07-06-2025
This 'hidden gem' children's attraction was the best I've ever seen
AS wonderful an experience as parenting, or indeed childminding is, it is a fact that keeping the little ones entertained without handing them a remote control and access to a electronic screen can be a challenge.
Having a six-year-old son, and occasionally entertaining a three-year old niece, I have trawled around most of the 'children's attractions' in my native North Yorkshire and the northeast, to mixed results.
Cumbria, I have found, is much more well-catered for, probably thanks to its steady stream of tourists, and has a variety of days out for families, particularly during good weather.
But nothing could prepare me for what was in store at what I thought to be an obscure little farm attraction on the outskirts of Dumfries.
I'd received glowing reviews about Dalscone Farm Fun by my sister-in-law, who'd travelled there with her daughter (my niece) from their holiday caravan at Annan, and so last weekend, agreed to bring my son over and we would all go together.
Around 45 minutes by car from Carlisle, I can say that it is without doubt the best, most well-equipped venue I have ever been to in terms of keeping not only kids entertained, but grown-ups too.
Approaching the park, the entrance is unassuming, just a sign that could have adorned any small soft-play centre, and a turning into a small courtyard.
Pre-booking is required, which can be done via the website.
To enter the park, prices are £15.20 per person for anybody three years old or over, with concessions available. One and two-year-olds enter for £10.48, while babies (under one) are free.
We didn't go for any of the extra animal feeding or encounter experiences so I can't comment on these.
So we were issued with our wristbands, and through the magic doors we went, straight into the main indoor section of the park.
Immediately on our left was a huge soft play area, with an extensive and busy seating area next to a food counter, which we shall come to later.
On our right was an area for the kids to jump on one of the pedal tractors or other vehicles and tear around a mock-farm area.
Next to that was a bumper car track with electric toy motorbikes and racing cars – none of which went at a speed to panic the most nervous parent, but which the kids seemed to love nonetheless.
Worth mentioning is that a few of the rides and games (like the electric bumper cars), require the purchase of tokens from a machine – seven for £10 if memory serves, which can be paid for by card, but as any parent will be aware, these can disappear fairly quickly during the day.
So, this was a good start, and it took us around half an hour to even get to the doors leading to the truly fantastic outdoor play area of the park.
An aerial view of Dalscone Farm Fun (Image: Dalscone Farm Fun) I was a child once, apparently, and one of my abiding memories of said childhood is the sheer thrill of catching that first glimpse of the now sadly defunct Metroland.
Seeing Dalscone Farm Fun brought back memories of that golden day as the kids eyes widened before tearing off like a pair of All-Blacks pursuing a Frenchman.
Thankfully, though a tad windy, the weather held off and we saw a huge climbing frame play area with slides, an enclosed small football pitch, a picnic area, even a kind of swimming pool with 'bumper-boats', which were operational once an hour.
There was a racetrack where the kids could jump on pedal go-karts and work off some energy.
Past that was a really well-laid out mini-golf area, and a series of amazing slides – one of which involved coming down on a wooden toboggan, another, my favourite one (never mind the kids), was sitting in a rubber ring and being flung down a wide slope.
There was also a pair of trampoline areas, one for under-6s, which seemed to be popular.
What struck me is that there were no queues for anything. Everything here was clean, seemed fairly new, completely safe, and well laid-out.
Tearing the children away from this smorgasbord of fun was a challenge as we wanted to try the café.
I didn't expect fine dining, and didn't get it, but it was pretty spot on for the audience it catered for.
A wide selection of food, drinks and cakes for kids and adults, every meal cost between £5 and £10, so didn't break the bank. My ham and cheese toastie was rather pleasant, and my son found the hot dog fitted his high culinary standards.
Despite how busy it was, service was quick, and members of staff were constantly patrolling with sweeping brushes and cloths to keep the area as clean as it can be in the organised chaos.
So, a thumbs up for the café – I understand that you can bring your own food to sit in the outside picnic areas if you wish, but I'd settle for the Dalscone Diner for convenience.
The kids loved the soft play area, which was extensive – again, clean, well-maintained, and seemingly lacking the feral youths that seem to terrorise most soft play centres. A good hour passed before we finally persuaded the children that it would be fun to go to 'see the animals'.
The animal enclosures are at the top of the park, the first one containing a series of enclosures housing goats, including many adorable baby goats, to pet or feed with the pellets provided (to pay for by the tub).
The goats were extremely friendly (Image: Daren Shield) A meerkat enclosure was down some more steps, and a couple of indoor sections housed a selection of tortoises, marmosets, chameleons and countless more creatures.
And then just like that, six hours had passed, and it was time to stealthily usher the children closer to the exit, stopping at each ride on the way back to the car.
With much whining and a few tears, we eventually made it.
Whether anything is worth the money one pays for it is always subjective, but in this case, it was a no-brainer.
I can affirm that Dalscone Farm Fun is the best play venue for children that I have ever been to. Well, as an adult anyway.
It doesn't rely on technology or special effects, just good, traditional, impeccably delivered fun, and a meticulous attention to detail and cleanliness.
Staff were friendly and ever-present, but not overbearing. I can't say that this is a consistent feature, or by design, but it never felt too crowded, despite being busy.
The sheer number of activities and the layout gave a natural flow and children were always happy to move on to the next thing, and revisit later.
You could easily spend more than one full day in here and never got bored (your kids certainly won't anyway).
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Even on a rainy day, though the outdoor rides wouldn't be as accessible, the soft play is as good as I've seen anywhere, with a few extra rides under cover too.
Another big plus point is that as a 'grown-up', I find that we're often there just as guardians, as the kids are running round, but at Dalscone, we were getting involved as much as the children.
It made for a perfect family day out.
I went on a bumper car, drove one of the spinning boats, went down the slides, fed the baby goats, and it was fantastic.
I may be wrong, but it felt like a bit of a hidden gem. I'd certainly never heard of it, but if you can manage the short trip over the border to Dumfries, you will not regret it – and if you really want to fit in, take your kids with you.
