11 hours ago
People Who Called Off Their Weddings Are Sharing Why They Had A Change Of Heart, And It's An Emotional Rollercoaster
Reddit user thriceusetissue recently asked, "People who've called off wedding engagements, why didn't it work out?" Here are some shocking, heartbreaking, and wild reasons people dipped before saying "I do."
1."He called me when he was drunk at 3 a.m. and told me that he only asked me to marry him because he didn't think he could do better. He denied it happened the next day despite there being a call."
—FuerGrissa0stDrauka
2."He wanted to play video games for 18 hours a day. I had to schedule an hour a day for us to just hang out, and he made it seem like I was an inconvenience. When I said he never wanted to do things I wanted to do, he told me he didn't like the things I did and didn't understand why he had to do them. He also got fired from four jobs that year because he would rather play games. Even his parents started asking why I was with him. I thought I couldn't do better, but I left him, and seven months later, after starting over, I found my husband."
—mapleysyrupy
3."He asked me to promise him never to get fat, or he would be forced to look at other women. I ended it immediately. He then said he was joking, but I knew he wasn't. His mom called me crying, asking me to reconsider. No, thank you."
—MomMMMNN
4."We decided to open up our relationship (terrible idea, I know, but we were convinced), then the trust was broken, and it was never the same. We called it off shortly after. In hindsight, that relationship had some other big problems, but we were in love, and it's hard to see red flags with rose colored glasses on. Life goes on, and I'm in a much happier relationship now. I hope the same for her."
—Randomsong000000001
5."He was an amazing man and would've been an amazing husband. At that point in my life, I was a closeted lesbian, and only an evil person would've gone forward with the wedding."
—du-du-duck
6."My friend ended her engagement with her fiancé because it came out that he was ripping everyone off. He was an investment banker, a charismatic guy, who had convinced everyone he knew (family, friends, her family and friends, businesses, anyone he could really) to invest with him, lying about the returns, a robbing-Peter-to-pay-Paul situation. It all came to light along with the fact that he was physically abusing her to keep her quiet. He ended up in prison."
—tweedledumb4u
7."A year after we met, he moved to another country for his dream job (it would only be a two or three-year contract). I was still in grad school, so I couldn't move, so we did long distance for two and a half years. We spent all our extra money on plane tickets. We got engaged while still long-distance. I then said I wanted to move to another country for my dream job. By this point, he decided he wanted to take a job back in our original country. Instead of supporting me, he tried to aggressively talk me out of taking the job, whining, being manipulative, and telling me to take something lower level in our home country."
"In the end, to mentally deal with packing up and moving without the extra stress, I basically cut contact with him for two months, moved, and started my job. Then we talked and broke up on the phone. I mailed him the ring and never looked back."
—BloopBloopBloopin
8."I felt like I was his mom. I had to keep asking him to help out around the house, make sure he wasn't sleeping through his alarm for work, set up a 'chore chart' so I wasn't the only one keeping up with household tasks, apologe to my friends and family for him skipping out on events because he was sleeping through them, ask him not to stay up until 3 a.m. playing video games because we had something important going on the following morning, etc."
—butterednoodles24
9."He proposed right after boot camp at 19. I said yes, but I wanted to wait until I finished college. At 20, he started pestering me to get married and would get upset when I did homework instead of hanging out with him. By the end of junior year, I was failing my classes, and I asked to take a break. We had been dating since I was 16, and I really just wanted some time to figure out who I was. He cried to all our friends, who convinced me I was a fool for ending it, so I took him back. Two weeks after my 21st birthday, I found out he had been sleeping with my brother's girlfriend for months. I'm 29 now. I saw him about two years ago at a work event where he was the valet. I parked my own car."
—queen-of-unicorns
10."When he realized my dad wasn't paying for the whole thing, he completely lost interest in planning anything. I kind of fished for his response by softly asking, 'Do you want to call it off to avoid the financial hardship?' His whole face actually beamed at that, lmao. I called it off and fully left him like a month later."
—Majestic-Bake1868
11."I ended my very short-lived engagement because of Reddit. I kid you not. I posted on an engagement ring sub about hating my ring, and then people started asking questions about my relationship. After others figured out that he was much older, it made me understand I was being manipulated. It was mind-blowing. I received so many messages from concerned women of that sub that I could barely keep up. In the beginning, I thought everyone was exaggerating, but then I started reading stories and links they sent me and finding so much in common. I told him I needed some time to think. He did a 180-degree change-up, making me realize what a freak he was. I haven't looked back, honestly. I am applying for medical school and am so happy I didn't stay with him."
—Thick-Journalist-901
12."He told me I could either give him a kid or he was taking the ring back. So I gave him the ring back."
—Cuntzilla_
13."He refused to set a date. Then he refused to make me coffee (same pot, it was big enough for both of us, he just wouldn't make enough for both of us). Then he refused to turn off the giant overhead light in the bedroom when he left for work earlier than I, so I had to get up to turn it off and couldn't sleep for a few more minutes. He just didn't like me much after the excitement wore off, and I wanted more than that. He did, however, stalk and harass me for weeks after I broke it off, threatening my job and my housing, and repeatedly telling me he'd kill himself or sexually assault me. Which just seems like a lot more effort than making slightly more coffee and turning off a light and not screaming at me."
—bloop-bloop-bloop-
14."His mom basically ran our relationship. I'd be marrying a family that didn't even like me, and she didn't stand up for me once. Nah."
—pink_cherryy
15."He was emotionally abusive and very dependent. I found out after the fact he cheated on me and had a child with her (he's a doctor, she was the nurse!)."
—SharonAlyse
16."A relative of mine called off her wedding the day before the event, after all the guests had flown in, when she somehow learned that her fiancé was not, in fact, divorced from his first wife like he'd claimed."
—koreth
17."I really started watching how she treated her parents while she was stressed. I was not impressed. I didn't want that in a permanent partner."
—das_sparker
18."She lied about doing her taxes for like five years. She never did them. I only found out when she freaked out about me opening a letter for her from the IRS. I can't deal with lying like that. I literally offered to help/do them for years prior to that. Who just doesn't file taxes?"
—Techfuture2
19."He was controlling and immature. He wanted to buy video games and CDs rather than paying rent. He emotionally manipulated me into making irresponsible financial decisions. The straw that broke the camel's back was when my mom left a stern message on the answering machine saying the bank called her because I was $700 overdrawn. When he told me I had a message, he said, 'Your mom called. Haha, you're in trouble!'"
—crazyidahopuglady
20."I got engaged and broke up with someone during the same conversation. He proposed and then explained that he proposed because he cheated on me, and the immense guilt made him realize how much he loved me and how much he wanted to spend his life with me."
—MehX73
21."He started getting weirdly jealous. He'd get upset if I left the house when he said he might call, even if those times were during my classes or work. Or, he'd say he was coming over and not show for hours. And again, he would be upset if I were not sitting and waiting for him. Clearly absurd shit! When I dumped his ass, he told me I couldn't make it without him. I told him my life was about to get EASIER without having a giant baby!"
—jjme08
22."I slept with a member of my bridal party two months before the wedding. It kind of felt like poor form to go through with it after that. I spent way too long holding on after that and caused a lot more hurt from not knowing what the hell I wanted."
—Pettyjack
23."He was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Life of the party, nicest guy in public. At home, controlling, gaslighting, and verbally and emotionally abusive. He tried to destroy my career and friendships so that I would be reliant on him. But I was the 'crazy' one! I was apparently immature, poor, and going to cheat on him, so he cheated first. And he abused alcohol and drugs, but no, he blamed that on me. He is on wife number five."
—blueyedwineaux
24."I called mine off two weeks before because he was so rigid about the prenup, and instead of trying to work through it, he said take it or leave it. So I left it. I realized at that moment this guy didn't want a partner; he wanted someone who thought he could control and who was convenient. I personally did not matter to him. His mom was also extremely manipulative and awful. I couldn't run faster from that family."
—killer-queen
25."I felt pressure from my mother to marry. I was in my early 30s at the time. Took 12 months to organize this wedding, and then the invitations went out. At this point, anxiety set in, and I had weeks of sleepless nights. I didn't want to marry. He was a great man, and who was I to take away his opportunity at real love so that I could appease my mother? So I cancelled it all in one fell swoop! Boy, was I hated by all. I lived happily ever after!"
—Left_Signal_1370
26."He went to law school and became a mean, overly competitive person. We began frequently arguing, and couples counseling didn't help. I asked to postpone the wedding, and he gave me an ultimatum: keep our date or break it off. I chose the latter, thank GOD."
—Alternative-Sir-2226
27."I was way too young to be engaged in the first place. But then I started noticing how he treated his sweet mom (lots of pouting, yelling, melodrama), and I realized that was my future. I've never regretted walking away."
—Appropriate-Cod9031
28."My ex and I were about six months from getting married. DJ, photographer, venue, save the dates. There came a certain point where she wasn't enthusiastic about the planning, and I knew something was up, but I was still stunned when she said she wanted to call it off. She could tell I wasn't ready to start a family like she was and that I was going along for the ride. It hurt like hell at first, and I went off the deep end for a while, but eventually I felt relief because she was right. I wasn't ready for kids. We briefly got back together and ended it again more amicably the second time, and two weeks after splitting for good, I met the woman I would marry. We're happy and child-free; my ex is a mom of two kids. She's divorced but seems to be doing well. I'm grateful to her now, in retrospect."
—MisterAlaska
"My buddy and his ex-fiancée ended an engagement about four years ago, only six months before their wedding. Basically, both of them, on their own, felt like it had run its course, and they weren't supposed to be together. It's one of the most mature break-ups I've ever seen. Within two months, both of them had new partners. Flash forward three years. My buddy and his ex both got engaged to those partners within weeks of each other. Flash forward to last Saturday, and both of them got married — on the same day — to the people they had met within months of ending an engagement four years prior. Meanwhile...I've been single this whole damn time!"
—masu94
Have you ever broken off an engagement? What happened? Tell us in the comments or share anonymously using this form.
