Latest news with #DanielGoleman
Forbes
6 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
Under The Influence: Two Factors That Affect Financial Decisions
You shouldn't make any significant financial decisions until you understand your relationship with money or your Money Why. Rather than telling my clients what financial decisions they need to make, I help them identify why they're not already making them. That's a big difference. It's the same with weight loss. It's not enough to be told you need to drop pounds; you must identify your relationship with food—in other words, why you're not losing weight. The problem isn't what you're eating; it's why you're eating it. Likewise, the problem isn't what you're buying; it's why you're buying it. You won't make any significant financial progress until you understand your relationship with money or your Money Why. This will explain why you do the things you do financially. To get started, let's explore the two biggest influences on our money personalities. Could something as small as an almond be driving your decisions? It sure can. Meet your amygdala. It's one of the oldest parts of the brain. Much older than the prefrontal cortex, which is the reasoning, planning, and decision-making part of the brain. The amygdala is where our primitive fight-or-flight response resides. The fight-or-flight response is very useful. In fact, your amygdala is why you're alive today. If your ancestors hadn't had one, they'd have been squashed by a woolly mammoth. When a mammoth is stampeding toward you, you don't have time to think. You just need to react (i.e., run like crazy!). The amygdala kicks in automatically, and all the physiological reactions that follow (adrenaline rush, increased heart rate…) are designed to help you survive. While the amygdala is best known for sending distress signals, it's also involved in reward processing and releasing dopamine, the feel-good hormone. You're in a store, or you're online, and you see something you like. It's very expensive. You know you can't afford it. But you buy it. In situations like this, it's your amygdala that's controlling you. You've been hijacked. Daniel Goleman coined the term 'amygdala hijack' in his book Emotional Intelligence. It can be triggered by stress, fear, anxiety, jealousy, guilt, anger, need…all sorts of things. Most people don't make financial decisions based on logic; they make them based on emotion. In fact, researchers have found that our 'thinking brain' (the pre-frontal cortex) is only responsible for five to 10 percent of our decision-making. The rest is handled by our 'feeling or reptilian brain,' the amygdala. So, that's the physiological part of financial decision-making. There is also a psychological part. This stems from the money environment in which you were raised. That doesn't mean if you are rich or poor. It means whether your parents discussed money openly, if they argued about it, how they made financial decisions, who paid the bills, etc. Chances are, you're the way you are financially because of the examples your parents set. I surveyed my clients, and 45 percent admitted to never hearing their parents talk about money. So, what do they go ahead and do in their relationship? They don't talk about money. Some don't come to see me until the eleventh hour when there's a health crisis, or they want to know if they have enough money to retire. For me, it's having enough money to purchase the things that create pleasure today while knowing that your financial future is safe. To achieve this, you must learn to recognize when your amygdala is getting hijacked (nature) and understand your money influences (nurture). Together, they make up your Money Why.
Independent Singapore
20-05-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
8 soft skills that can make you rich — for life
When discussing wealth, what usually comes to mind is money, status, or material success. However, a few of life's most potent possessions can't be placed inside a bank account. These soft skills shape how we interrelate, lead, develop, and succeed. Whether one is a student, a budding artist, an emerging professional, or an entrepreneur pursuing an audacious idea, these abilities are an enduring investment. With relevant illustrations, common slipups to dodge, and first-rate learning resources, these 'tools' can benefit one's vocation, boost confidence, strengthen relationships, and impact the world. Emotional Intelligence: The Glue That Connects Us Why it matters : Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is our capacity to distinguish, grasp, and manage emotions—our own and others. It's the basis of durable relationships, unswerving trust, and never-ending teamwork. Where people stumble : Sidestepping tough discussions or countering thoughtlessly can wear away trust quicker than we think. How to build it : Read: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Watch: Susan David's TED Talk, 'The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage' Learn: LinkedIn Learning's Emotional Intelligence at Work course Communication: More Than Words Why it matters : Effective communicators don't just express their thoughts and feelings well; they also connect. They listen enthusiastically, articulate concepts emphatically, and pay special attention to body language and attitude. Where people stumble : Intruding, using nonsensical or high-falutin words, or inability to detect non-verbal signals can produce detachment rather than connection. How to build it : Read: Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny & team Watch: Brené Brown's 'The Power of Vulnerability' Learn: Coursera's Effective Communication course Critical Thinking: Your Inner Compass Why it matters : In a world swamped with dogmatic views and half-truths, critical thinking assists in sifting the noise, asking intelligent questions, and making informed decisions and astute choices. Where people stumble : Carelessly making decisions or clinging to prejudices, as this clouds one's outlook. How to build it : Read: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Watch: Helen Lee Bouygues' TED Talk, 'Critical Thinking for Better Judgment' Learn: edX's Critical Thinking Skills course Negotiation: Win-Win or Lose-Lose Why it matters : Negotiation is part of all of life's activities. Whether one is seeking a raise in salary, forming a partnership, compromising with a friend, or wanting to meet a spouse halfway, negotiation is present. Strong negotiators pursue a shared advantage, not just victory. Where people stumble : Being aggressive and adversarial, rushing the process, or making it personal can disrupt trust. How to build it : Read: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Watch: William Ury's 'The Walk from No to Yes' Learn: Coursera's Negotiation Skills course Adaptability: Your Edge in a Changing World Why it matters : Change is the only thing that doesn't change. Flexible people stay diplomatic and non-violent, are inquisitive, and focus on solutions when plans are drastically modified or challenges arise. Where people stumble : Accusing others or fighting change interrupts growth, and occasionally ruins it entirely. How to build it : Read: Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson Watch: Guy Kawasaki's 'The Art of Innovation' Learn: Udemy's Adaptability and Resilience course Leadership: Influence Starts with Integrity Why it matters : Leadership is never about titles—it's about compelling acts, compassion, responsiveness, and accountability. The finest leaders encourage and lead by example. Where people stumble : Nitpicking, imposing controls, evading tough decisions, or playing favorites diminishes trust and drive. How to build it : Read: Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek Watch: Sinek's TED Talk, 'How Great Leaders Inspire Action' Learn: Harvard Online's Leadership Principles course Time Management: Mastering the Clock Why it matters : Time is the most limited resource. Those who manage their time well get more things done with less anxiety, more purpose, and with more meaning. Where people stumble : Stalling, postponements, deliberate delays, too much multitasking, or poor planning result in exhaustion and pressure. See also Wendy Jacobs and 200 others become Singaporean citizens How to build it : Read: Getting Things Done by David Allen Watch: Laura Vanderkam's 'How to Gain Control of Your Free Time' Learn: LinkedIn Learning's Time Management Mastery course Creativity: Your Superpower for Solving the Unsolvable Why it matters : Creativity pushes invention, problem-solving, and advancement in every turf, not just the arts. It's about changing direction, shifting courses when necessary, doing what's doable, and making the impossible possible. Where people stumble : Dread of failure or sticking to obsolete systems and approaches can stifle one's imaginative trigger. How to build it : Read: Creative Confidence by Tom & David Kelley Watch: Ken Robinson's 'Do Schools Kill Creativity?' Learn: Coursera's Creative Problem Solving course Invest where it counts Diplomas and degrees, titles, certificates, and technical abilities open doors, but soft skills are what will keep these doors open forever. They don't just boost one's CV; they provide the 'buzz' of how you become in life. And like any valued asset, they develop and grow with reliable attention, effort, and determination. So, wherever you are on your journey, always remember — the cleverest investment you can make is investing in yourself.
