11-06-2025
When I play this match it will be Aodhla's name on my jersey
tragic loss |
Dad Peter will remember his baby daughter at a Féilecáin Fathers charity event which hopes to raise funds for the stillbirth and neonatal death support organisation
Now her family will remember their baby girl at a special charity event next week, and raise funding for the Irish charity that has proven to be a lifeline.
Aodhla's dad Peter has found hope and comfort from speaking with other dads through Féileacáin (the Irish for butterfly), a not-for-profit organisation that provides support to anyone affected by the death of a baby during or after pregnancy.
On June 14, he will take part in Féileacáin Fathers Charity Tournament, where participants will carry the names of the children they have lost on their jerseys. It's a moving and powerful way of remembering Aodhla and other children, which is hugely important to her parents Peter and Sarah. Her siblings Caragh and Tom will also wear jerseys in her memory.
Beautiful Aodhla was with her family for 8 weeks
'You're making sure you remember all those kids,' says Peter. 'When we go out to play this match in June, Aodhla's name is on the back of my jersey with the number zero. Tom and Caragh will both have jerseys with 'Aodhla' on the back too.'
Many family members will also come along in support, says Peter, who has championed the charity and the match since he first started speaking with other men who, like him, had lost a child. He hasn't played football in a long time, having previously broken his leg in four places.
Peter first met the football group after offering to take photos, which is his big hobby. 'When I turned up, I don't think anyone knew I was a dad who lost a little girl. I think they all just thought I was there to take some photos. When I went home that day, I said to Sarah: 'I'm going to have to play. I'm going to have to at least put on shorts and socks and a t-shirt and stand on the sideline so I can start to talk to people'.
Aodhla with her adoring family Sarah, Peter and Caragh
'I made it my business then to play at least one game before this tournament. I played half that game with both ankles heavily strapped with tape and with what I thought was Sarah waving at me from the sideline to say hello, but it was actually her waving to tell me to go back off before I hurt myself!'
Peter and Sarah lost their baby girl in January of this year while out for a walk with family on the Hill of Tara, near their home in Navan in Co Meath. 'It's probably one of our favourite places to go to, whether it be for sunrise or sunset or just for a walk around as a family,' says Peter. 'There was some light snow on the hill, and Caragh was having great fun sliding up and down the hill.'
But a family day out ended tragically when they checked on Aodhla and discovered she wasn't breathing. Efforts were made to work on her as paramedics arrived on the scene, and later at Temple Street hospital. She passed away at 6.38pm on January 9 of this year. 'Five months later, we are still waiting on the autopsy results to establish the cause of Aodhla's death,' says Sarah.
'She was only with us for eight weeks and two days, that's all,' says Peter. 'She was born on the 12th of November. I think that's probably half the reason why I wanted to do this is because... people don't know what to say. And I want people to know that we don't know what to say either.
Peter and Caragh after the last charity game
'When people come and say to us, they don't know what to say, usually I respond with: 'I don't know what to say either. So that's OK'.
'The one thing I would say is we get great comfort in speaking about her. The meaning of her name is 'little fiery one'. She was probably the total opposite of the meaning of her name — she was just so relaxed and so chilled out.'
In a powerful account that she wrote about Aodhla, Sarah remembers her baby girl and the family's grief. 'She was a healthy baby and hit all her milestones. She took to breastfeeding very easily and was a very chilled out little baby. She slotted so well into our family and our family felt so complete. We enjoyed a gorgeous happy Christmas together. Everything felt so 'right'. Aodhla loved being out and about for walks and in her short life went on many walks, coffee dates, to the zoo, to visit Santa at Emerald Park, met family and friends and visited beautiful Lahinch Co Clare for the Christmas/New Year holidays. Little did we know the turmoil that lay ahead of us.
Beautiful Aodhla Shelley Clancy
'Since January 9, the pain is indescribable. Aodhla and I were joined at the hip. She came everywhere with me. It's like a limb is missing, a piece of me is gone. The best way to describe it is 'Empty arms, broken heart'. Maternity Leave without your baby is the cruellest thing ever.
'If I had one tip for family and friends of someone who have lost a baby it would be to continue to check in on them (even if you don't get a reply). It means so much to know people care and are thinking of us.
'Always speak their babies name rather than avoid the elephant in the room. Not mentioning our baby hurts so much more than being awkward and saying the wrong thing. Aodhla was a beautiful little baby with the most beautiful sparkly blue eyes and gorgeous smile and we'll continue to talk about her forever.'
As the family attend June 14 Féileacáin Fathers Charity Tournament with jerseys bearing Aodhla's name, they will fondly remember their baby girl. What does it mean to Peter to take part in the tournament?
'I think it's the hope. When I sat in the changing room with everyone, and I'm hearing people's stories, and when I'm chatting to them, it's the fact that they've come through it. You're always going to carry it with you, but I look at them, and I get hope from everybody else that's there.'
If you would like to support the charity event, you can do so at
Peter playing in the last dad's match
