04-04-2025
The True Story Behind ‘Dying For Sex'—What Happened To Molly Kochan?
"Dying For Sex"
FX's new series Dying for Sex isn't your typical cancer story. The show chronicles the extraordinary real-life journey of Molly Kochan, a woman who set out to explore her sexuality after being diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer.
Over the show's eight episodes, Michelle Williams portrays Kochan, while Jenny Slate plays her best friend, Nikki Boyer, who supports her throughout the entire process. 'After Molly receives a diagnosis of Stage IV metastatic breast cancer, she decides to leave her husband and begins to explore the full breadth and complexity of her sexual desires for the first time in her life,' the official synopsis reads.
All eight episodes of Dying for Sex are now streaming on Hulu. Keep reading to learn more about Molly Kochan and how closely the show mirrors her actual life.
FX's "Dying For Sex" on Hulu.
Yes, FX's new series Dying For Sex is based on the popular Wondery podcast of the same name, which Kochan and Boyer created during the final months of Kochan's life. Kochan also documented her cancer journey on her website Everything Leads to This, which she initially kept anonymous before eventually going public with her story.
While on her deathbed, she wrote a memoir titled Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole (2020), detailing how her stage IV breast cancer diagnosis led her to seek life's deeper meaning through 'a sexual journey of exploration,' according to the description. 'She juggles dozens of online suitors and brings kinks and fetishes into the real world, all while dealing with the ups and downs of her cancer treatment.'
Molly Kochan was born and raised in New York but moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in acting. She decided to stay in LA after getting engaged to her husband. According to People, in 2005—shortly after her engagement—Kochan visited her gynecologist due to pain during sex and a small lump in her breast. However, doctors dismissed both symptoms, she later shared in her blog and memoir.
On Everything Leads to This, she shared an open letter addressed to her OB-GYN, recalling how she had gone to his office to voice her concerns—only for him to allegedly treat her visit "much like an encounter at a cocktail party.'
'I told you about discomfort with sex and you asked me if I really loved my fiancé. When I said I did, you mentioned another patient who had had a similar problem and, it turned out, wasn't in love with her partner. I then told you about a lump that was concerning. It was small, it was hard, it was nothing you said after kneading around it for a minute. Plus, you said, I was way too young to worry about something like breast cancer. I was 33. After that you rushed through the rest of the exam and had me meet you in your office once I got dressed,' she wrote in the post.
Four years into her marriage, in 2011, Kochan was diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent chemotherapy, radiation, a bilateral mastectomy, and breast reconstruction, according to her book. Although she initially believed she was in the clear, the cancer returned three years into her hormone therapy—this time spreading to her bones, liver, and brain. The diagnosis was Stage IV and terminal.
After learning in August 2015 that her cancer had metastasized to her liver, Kochan realized she could no longer stay in her marriage. She left her husband and set out on a sexual journey in hopes of reconnecting with her body. In March 2016, she moved out and later opened up about the difficult decision on her blog.
'The truth is, without this diagnosis I probably would have stayed, continued to try to make things work,' Kochan wrote at the time. 'Because there is a lot of love there. But there is also a lot of stress. And a stressful environment is not a good one when battling cancer.'
FX's "Dying For Sex" on Hulu.
Nikki Boyer was one of Kochan's closest friends for over 20 years. The two first met when they were paired together in an acting class. 'She didn't like me very much because I was annoying and probably vying for everyone's attention,' Boyer told The Sunday Times Magazine. Had their drama teacher not matched them, she says, 'I don't know if Molly and I would have found each other's friendship.'
As Kochan faced her cancer diagnoses, she and Boyer grew inseparable, remaining by each other's side until the very end. 'We've been together through marriages, divorces, boyfriends, her step kids, and now my cancer ... twice,' Kochan penned in her memoir. 'She cries, sometimes as much, if not more, than I do about my diagnosis. But we laugh, too. That's always been the light of our relationship: laughter.'
Kochan began a hormone therapy that was supposed to lessen her libido, but it ended up doing the complete opposite, giving her a full-on sexual awakening. 'I literally wanted to hump everything and everyone that I saw,' she said on her podcast.
'For a long time with sex—and this is why I had a problem in my marriage—I was really, really, really good at figuring out what other people liked and then I could simulate that like an actor for them,' Kochan said in an episode of the podcast. 'But I never really knew what I liked.'
Boyer told The Times that Kochan's sexual exploration was also a way for her to confront past trauma, including being sexually assaulted at age 7 by her mother's then-boyfriend.
'A lot of people think, 'She's just having sex, f------ around to make herself feel good,'' Boyer said. 'But it wasn't just about that. There was healing of old wounds. Her whole life she felt fragmented and during sex she was allowed to make her own choices and put the pieces together for herself.'
Molly Kochan passed away on March 8, 2019, after more than three years of living with Stage IV cancer. In a blog post titled 'I Have Died,' published after her death, she shared that her 'last days were great.'
'I was with the people who were meant to be there,' she said. 'I never wanted to deal with this disease and blame no one for even remotely not wanting to be around it. Even unconsciously.'
Boyer told The Times that she was by her best friend's side during her final moments. 'I put my hand on her head and my other hand on her heart. I said, 'I'm here, I've got you,'" she recalled. 'I was in awe of her in that moment. It was one of the most magical things I've ever experienced. It was so intense and beautiful.'
She shared that creating the podcast after Kochan's death delayed some of her grieving, as it felt like she was still working alongside her. 'I felt she was guiding me,' she said, 'which is the most vulnerable thing to do… I saw every phase of Molly. I saw her sexy self. I saw her sick. I was scrolling hundreds of messages. I saw more dick pics than I ever thought possible."
While Dying For Sex largely stays true to Kochan's real-life story, the FX series did take a few creative liberties, according to Boyer. For example, the show is set in New York, even though Kochan actually lived in Los Angeles. The producers also merged several of the men Kochan encountered (many of whom were into kinks and fetishes) into a single character known as 'neighbor guy,' played by Rob Delaney.
Another moment in the series shows Molly revealing that her husband hadn't touched her in years and that she'd never had an orgasm with another person. Boyer told that this plot point was one of those creative liberties. However, Kochan was open on the podcast about how she and her husband had fallen out of sync sexually during her cancer treatment.
In Dying For Sex, viewers will also see Molly exchanging sexy photos with men she met online. Boyer clarified to that while Kochan did, in fact, date a man who enjoyed being kicked in the groin, she did not break her femur doing so. However, she did meet men who wanted to be dominated in the bedroom. In the series, she's shown barking orders at suitors (and in one case, quite literally, as one guy liked pretending he was a dog). Boyer said that Kochan actually did meet a man who wanted her to treat him like a pet dog and live in her home in a cage (which is why one episode title is called 'My Pet").
Her best friend revealed that Kochan also had sexual encounters in her hospital bed near the end of her life. 'She wanted to feel really alive and as normal as possible, so it just didn't feel like she was stuck in the hospital for days on end,' Boyer said.
Dying For Sex is streaming on Hulu. Watch the official trailer below.
