of nowhere. But instead of a satirical piece of street art that self-destructs — like one of Banksy's paintings did — it's a selfish way to end a relationship to protect yourself by withdrawing emotionally and destroying the relationship from within, so that when the relationship ends, you're prepared and your partner is blindsided. 'The easiest way to describe banksying is as 'quiet quitting' for relationships,' Milla Impola, a sex, condom, and lube expert for ONE Condoms, tells PRIDE. 'One partner decides they're no longer inspired by the relationship and slowly begins to pull away emotionally. They conceal these feelings from their partner because they're not quite ready to jump ship, and they need time to emotionally prepare to part ways. When the time does come to end things, they feel less upset because they've already been preparing, but their partner is often left blindsided and hurt.' Basically, someone who is 'banksying' their partner has given themselves the opportunity to pre-grieve the end of the relationship, detach emotionally, and begin making plans for their future, while the unsuspecting partner ends up blindsided when the axe finally drops. How is 'banksying' different than ghosting? Ghosting is when someone ducks out of a relationship without saying a word. One day, they're just gone and cut off contact. With banksying, you stop reaching out as frequently, don't return phone calls or texts as often, make up excuses to cancel plans, and become more emotionally distant. 'Banksying involves enough interaction, albeit sparse and inconsistent, to sabotage the relationship from the inside,' explains Ally Iseman, a queer, kink-aware certified relationship coach and founder of Passport 2 Pleasure. 'Think of it like this: a ghost leaves nothing behind, like it was never there. Banksy leaves their work behind them, even if it destroys itself.' Is banksying more harmful than ghosting? Bankysing may be even more insidious because instead of leaving the relationship without telling you, someone attempting this move is emotionally manipulating their partner instead of admitting they want out. Ghosting may be cruel, but at least it's unambiguous. Banksying leaves your partner in limbo, not knowing why you're withdrawing and making them question the status of the relationship. According to Iseman, 'Having breadcrumbs of a relationship, even if they are rotting the relationship from the inside, can be hard to step away from' because, unlike with ghosting, 'Banksying leaves you something to hold onto, even if it's elusive and inconsistent.' Why would someone do this? Banksying can be tied to people's fear of confrontation, emotional codependency, or lack of communication skills. But according to Anthony Canapi, a marriage and family therapist, LGBTQ+ dating expert, and the founder & CEO of Best Man Matchmaking and Transcend Matchmaking, some people also engage in this behavior because they crave emotional intimacy but 'don't have the bandwidth to commit because it becomes overwhelming." They may also do it because they want the relationship but don't want to put in the work, or they're insecure. 'People who feel they don't deserve love or fear eventual rejection might pull a 'Banksy' before they get hurt and feel it's the easier out rather than being honest,' and they may be hoping the other person will 'get the hint' and end things themselves. Impola agrees, saying, 'Let's be real: ending relationships usually sucks. While breakups might be hard, showing your partner respect in that final moment is worth it.' Are LGBTQ+ people more likely to engage in or experience banksying? Banksying isn't unique to LGBTQ+ relationships, but queer people may be more likely to experience it. 'LGBTQ+ individuals may face unique challenges around communication, identity, or safety in relationships, especially in environments where they don't feel fully accepted,' Impola explains. 'These added complexities could contribute to different ways of navigating breakups, but the core behavior of banksying isn't limited to any one group.' Healing after being banksy'd Twinsterphoto/Shutterstock 'Breakups aren't fun, no matter how they go down. If you experience banksying, know that your emotions are valid,' Impola reminds. 'Frustration, sadness, regret… no matter what, it's normal to experience a flood of feelings when a relationship ends unexpectedly.' If you want to confront the person who treated you this way, make sure you go in knowing you might not get the closure you want, and ask yourself if you are ok with that. 'Sometimes the best thing we can do is radically accept what we can't change and move forward with the lessons we've learned,' she advises. Canapi also recommends not letting yourself fall into the trap of self-blame. It can be hard not to question your own worth when someone ends a relationship in such an emotionally manipulative way, but try to remember how amazing you are. 'They then start thinking they're the issue, when actually, if you've been Banksy'd, it's more about them than you. It's a red flag in disguise,' he says. What does this toxic dating trend say about modern dating and hookup culture? Canapi, who is the founder and CEO of two LGBTQ+ matchmaking services, says that while dating apps have made it easier to create 'intense emotional intimacy quickly' there is also a greater chance of harm, especially if you add in love bomdbing, trauma bonding, or banksying. 'Banksying is, at its core, a disappearing act to avoid emotional consequences, and in turn, you're causing so much more harm because it's promoting closure as optional; 'If I were to banksy them, they will get the hint that I'm not interested,' but fail to realize you're leaving someone at a cognitive rumination, where they replay everything trying to find clues or mistakes on what went wrong, when you're the one who has done wrong because you couldn't speak up,' he says. What should you do if you're considering banksying someone? If you're feeling the itch to get out of your relationship but think it would be easier to push your partner away and emotionally detach first, ask yourself why. Canapi recommends asking yourself these three questions: 'Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I scared of intimacy, rejection, or hurting them? Do I genuinely not want this, or am I afraid of being vulnerable or honest?' And then you need to be prepared to end the relationship in an open and honest way so that you're not wasting their time or your own. 'If you made someone feel seen, safe, or excited, and then go bye bye, your absence echoes loudly. Although it's hard, and it's not fun to be truthful and honest, that's what you signed up for.' Have you decided to end your relationship and want to do it in a mature way, but have no idea how to start? Canapi has some prompts to get the conversation started. Try one of these: I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I'm not in a place to continue this. I realized I'm not ready for something deeper. You deserve someone who is. Canapi says, 'You may be a person trying to navigate modern dating, maybe without the tools or emotional safety to do it well, but there's a way to do it ethically and that respects the other person. Next time, leave clarity, not confusion.' Sources Cited: Milla Impola, a sex, condom, and lube expert for ONE Condoms. Ally Iseman, a queer, kink-aware certified relationship coach and founder of Passport 2 Pleasure. Anthony Canapi, a marriage and family therapist, LGBTQ+ dating expert, and the founder & CEO of Best Man Matchmaking and Transcend Matchmaking. This article originally appeared on Pride: What is 'banksying' & are LGBTQ+ daters more likely to be victims? Sex & dating experts weigh in RELATED Not getting dating app matches? These 5 common mistakes may be to blame experts say 15 Dating Tips For Gay Introverts, How To Get The Guy Even When You're Shy 15 pieces of dating advice for gay/bi men that actually don't suck Solve the daily Crossword
BBC News
a day ago
- Entertainment
- BBC News
Allardyce has had his chips in Dudley - and Big Sam loves it
Former England manager Sam Allardyce says he loves the giant mural of him eating chips that has mysteriously appeared in his home town of despite the ex West Brom boss's fondness for the 10ft image - added to a wall on Union Street - he says he can't shed any light on what remains for now a painted if the Black Country is telling Banksy to move over, and there's a new urban paintbrush guerrilla on the loose - Chipsy anyone? - Allardyce doesn't seem to he has shared some ideas on why he might be linked to the takeaway staple - and a particularly orange batch at that. And it's all to do with those Dudley roots. The mural appearing last week depicts him in a suit and tie, perhaps deep in thought over formations, and using his fingers to eat straight from the paper - none of your fork, fork, two."The only thing I can think," he told BBC Radio WM, "is in my day down in Dudley when I lived there, the local fish and chips shop did battered chips and that might create the orange chips that [the artist has] put on it."Now, if that's the case, he's gone really deep on my time in Dudley. He's got that right, or he's just got the chips a rather orange colour, who knows?"The regional delicacy of orange chips are thought to be dipped in a batter with turmeric or paprika added to give them a hue roughly the same as the Netherlands' home kit. Stating the artwork had nothing to do with him, Allardyce said he thought the artist had captured a good likeness of him."Obviously I thought it was a very good likeness whoever's created it, and I must admit, it's very, very good in terms of likeness."When they said it was 10ft tall, that's some piece of work isn't it?" added Allardye, who was brought up on Old Park Farm estate in the impressed was the former boss of clubs also including Blackpool, Notts County, Bolton, Newcastle, Blackburn, West Ham and Sunderland, he said he would like to meet the mystery artist, if their identity was ever revealed. "If somebody says who did it and they want to meet up then maybe I can get down and have a chat with them," he told the BBC. "They must be a fan I think?"And others seem to be similarly intrigued."I've not had as many messages since I was managing last time," Allardyce said, his phone livelier than transfer deadline said he had no family remaining in the area but happily remembered playing football on a field on his estate which is where he "learnt my trade in the old days".Now working on a podcast, he said if he was to return to management and it was in the West Midlands, he would pick Wolverhampton Wanderers as he had always been a fan. Follow BBC Wolverhampton & Black Country on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram.
The Sun
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
The up-and-coming English seaside town with beachfront hotels, viral Kate Bush event and new ‘open-air art' trails
WHAT do Kate Bush and Folkestone have in common? Absolutely nothing — apart from one day of the year when nearly 1,000 red dress-clad Kate fans descend on the town to celebrate the singer. 5 5 5 Called The Most Wuthering Heights Day Ever, the unusual event has been running in the Kent town since 2023 and kicks off at midday today on the harbour front. It's certainly a sight to behold — men and women throwing their arms in the air, dancing to the famous Wuthering Heights song. But even non- Kate Bush fans will find themselves being swayed into the joy of Folkestone, with or without the bold outfits. Launching today is the Folkestone Triennial, a huge open-air art exhibition that takes place every three years. It features 70 pieces of artwork, including works by Tracy Emin, Banksy and Antony Gormley. Chased by oysters One of my favourite spots is the beautiful Lighthouse Bar inside a former lighthouse. Look up and you will see 'Weather is a Third to Place and Time,' painted on the side, a leftover piece from the 2014 Triennial. Look even further and you might glimpse France. It's not a place for sitting indoors — there are barely more than a couple of tables. Instead grab one of the benches lining the harbour. Martin Lewis warns about strict passport rule that could see you board your flight - only to get sent home on arrival There is no better feeling than having the sea breeze blow past, and watching errant paddleboarders while sipping a glass of champagne chased by oysters. I'm surrounded by city dwellers (dubbed DFLers — Down From Londoners) who are all exclaiming how surprised they are by the town. Lighthouse Bar owner Simon explained to me: 'We were told we were mad to open in Folkestone ten years ago — now look at us.' Folkestone is certainly becoming one of those places being mentioned as the 'next big thing'. Often aligned with other Kent seaside destinations Whitstable and Margate, the train from the capital in less than an hour makes it an easy day-trip destination. Most tourists will flock straight to the Harbour Arm, which is celebrating its tenth anniversary this year. Lined with shipping containers serving food and drink, every summer there are new additions to the complex. My favourite new stall this year is The Mompling House, serving Nepalese snacks with juicy steamed momo dumplings and aloo chops, a spiced potato croquette. Folkestone isn't short of fantastic restaurants either. There's the award-winning Rocksalt, serving up fresh seafood while overlooking the harbour. Or new this year is Pomus, a restaurant that opened earlier this month after success in Margate. But my favourite spot is Marley's, an unassuming place from the outside that offers a small, farm-to-table menu inside (be sure to try the zesty pan-fried sea bass). 5 5 It's one you'll need to make reservations for, as it is always full of locals, but it's one that's worth the wait. You can barely turn a corner without spotting a bar here. I inadvertently ended up doing my own drinks crawl, after being tempted inside many of them. Two must-visits are Burrito Buoy for their frozen margaritas, or The Beer Shop Folkestone, which serves up local craft beers. When the booze and food becomes too much, the best place for some respite is The London & Paris Hotel. First opened in 1853 to cater for travellers heading across the Channel, it fell into disrepair before a multi-million-pound renovation in 2023 saw it reopen as an 11-room hotel. Each of the rooms has a sea view, all with modern coastal chic decor — think blue striped walls and floral patterned pillows. It felt like my head barely touched the pillow of my extremely plush king-size bed before I was woken up to the sound of seagulls. A tap on the door heralds the arrival of breakfast, a cute hamper with fresh croissants, juice and fruit And being so close to town, my early awakening also meant I was able to make the most of the peace and quiet before the crowds came in for the day. I filled my bag with souvenirs from the Creative Quarter, the famous multi-coloured, steep street peppered with locally run shops. But after all that eating and drinking, you won't see me Running Up That Hill.
Metro
3 days ago
- Climate
- Metro
Amber warning for torrential rain and thunder issued as UK hit by downpours
The UK has woken up to heavy rain and rumblings of thunder as the Met Office releases amber and yellow weather warnings. All of London, Brighton and parts of Cambridge have been issued an amber alert with forecasters fearing torrential rain and flooding. The warning is in place from 4am to 11am today, with 20-40mm of rain expected too fall in an hour, and up to 70-100mm accumulating in just a few hours. Meanwhile the majority of England is under a yellow warning for thunderstorms until 9pm today. The wet weather is expected to lead to disruption such as road closures and power cuts. Parts of Scotland, including Edinburgh and Aberdeen, has been issued a separate yellow warning for rain from 4pm today until 12pm tomorrow. Met Office Chief Meteorologist, Andy Page, said: 'Intense rainfall will impact parts of the UK as thunderstorms move in from France. 'A range of severe weather warnings have been issued, including an Amber warning covering southeast England and London. The intense rainfall could lead to surface water flooding as well as frequent lightning and hail too. 'The situation is evolving, and warnings may be changed or added. This weekend is expected to be busy on the roads as more schools in England and Wales break up for the summer holidays, so it's important people keep up-to-date with the very latest forecast. 'There will be spells of more pleasant weather in parts of the UK through the weekend, with some sunny spells in between systems as they move through.' The wet weather is expected to continue all weekend, with widespread showers forecast on Sunday. The last Amber warning issued over London was for wind on 2 January 2024 when Storm Henk brought very strong winds across central parts of England and Wales. Wales, Cornwall, Merseyside, Devon, Somerset, Dorset and the Scottish border are forecast to avoid the worst of the stormy weather. The wet weather comes just in time as regions across the UK declare drought and enter into hosepipe bans. So far, South East Water and Yorkshire Water hosepipe bans are in effect, while Thames Water and Southern Water's bans will begin next week. Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@ For more stories like this, check our news page. MORE: Banksy's manager reveals the central London building hiding his 'unseen' artwork MORE: Coward who murdered ex's 'gentle' dad in 'revenge' for break-up jailed for life MORE: 5 areas within commuting distance of London with prices under £400,000
Metro
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Metro
Banksy's manager reveals the central London building hiding his 'unseen' artwork
A girl holding a balloon, the House of Commons filled with chimpanzees and two police officers kissing. Banky's artworks are famous and adored across the world. But now his former manager and 'right-hand man' has revealed the street artist's pieces which the public know nothing about – including one in the heart of London. Steve Lazarides, who was Banksy's manager from 1997 to 2008, told Metro about an unknown treasure trove of graffiti in the Swiss Embassy. Asked whether there is a Banksy that no one has ever seen, Lazarides said: 'Yes, the Swiss Embassy car park. 'The old Swiss ambassador put on a rave in the car park. He invited Banksyand [graffiti artist] Chu. And they smashed it.' The party was held in 2001 by ambassador Bruno Spinner as part of a bid to shake-up their image. According to Lazarides, the car park – which is between Regent's Park and Hyde Park – houses '10 to 15′ separate Banksy artworks. These includes pictures of Lenin, the Mona Lisa, and monkeys. 'It was all a bit mad,' Lazarides said of the little-known event. That is not the only work by the Bristol artist which has gone unnoticed, with a show in the same year turning out to be a complete flop. Lazarides told Metro: 'We did an exhibition in Glasgow and nobody turned up. 'It show his graffiti and it got badly promoted.' The display at The Arches, which showcased his art alongside artist Jamie Reid, was called 'Peace Is Tough'. Furious at the no shows, Banksy had a daring response in mind. Lazarides explained: 'He went out the next day and he punished Glasgow.' The graffitist and left drawings 'everywhere' across the city. According to an unofficial website chronically Banksy, the exhibition featured images of monkeys firing pistols, a monkey imitating the Queen and more Mona Lisas. Lazarides spoke to Metro as he unveiled his collection of photographs and artwork, many from their time together, to collectors at an event hosted by the Grove Gallery. The pair, who are both from Bristol, met in the 1990s when Banksy was doing a feature for the magazine Sleazenation. Photographer Lazarides then took Banksy's portrait and a few weeks later got the call to photograph another piece by the now famous graffitist. The pair then worked together for a decade as Banksy's fame skyrocketed, with Lazarides snapping everything he did. The photographer has also told Metro about the moment Banksy was seconds away from being arrested and exposed by police, while spraying the word 'boring' onto the side of the National Theatre on the South Bank. Banky's art now sells for millions, but Lazarides said some of his stunts have also faded into oblivion. An example of this is actually one of his most audacious spectacles yet. In 2004, Banksy secretly planted a 20-foot statue in the middle of Clerkenwell Green in central London. The statue depicted the figure of justice as a prostitute with leather boots and a thong The work, called 'Our Lady of Justice' had a plinth which read: 'Trust no-one'. The photographer said despite the success of the event, it faded out of public memory. He explained: 'It was well attended, there were thousands of people. 'But then it just went away. No one ever really talks about it. It never caught people's imagination. More Trending 'But I thought it was one of his best things.' The secretive artist has called commercial success 'a mark of failure' and encouraged people not to buy his work. But with an estimated net worth of more than £15 million, according to MailOnline, Banksy must make his bucks somehow. And it's not from selling his most famous artworks found on outside walls. When those are up for auction, it's usually landlords and art dealers who take the profits. The artist's piece Love is in the Bin – which consists of his painting Girl with Balloon partially shredded – sold for £18.5 million at auction in 2021. Banksy instead makes money from selling prints of his iconic pieces, rather than the originals themselves. These range from unsigned, unnumbered pieces costing £400 to £800, to £40,000 or even £130,000 limited runs, according to Bristol-based artdealer Huw Lougher, industry publication Artspace reported. Celebrities like Christine Aguilera, Kate Moss and Bono have bought Banksypieces over the years. Just five years later, Jolie spent another £200,000 on a Banksy piece at his exhibition in Los Angeles, the Evening Standard reported. Such exhibitions, which have taken place from LA to London, are another key source of Banksy's income. Huge crowds flocked to his hometown for the Banksy v Bristol Museum show in 2009. Banksy's most recent artwork got far more attention. It featured a mural of a lighthouse shining with the words, 'I want to be what you saw in me' printed on it. Last summer, London went wild when Banksy unveiled nine animal-inspired works across the capital. Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@ For more stories like this, check our news page. MORE: Coward who murdered ex's 'gentle' dad in 'revenge' for break-up jailed for life MORE: 5 areas within commuting distance of London with prices under £400,000 MORE: Experts warn London to Berlin trains 'might not happen'
