24-05-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
Men Are Calling Other Men to Say Good Night, and the Results Are Amazing
When DeAndre Scarborough, a 24-year-old content creator and college research coordinator, decided to call several of his male friends, and his brother, to wish them each a good night, he knew that they'd be thrown for a loop.
Lying in bed with his girlfriend around 11 p.m., Mr. Scarborough made a call, delivering the good night message to a friend who immediately responded with confusion and laughter, asking, 'You good?'
In between giggles, another friend, equally confused, said, 'Man you're calling the wrong number, these freak hours.'
Mr. Scarborough had seen the trend online and, after some nudging by his girlfriend, decided to upload his own video. He said what makes this trend 'twice as funny' as others is that it's so uncommon for men to talk to each other vulnerably.
'We're not really emotionally tapped in with each other, so for the most part if you say something like that, people immediately think the worst,' he said in a phone interview on Friday. 'So that's why the people that I called were like 'you good?,' because we don't really have those types of conversations, saying good night. The most you'll get is a 'yo, what's up.''
Phone calls out of the blue can be surprising for many people in 2025, let alone male friends. That is part of the magic behind the trend on Instagram and TikTok in which men call their friends to say good night. The videos have led to genuine confusion and surprise, and a lot of laughter. The simple act of watching a man expressing that he platonically cares about another man has fascinated social media users, with the videos stacking up thousands of views.
Kassadi Lavrinovich, a 25-year-old lawyer living in Knoxville, Tenn., likes to curate a saved folder on TikTok of videos for her husband, Michael Lavrinovich, who does not use the app. While scrolling through clips, they came across a few of the good night videos and he thought it would be great to try it with his friends.
'Good night baby, I love you,' his first friend responded in jest before genuinely asking if he was all right and if his wife was with him. Another asked if he was joking and shared that he couldn't remember the last time someone said good night to him.
'Was I just on your mind after a long day?' he continued.
'You're always on my mind,' Mr. Lavrinovich replied, holding back his laughter.
'I expected it to be hilarious, because my friends are hilarious, but I did not expect it to be as sweet as it was,' he said in a phone interview. 'I call my friends all the time, I have never called them to say good night, so the first friend, it was a very sweet moment when he asked if I was OK.'
Making up for the brevity in her husband's response, or in her words, 'selling it short,' Ms. Lavrinovich added that the calls led to deeper conversations and connections between her husband and his friends. One of them called Michael the next day to check in and share personal news about his relationship.
'The third friend, who said, like, 'Man I can't remember the last time someone called to tell me good night,' that's one of Michael's greatest friends,' she said. 'And so that sparked Michael to be like, 'Let's grab dinner this week, like we really need to hang out.' And so then they went on a date a couple of nights later, just the two of them.'
Given the rising reports of loneliness among men, it's not a surprise that there would be demand for these types of connections — even if the interactions begin as jokes. According to a 2021 survey of more than 2,000 adults in the United States by the Survey Center on American Life, nearly half of women and less than one-third of men said they had a private conversation with a friend where they shared their personal feelings within a week. And 40 percent of women reported receiving emotional support from a friend, compared with 21 percent of men.
'I think that's definitely a bridge that men should cross with one another,' Mr. Scarborough said. 'If it's not a good night, then it's just checking in and seeing how people are doing mentally.'
All of the men interviewed for this article said their female partners encouraged them to make the call. According to Carson Reimer, it became a funny way to show his new girlfriend of two weeks, Arianna Loggia, some insight into his close friendships, as many of them are long distance.
In the days since he recorded his clip, Mr. Reimer, who is a private chef in the Hamptons, has been planning a trip to see one of the men he called.
'He recently opened a restaurant in Seattle and he's one of my longtime chef friends and he's doing great up in the Northwest,' Mr. Reimer said in a phone interview.
Ms. Loggia, a 31-year-old health tech worker in San Diego, said she loved hearing her partner and his friends show appreciation for one another.
'I think that who you surround yourself with really says a lot about you and how you carry yourself,' she said. 'So for me, that's important for my partner to be surrounded by people who really lift him up and support him.'
