8 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Herald Scotland
So why is Rod Stewart in the huff with The Donald?
The warm friendship between the two bottle blonds (allegedly) is strained, possibly beyond repair.
Apparently Rod is disappointed at the way Donald treats women.
It's understandable that this is the reason for the rift, because Rod is, of course, a noted feminist activist. The lyrics to his classic disco hit, Hot Legs, become a foundational text for second-wave feminists. Inspired by the writings of Simone de Beauvoir, the song's lasting influence is reflected in the work of later campaigners, including Gloria Steinem and Susan Sontag.
Even though Rod has an impeccable pedigree in promoting women's rights, the Diary is suspicious that there just might be another reason for his falling out with Trump.
Rod is an esteemed figure in the world of model railway enthusiasts, being the proud owner of an impressive choo-choo set.
Is it not possible that Trump, the avaricious property developer, used underhand means to purchase several of the little buildings that run alongside Rodney's teeny-tiny train track?
Never wedge yourself between a boy and his toy, that surely is the motto that Mr Stewart lives by.
Meanwhile, the Diary also has a motto… entertain our readers.
And we never stray from this maxim, as you'll discover while reading the following classic yarns from our archives…
Bottling it
We were told of a Scottish minister who was not averse to taking a dram while on home visitations.
In fact, his nickname was The Exorcist, because after his visit there were no spirits left in the house.
Driven to distraction
More from the religious world.
From the isle of Islay we received a report of another minister who got himself a new car.
It was a French motor, a Citroen Temptation, which not a few of the locals considered a risqué little number for the minister.
Puzzled pet
A lady of the Diary's acquaintance decided to buy a new overcoat for her wee dug.
She was trying to describe the size of her mutt when the woman in the pet shop suggested she bring the dog in, so the coat could be properly fitted.
'Oh no, I couldn't do that,' the lady replied. 'It's a surprise for his birthday.'
Maths for beginners
The wisdom of weans.
A teacher took the class for an excursion in the countryside. The plan was to insinuate a bit of learning into the experience.
Attempting to test one child's arithmetic, the teacher pointed to the field and asked: 'How many cows can you see?'
'All of them,' the pupil replied.
Bird-brained badinage
A reader once got in touch to tell us a tale regarding mankind's feathered friends…
Two ducks are flying over Belfast.
One says: 'Quack! Quack!'
The other duck can only reply: 'I'm going as quack as I can.'
