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Irish Independent

Comedian Aoife Dunne: ‘Coming to terms with my mother's death helped me live closer to life'

Dunne (38), from Kinvara, Co Galway, is set to perform at the ­Ambassador Theatre in Dublin in ­September with her show Good Grief, after only a year-and-a-half of gigging. She has recently performed at the Brighton Fringe Festival, with plenty of comedy clubs and storytelling events under her belt. It is a special moment for the self-proclaimed 'talker' who dreamed of being on stage as a child. But, as she put it: 'My life hasn't been just a barrel of laughs.' She has an arts degree and a ­master's in human rights law and trained in acting until she was 19, but Dunne felt stuck in life for many years after a family tragedy. While backpacking in South America at 23 years old, she received the worst phone call imaginable. Her mother had died suddenly at the age of 53. In a letter she wrote to her younger self, which she incorporates into her shows, she explains that time is the greatest healer. I know how bad it can be and I know how dark things can be 'I know this sounds weird, but Mom dying and me coming to terms with death has helped me live closer to life. And it wasn't this immediate, 'oh my God, life's amazing'. It's hard,' she said. 'When someone tells me they're going through any kind of grief, it's so important to say, this is awful. I think we have this tendency when someone tells you something sad to try to either push it to the side or have this tendency to say, 'don't cry'. 'Those are good things too. But in the moment, it's important to be sad.' Dunne's father had left the family years before, although she has since reconciled with him. ADVERTISEMENT But the single-parent household meant that in her early 20s, she suddenly became the stand-in parent to her two younger brothers and her older sister with an intellectual disability. Her shows are full of laughter as well as stories of her struggles. 'I am so present with things, and I think that's only because I know how bad it can be and I know how dark things can be. And so that's made me understand the lightness even more, she said. A stand-out moment in our chat was when she recalled putting tan on her brother Féidhlim, who was competing in a bodybuilding competition at 19. 'I went to this conference at Limerick University with Féidhlim. And I just walked around, seeing all these grown men and women tanned up to see all their muscles. He looked incredible, my brother really put a lot of work into it,' she said. 'But his bum needs to be tanned beforehand to show up the muscle, so there I am tanning his gluteal muscle thinking OK, this is my life now, and one of my friends who I studied acting with [Nicola Coughlan] is in Bridgerton. 'I didn't realise it's like an All-Ireland hurling final, people stand up and they're screaming. I realise he has no one else here to support him, but I don't necessarily want to be like screaming to my half-naked brother. 'But I also thought how Mom's not here to do it now. So, I jump up shouting 'Come on, Féidhlim'.' I know this sounds strange, but this is destiny Dunne's new tour is about life's absurdities, the mistakes we all make and why the path you're on is the right path. She took hold of her own path at 35 when she started therapy and began ­focusing on making her dream a reality. Then in 2023, she spoke at a storytelling event before attending a four-day storytelling course in Dún Laoghaire. Opportunities began to snowball from there. 'I posted one of my stories online and then Katie Boyle [a US-based Irish comic] got in touch and asked if I wanted to do a story in New York. After New York, I was asked to do the Galway Comedy Festival,' she said. 'What I say to people is that after that, every time I did something, another door flung open. All I could think was, I know this sounds strange, but this is destiny.' Dunne plays the Ambassador Theatre, Dublin, on September 20, along with Cyprus Avenue, Cork, on September 27 and the Limelight, Belfast, on October 11. She will also be performing at the Galway Arts Festival in July. Check out @aoife_is_never_dunne on Instagram.