31-03-2025
Embrace Authenticity To Reach Personal And Professional Fulfillment
Clare Miller, EVP, Chief Human Resources Officer at Atlantic Union Bank.
In our culture, success is often measured by arbitrary benchmarks like our income, where we live and how we look. Because we're constantly faced with these pressures, it's difficult to separate what we really want from what we're told we should want.
In 2023, Hays' annual Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Report found that 37% of people surveyed felt the need to hide aspects of themselves in the workplace. Oftentimes, this fear of judgment creates job dissatisfaction, leading to a decline in employees' well-being. It's no wonder, then, that trying to achieve authenticity can seem like a daunting journey. What does it mean to truly be yourself, and why does it matter?
Authenticity isn't just a buzzword. It's a force that shapes our lives and, as a result, our workplaces. Embracing our true selves can unlock our creativity and foster an environment of transparency, trust and respect. But the journey to authenticity requires the courage to defy societal norms and the resilience to stay true to our values.
When I was 8, I moved to the United States from the United Kingdom. At the time, I believed likeability equaled success. So I began adopting behaviors that might make me more popular, like wearing jeans instead of the skirts I preferred. The more I received praise, the more I started to connect being likable with being worthy.
Pretending to be someone else is an exhausting endeavor, but it's also a hard habit to break. It took many years to realize it was okay to be myself and forge my own path to success. For example, I'm passionate about speaking engagements that empower and educate women. So prioritizing and discerning those types of events—which meant saying "No" to anything that didn't align with this value—became increasingly important. Now, living authentically comes naturally.
Embracing my true self has made me more approachable, accessible and empathetic—all critical attributes for a leader. Once you realize that, it's easier to connect with your true self and unlock your full potential.
So how can you navigate the path to authenticity? And as a leader, how do you invite others to do the same? Here are some strategies I use:
The practice of self-reflection—examining your thoughts, emotions and behaviors—is key to embracing your authentic self. It helps you understand why you feel the way you do about certain things. With that knowledge, you can act in alignment with your values rather than conform to what others expect.
At the beginning of each year, I use a 'Start, Stop, Continue' exercise to reflect on the last 12 months. I consider what I can try out in the new year, what things didn't serve me in the previous year and what still works. This year, I asked myself questions like 'What were the highlights of the year and why?', 'What were the low points?', "What drained my energy?" and "Who am I spending my time with? Is that the best use of time?' Thanks to this exercise, I decided to start going on walks during 1:1s with my leadership team. It felt like a great solution for my desire to connect with others while prioritizing well-being.
So often, the greatest obstacle we face is ourselves. Self-limiting beliefs can create a mental roadblock that hinders progress, often leading us to make inauthentic compromises. In her book The Way of Integrity, sociologist Martha Beck sees these compromises as lies, and I believe she's right. When we compromise based on self-limiting beliefs, we sacrifice parts of ourselves and avoid living in our truth.
For example, when I was choosing between an MBA and a master's in human resources, I had reservations about the business degree's math requirements. I assumed accounting and statistics classes would be too challenging for me. But upon reflection, I realized I shouldn't allow limiting beliefs to prevent me from achieving my goals. In the end, I discovered I was more than capable of succeeding in those courses.
We aren't always right about ourselves. So we must be ready to embrace change and opportunities to learn and improve. If it seems like limiting beliefs are starting to surface, just ask yourself, 'Is that actually true?'
To embrace integrity and authenticity, I live according to a "no lying" philosophy. This certainly has its challenges. Think about all the easy white lies that slip into conversations, like complimenting someone's shoes when you don't like them. These small deceptions, though well intended, can chip away at the authentic life you're trying to build.
To find your own life philosophy, consider what matters the most and what motivates you. If you're drawn to broad statements like 'I want to be a better person,' try to break them down into one or two action steps. For example, you could volunteer in your community or reach out to friends you haven't connected with in a while. Then reflect on the progress you've made regularly, like monthly or quarterly, and adjust your action steps as needed.
While it's a personal responsibility to take charge of being our most authentic selves, leaders must also create a culture of acceptance in the workplace. For example, creating employee resource groups can help employees build strong, internal communities that encourage authenticity. Ultimately, these values should be embedded within the organization and instilled in new employees from the start.
Like any growth journey, learning to be more authentic isn't about perfection. It's important to remember that small wins accumulate over time. Every choice we make can bring us closer to our core values. By intentionally aligning with our true selves, we become a little more authentic every day. Staying on this course is how we ultimately find happiness and success both in work and life.
Forbes Human Resources Council is an invitation-only organization for HR executives across all industries. Do I qualify?
