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- New York Times
Morata considered faking injury to miss Euro 2024 due to depression, he says in new doc
Spain striker Alvaro Morata has said he seriously considered faking an injury to avoid playing at Euro 2024, after an accumulation of criticism suffered during his career left him feeling 'depressed' and 'mentally broken'.
The revelations come in a new documentary — Morata: They Don't Know Who I Am — which shows the mental struggles he faced after being criticised for missing chances when his former club Atletico Madrid were eliminated by Borussia Dortmund in the Champions League quarter-finals in April 2024.
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'You start to feel many things in your body and you don't know why or how,' Morata says in the documentary. 'Your legs hurt. Your chest closes up. You can't breathe. I was afraid of going to sleep and not waking up. I was afraid of everything.'
Morata, now 32 and with AC Milan, says that after missing a one-on-one with Dortmund keeper Gregor Kobel early in the second leg in Germany, he could not concentrate on the game as he kept replaying the incident in his head.
'I was not able to follow the ball,' he says. 'We were not losing the game, or knocked out yet, but in your head you had blown the chance to reach a Champions League final with Atletico. When the game was over, I stayed a long time alone in the dressing room. I just wanted to cry. From there, it all began.'
Made by FJX Media and City Studios, and premiering on Spanish TV channel Movistar Plus+ on June 17, the documentary features interviews with Morata's wife, Alice Campello, his parents, close friends and mental coach Adria Carmona.
Morata says in the documentary that during his difficult period playing for Chelsea from 2017 to 2019 he 'had a very bad time'. The issues then continued when the former Real Madrid youth teamer joined Atletico, and came to a head after the Dortmund game last year.
'I had many horrible, self-destructive thoughts,' Morata says. 'It passed through my head to fake an injury, so I would not have to go (to the Euros).'
Morata called Spain team doctor Oscar Celada to say he could not go to the tournament. Celada organised for Morata to speak with former Spain player Andres Iniesta, who suffered depression during his career following the death of Dani Jarque, a close friend and former team-mate, in August 2009.
Iniesta helped Morata realise that making a positive contribution for Spain at the Euros could help him deal with his problems. Spain coach Luis de la Fuente also says in the documentary that he told Morata 'the team needed him', in order to give the player something to aim for.
National team-mates including Rodri, Dani Olmo, Nico Williams, Mikel Oyarzabal and Alex Remiro are also interviewed. Morata says that playing golf with Oyarzabal and Remiro during the tournament was 'my therapy'.
Between games at the Euros, Morata also had appointments with his psychiatrist, Pilar de Castro-Manglano, some of which are shown in the film.
'(Alvaro) is now in a process of repair,' De Castro-Manglano says. 'It's like a ligament had broken, and you have to learn to walk again. To be able to deal with the difficulties of life in a healthy way. Learning to manage life is difficult, even more in elite people who live in the public eye.'
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The documentary shows Morata scoring in Spain's 3-0 opening win over Croatia — his only goal of the tournament. The forward was criticised for his displays by some Spanish pundits and supporters — as he has often been through his long international career, including being whistled while playing games on home soil during Euro 2020 (played in 2021 due to the Covid pandemic).
'Is it worth playing for Spain if everywhere I go with my family, there are unpleasant incidents, with people insulting you and mocking you?' an emotional Morata says in the documentary.
'If you go to stadiums, wearing the Spain jersey, and fans whistle you and abuse you. It's not worth it. I know there are many Spain fans who support me, but also many others who don't want me here. But I think if I retire from international football, they will win.'
The film had cameras in Spain's dressing room before and after all their Euro 2024 games, including their 2-1 victory over England in the final.
'That was the happiest moment I have felt in my career,' says Morata of the celebrations after Oyarzabal's late winning goal.
Morata also says in the doc that his decision to leave Atletico Madrid and sign for AC Milan in summer 2024 was specifically to avoid a repeat of the abuse he had suffered after the Dortmund game.
'I could not risk another depression,' he says. 'I wanted to win trophies with Atletico Madrid, but it was not worth the possibility of going through another bad time. It's not nice for me to say it, but it was the easiest decision to make.'
The 90-minute film also shows how Morata separated from Campello after last summer's tournament, before getting back together a few months later. The player, who spent the second half of last season on loan at Turkish club Galatasaray, has remained with the Spain team. He was a back-up to Oyarzabal in the recent Nations League final, coming off the bench against Portugal and missing the key kick in the decisive penalty shootout.
