10 hours ago
My skin smelt like burnt bacon during £2k celeb laser treatment – I'm glowing but there was stomach-churning side effect
THANKS to the wonders of Instagram, 'The Cloud' and Facebook, I am constantly reminded how wonderful life was back when I had collagen.
And how (relatively) wonderful I looked when I had collagen: banks and banks of the stuff giving my young, happy little face that unmistakable glow of youth.
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Thanks to two decades of sunbathing (and a few sunbeds), that collagen has depleted quicker than you can say 'pigmentation' – which I also had a lot of.
And this despite a recent facelift which, while undoubtedly brilliant at successfully halting the tide of ageing disintegration, did not address the actual texture or quality of my skin.
Enough was enough.
So, like all good millennials, I took to Dr Google... and promptly booked in for a CO2 laser, a treatment popular with celebs including Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow.
In LA, the home of good skincare, facelifts and CO2 facelifts are synonymous – surgeons regularly book their clients for laser treatments as part of the aftercare package, such is the possible transformation.
Some of the results looked mildly terrifying – people with peeling faces, scabs oozing pus and flaking skin.
Unwilling to leave my skin to fate, or the hands of a dentist-turned- Botoxer, I booked in at London 's exclusive Harley Street Injectables.
Clinic boss Alice Henshaw – who actually works with the surgeon who did my face, Dr Paul Tulley in London's Harley Street – had contacted me previously after reading about my op. (Yep, tweakments aren't my first rodeo).
She is a highly rated aesthetician to many celebs and a whole raft of influencers, who regularly live Instagram from her clinic.
Walking into the uber-plush clinic – it felt more Soho Farmhouse than an aesthetic practice (although both serve little pricks) – I was greeted by Stevie, an aesthetic nurse, who would be CO2-ing me.
Clemmie Moodie Facelift Journey
After being numbed for 30 minutes with anaesthetic cream – quite simply, the pain would be intolerable without it – she goes through my skin concerns.
'This is genuinely one of the best treatments out there,' Stevie reassures me.
'It's amazing for acne scarring, sun damage and for boosting collagen production to give the skin a plumper, more youthful glow. You're going to really see a difference.
'It's an ablative laser which causes controlled damage to the upper layers of the skin, stimulating the skin's natural healing process and helping produce new collagen.
'We're going to go for quite an aggressive setting today to maximise results.'
Next thing I know I'm horizontal, with a machine blasting a burst of hot pulsing light on my skin. Seconds later, there's a waft of burning.
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'What's that smell?' I ask, my thoughts briefly turning to what I'll have for dinner.
'Oh yes, that's your skin,' Stevie replies, casually, as I inhale a whiff of bacon.
Having never had a laser treatment before, I really don't know what to expect.
The following day I look like I've swallowed a football, and my face is beetroot red
It feels like an elastic band is being pulled taut and then snapped on my face, hard, and repeatedly.
It's fine on my forehead, but REALLY hurts on my upper lip. My eyes start watering and I'm trying – and failing – to look sanguine as cameraman Ben blithely zooms in on my increasingly red face.
The sensitive neck area also smarts a bit – a solid 7.2/10 for pain (10 being 'give me a gun now', 0 being a nice massage at Soho Farmhouse) – but Stevie counts down throughout, reassuring me I'm doing 'great'.
(TBH all I'm doing is lying still, but it's sweet and I am determined not to swear.)
'F***!!!' I promptly scream as she goes in beneath my eyes.
For this, I am given two in-eye lenses to prevent any radiation from getting through. Ben is also given dark glasses to stop any radiation 'bounce', too.
'Not for the faint-hearted'
Thankfully, within 20 minutes, it's all over.
I'm red, but won't scare small children on the Tube home.
Alice packs me off with a bespoke aftercare kit – an ice pack, her own range of Factor 100 sun cream, 5DHA hyaluronic acid serum, a lux moisturiser and some Skincycles bio-cellulose sheet face masks to help with hydration.
I am told to avoid all sunshine for the next couple of weeks, which comes in handy for the start of the spring heatwave the following day.
I look certifiably insane walking the dog in a polo neck, sunglasses and a Ted Lasso visor – the only hat I could find – in the blazing sunshine.
The following day I look like I've swallowed a football, and my face is beetroot red.
I cancel lunch with friends.
Happily, my skin doesn't blister and there are no signs of pus. (Google Love Island 's Alexandra Crane 's CO2 experience if you're not eating.)
From here, the redness begins to fade and I am just left with weird-looking 'grids' across my face. My skin feels like sandpaper.
Day by day though, I start to see results.
After three weeks, people start complimenting me on my 'glow'
One week later, my pigmentation is significantly reduced – with the full effects seen in 12 weeks time – and my skin looks so, so much softer, plumper and, well, like it used to in my iPad memories circa 2017.
There are fewer fine lines around my eyes and I am thrilled.
After three weeks, people start complimenting me on my 'glow' and I even get away with not wearing any make-up to work. It's a joy.
This non-invasive treatment, costing £2,000, isn't for the faint-hearted. But, well, it works.
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