11-05-2025
Many paths to becoming a mum: First Nations women reflect on Mother's Day
On a cold Alice Springs morning, Cherisse Buzzacott's kids are frolicking on the play equipment and running through the park. She's trying to encourage them to keep their jumpers on — but she knows it's futile.
"They are busy, rambunctious, but I wouldn't change it," she laughs.
WARNING: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander readers are advised that this article contains the name of a child who has died.
Cherisse's youngest, Angus, is now five, and she is also known as mum to her partner's twins — Douglas and Dylan — who she's raised since they were about four.
"They beautifully acknowledge that they have two mums."
But this picture is missing Senna — a child who came too early and died too soon after birth.
"I love to say her name, I love to speak about her memory," Cherisse said.
Senna was named after the legendary Formula One race car driver, but it also happens to be the name of a beautiful yellow flower.
"I love to share the story of how she was born and how she's been in our lives. And the boys love talking about it and acknowledge that they have a sister."
The Arrernte midwife recalls that in her 20s, before she became a mum, people would ask, "When is it your turn?"
She felt the weight of expectation as women around her would have multiple babies in the time she was trying for one.
Over eight years she would have four miscarriages — one while receiving an award on stage for being a midwife.
When baby Senna was born prematurely at 22 weeks, she died soon after.
"I was that person that was having grief and loss, but I was supporting some of the happiest times for people," she said.
"I always thought if I never have a baby, and this is my life, then this is what I do. I help other women have babies."
Now, watching Angus swinging on the monkey bars, she reflects on the hardships she's overcome and the happiness that lay on the other side.
"Having my son has just been everything that I imagined, but also so much better," she said.
"I've had all these experiences, and I've waited this long, and I finally got him."
Whadjuk Noongar journalist Narelda Jacobs now spends her mornings in Sydney with her eight-week-old baby Sanna strapped to her chest, walking around the neighbourhood to give her partner a break at home.
As the mum of a 30-year-old, Narelda always thought she would have more kids, but the opportunity never presented itself — until now.
Narelda is on day duty while her wife Karina, who has been up and down all night feeding, sleeps.
"While Karina is the one that gave birth and is breastfeeding, everything we do, we're doing together."
Narelda first became a mum at 19 years old with her daughter Jade. The pregnancy wasn't planned, and she says she still had so much to learn about the world.
"I had fallen pregnant out of wedlock … It was a shotgun wedding when I married Jade's dad, there was also some shame associated with being pregnant."
The marriage only lasted a few months, and she found herself a single mum.
"Jade is loved an enormous amount. It didn't impact the amount of the love I have for her, it is just very different experiences now and you can't compare them."
All these years later Narelda has forged a successful television career, and after marrying Karina last year, she said there is no shortage of love this time around either.
"Everyone should have two mums," Narelda laughs.
"There are two mums changing a nappy, there are two mums getting a new outfit, there are two mums bathing the baby … How lucky is this kid?"
Sanna is named after Finland's youngest ever prime minister, Sanna Marin. Narelda said the former leader was everything they aspire their daughter to be.
"We've just really loved watching her be more observant and more aware of the world around her," Narelda gushed.
But when they announced Sanna's birth on social media, Narelda said the nasty comments outnumbered the good ones.
"People are often surprised when they learn that homophobia exists.
"How great for you that you don't ever have to experience homophobia but for us it's an everyday thing online."
The pair decided to create what they've called a "satirical picture book for adults". Titled 'If Queers Weren't Meant to Have Kids', it's due to be released later this year.
"We hope that it will challenge people's thinking around rainbow families and how they're created, and the importance of including them."
In turn, they hope by normalising their family, their child will have fewer questions to answer from other kids at day care.
With extended families interstate, Narelda says it's their "chosen family" who will rally around with support and are "dying to babysit".
"It's like a ready-made village."
Cherisse's five-year-old describes Mother's Day as "about love and kind" — a precious insight from a boy who rules the roost in their house.
Cherisse and her boys will celebrate the day with kangaroo tail cooked over a fire and will sing songs as the embers burn.
Mother's Day is always "bittersweet" for Cherisse, and each year they make a trip to Senna's grave to place toys and trinkets.
"Although I have three amazing sons, I don't have my daughter here with me.
"I'm still able to get up and celebrate, and not kind of sit in sadness, but it is more about that memory and reflection and just talking about it, that, you know, she did exist."
She explained that not everyone would do what she does, and that culturally just speaking her name wasn't always accepted, but this is right for her.
The midwife, who now works in health advocacy, encourages anyone who has gone through loss and grief to find their own personal way of healing.
"If you are a mum and you've experienced loss, you know loss of your own mum, loss of a baby, loss of a pregnancy, miscarriage, I feel like it's your choice to choose how you spend Mother's Day," the midwife said.
"It's not up to other people to determine."
Narelda Jacobs said her focus will be on ensuring her wife Karina has a great first Mother's Day, but she doesn't expect they will be able to leave the house for long.
"She has done an exceptional job from throughout pregnancy and with the birth experience and now catering for every need of the little one, it's just been a joy to watch, and she does it with loving eyes and just a reassuring voice constantly."
Mother's Day is one day where Narelda says the value of the unpaid and under-recognised work mums do can be celebrated.
"I'm looking at the blessing that it is to be a mum, to bring to life a new creation."
After 25 years as a journalist and presenter on Network 10, Narelda has taken the year off to be present and try to "slow down".
"It's really nice to be reminded that this is a really precious time, the most precious of times.
"You're allowed to press pause and just be here for your baby."
