23-05-2025
5 Signs You Met the Right Person at the Wrong Time, According to a Psychologist
So you met the person of your dreams…you think. Maybe you just met after chatting on Hinge and realized you share the same values. Maybe your friends love them too, and you can't get over their corny jokes. Regardless, you think you may have found 'the one'—except something seems off. Whether in their case or yours, you begin to wonder if now isn't the right time for you two to be together. Maybe they don't want what you want, at least right now. Whatever the case may be, you think you've met the right person at the wrong time. But how do you know for sure? Let's get a clearer picture from a
First, you may be wondering, on an existential level, why this sort of thing happens. Romances that seem 'half-perfect' in this way can be, well, wholly discouraging. Whether you're into astrology, manifestation or are just curious, read on. Related: How Each Zodiac Sign Attracts Their Soulmate'This might be one of the great mysteries of life,' says Dr. Golee Abrishami, PhD, the head of clinical care at Octave. 'Optimistically, these situations are incredible learning experiences.'
For example, you might learn you need more commitment than you thought. Or maybe you finally have hope that good people are out there. These are only a couple of many examples. In reality, you have to figure out what the lesson is for you.
You may feel very drawn to the other person, Dr. Abrishami says. You two may like to spend a lot of time together, miss each other when you're apart or have a lot in common. But unfortunately, spending time with that person and growing your relationship is easier said than done. Various obstacles may get in the way. 'There are logistical barriers that prevent you from seeing each other, like timing, geographic location or schedules that don't match up,' Dr. Abrishami explains.
While age-gap relationships can work, they have a unique set of challenges. 'You are at different phases in your life—therefore, you have different priorities, which are in conflict,' Dr. Abrishami could look like one partner preferring free time for going out with friends while the other wants to build a family and stay in, or many other situations. Related: What Is a May-December Romance, and Can You Make It Work?
If you say or hear phrases like 'I have a lot going on in my life, and I can't make time for another relationship' or 'I don't do feelings,' you could be seeing signs of emotional unavailability. Sometimes, people get into meaningful relationships before they're ready, like in the case of a person who wants a long-term relationship but is still struggling with a previous breakup. 'This can be due to varying instances, including different places of emotional development and unresolved issues that impact the level of emotional availability for the relationship,' Dr. Abrishami explains.
To some degree, we all bring our past baggage into our new relationships. Sometimes, that baggage can impact our dating experience. For example, there's a difference between someone who wants their ex back and someone who needs extra words of affirmation after dealing with a toxic partner.'There could be unresolved issues with a previous relationship that do not give the potential new relationship space to grow and evolve,' Dr. Abrishami says.
Many of us have been here, right? One partner is looking for something casual, while the other hopes for a more serious, committed relationship. Neither person can (or should have to) budge. This misalignment is another sign Dr. Abrishami Huh? What Does a 'Situationship' Actually Mean?
First and foremost, know you're not alone if you're going through this. 'Many people have struggled with the confusing feeling that you met the right person at the wrong time,' Dr. Abrishami says. Then, try one of the general coping skills she suggests below.
Maybe you're in that stage where you're not 100 percent sure it's the 'wrong time,' so you want to keep assessing the relationship. This tool may come in handy. 'Advocate for yourself by being open and honest about your needs and what you are or are not able to contribute at this time in the relationship,' Dr. Abrishami says. For example, you say you can give a certain amount of time to your partner and want the same from them. Thinking through that for yourself, then communicating it to the other person, is a crucial
Can any of the roadblocks be worked through? Do you want to try to work through them? These questions can be helpful too. 'It's possible that if this relationship is important enough to you, you can resolve some of the issues getting in the way,' Dr. Abrishami says.
When you feel you've met 'your person,' it's understandable you may try to rush into things and make the relationship work when it's just not going to. Dr. Abrishami advises against this. 'If it's meant to be, time is on your side and you can make the relationship work when the time is right,' she
Maybe you two don't work as a romantic pair at the moment, but you can still manage to be friends. Dr. Abrishami says this can be valuable because it maintains the connection and gives you another support make sure you both clarify what is and isn't okay with you. 'While maintaining a friendship may be helpful, you need to protect your heart and make sure that you're not just hurting yourself more by staying in touch,' she explains. 'Try to avoid leading someone on—or even leading yourself on.'
Regardless of what you're struggling with, talking it out with a therapist is pretty much always a good idea. Dr. Abrishami says a therapist can help you address relationship concerns, identify relationship patterns, help you resolve previous issues, evaluate your emotional availability and more. They can also help you cope if, yes, the person is right for you, but you met them at the wrong time.
Up Next:Dr. Golee Abrishami, PhD, the head of clinical care at Octave
5 Signs You Met the Right Person at the Wrong Time, According to a Psychologist first appeared on Parade on May 22, 2025
