12 hours ago
A tribute to Neil, Auckland's legendary singing train manager
For years, a train manager has been brightening the lives of Auckland's commuters with his intercom melodies. Hayden Donnell honours Neil, patron saint of the Western Line.
Steph Dickinson-Cole was tired and frazzled on her way home from work when she heard the familiar bing of the train intercom. 'This is your train manager, Neil,' sounded a friendly voice. He went through some of the usual spiel. Stay safe at all times. Please keep clear of the closing doors. Then the singing started. It was to the tune of 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town', but the lyrics had been altered. 'AT wants to give you the best,' Neil warbled over the chorus refrain. When he was done, he wished his 'dear friends' a great evening. 'Honestly, it felt like the sky was way more blue,' says Dickinson-Cole. 'It was like the train was just, like, way lighter.'
Dickinson-Cole's story is one of many. Across the years, Neil has shone a ray of metaphorical light into what would otherwise be the enveloping dark of thousands of Auckland commutes. His appearances are a surprise. We know Neil is usually on the Western Line. He seems to work more often during the evening rush hour. He appears to be an older Indian gentleman. But there's no way of guaranteeing an encounter. Some say it only happens when you need it most.
The most reliable and well-documented fact about Neil is that he's a bonafide Kiwi legend. A horde of people have written into The Spinoff to describe being rescued from the pits of commuter despair by their singing train manager. 'Encountered multiple occasions of Neil on the evening commute from Britomart to Papakura last year,' said Kat. 'This amazing person would make an announcement on the train while singing his own rendition of a song and being happy, smiling and positive. He certainly puts a smile on your face after a busy day at work.'
Many correspondents were particularly moved by a creative flurry from Neil in the lead-up to Christmas. Just like Dickinson-Cole, they described their evenings being turned around by Santa Claus coming to town aboard an AT train service. Michael remembered another version of the song. 'Something along the lines of 'Auckland Transport is taking you to town'. Lots of startled eyes up and near-smiles amongst the commuters,' he said, adding a familiar refrain. 'More power to him I say, some light in the AT train reliability issues darkness.'
Neil also turned his voice to other carols. Logan recalled a rendition of 'Feliz Navidad' days before the holidays. Anthony was moved by a rendition of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'.
Though he peaks in December, Neil is a year-round phenomenon. Dickinson-Cole recently recorded him singing to the tune of 'You've Got a Friend' by James Taylor. 'You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running… to see you. Neil is your train manager,' he crooned.
Others sent recordings of Neil piercing the rush hour doldrums with classic rock and soul. Rebekah captured an augmented rendition of Creedence Clearwater Revival's 'Proud Mary' on the southern line. 'Proud AT keeps on going. Rolling down the tracks…' he sang, before trailing off into an existential PSA. 'To Papakura and back, and that's how it will always be. Thank you dear friends.' Sophie captured a similar performance on the Western Line to Swanson.
These encounters have been going on for years. 'In the shitshow that is AT, there is one shiny golden light at the end of the tunnel. This bundle of joy is Neil who is often the train manager on the Western Line heading into the city,' reads a three-year-old Reddit post from a passenger who'd just been treated to a public transport-themed performance of 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'. 'Hi AT, I'd like to report our train manager for going thru carriage saying 'have a great evening' + making me think life is ok',' wrote Spinoff twerp Hayden Donnell on Twitter nine years ago.
In all of this, Neil has never been recognised for his services to commuters. That's apparently by choice. Both AT and Neil's employer, Auckland One Rail, said he usually refuses interview requests. 'He is very humble!' explained an email from AOR's communications manager.
He shouldn't be. The King's Birthday honours were just announced. Alongside genuine heroes like Suzy Cato and Dai Henwood are the usual gaggle of businessmen and former politicians getting recognised by King Charles for their services to having lots of money and knowing people from the government. Most of them haven't brought half the joy to the world in their entire lives that Neil does on a single afternoon service from Papakura to Britomart.
It's time to right that wrong. Though the Crown may not see it as more valuable than shepherding through New Zealand's most punitive beneficiary crackdown or starting a knockoff Tupperware company, bringing cheer to thousands of punishing commutes is worthy of recognition. So arise, Sir Neil, The Spinoff names you knight of the six-carriage service, defender of the evening train. As Bette Midler once sang: 'Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I would like to be / I can go all the way to Swanson / For you are the wind beneath my tracks'. Thank you dear friend, and have a wonderful day. Stand clear of the closing doors.
