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New York Post
15-05-2025
- New York Post
The dangerous bedroom act that can go ‘from fun to deadly'
Nearly a third of young Australians are engaging – for pleasure – in a sex act that can go 'from fun to deadly' in a matter of seconds, new research has found. Of the more than 54,000 people who took part in The Great Aussie Debate – a wide-ranging, 50-question survey launched earlier this year, uncovering what Australians really think about everything from the cost of living and homeownership to electric vehicles and going shoeless in supermarkets – 30 percent of 18 to 29-year-olds had engaged in strangulation during sex. They were also the generation with the highest rate (3.31 percent) of it happening without their consent. Defined as when a person's breathing is stopped or restricted by the use of hands, other body parts or ties around the neck, the act, commonly referred to as 'choking', cannot be performed safely during sex, police, doctors and researchers have said. 4 18 to 29-year-olds were the generation with the highest rate of engaging in strangulation during sex, and the highest group of it occurring without their consent. LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – Though the practice isn't new, Gen Z's increased acceptance of it as part and parcel of 'normal' sex has become a central concern for experts. As Teach Us Consent founder Chanel Contos asked in her National Press Club address, 'How can it be a significant indication a man is going to kill you has become commonplace in the bedroom?' 4 Gen Z's increased acceptance of choking as 'normal' sex has become a central concern for experts. Volodymyr – First and foremost, the University of Melbourne's Professor Heather Douglas told 'I think we can blame the extraordinary accessibility of online pornography and sharing over the internet' for the rapid rise of sexual choking. In a survey led by Douglas of 4700 18 to 35-year-old Australians, pornography was the primary source (61.3 percent) of participants' exposure to information or depictions of the practice, as has fear of being perceived as 'vanilla', movies (40.3 percent), friends (31.9 percent), social media (31.3 percent) – where memes have minimized and even romanticized the risks, and discussions with potential partners (29.2 percent). Douglas's findings showed two things, Women's Health NSW Senior Project Officer Jackie McMillan told 'The idea that it is safe to do, and the idea that all your friends are doing it.' 'And when more people are introduced to a sexual practice, they may also go on and try it with their future partners, which can lead to increased prevalence,' McMillan said. 'When people think sexual choking is normal and routine, it can become decoupled from the health and safety risks associated with it, and it can reduce the impetus on every sexual participant to get informed, affirmative and specific consent before they try doing it.' Male Great Aussie Debate respondents were most likely to be curious about engaging in choking during sex (4.45 percent), while fewer than 2 percent of women (1.84 percent) said they had any desire to partake. 4 'When people think sexual choking is normal and routine, it can become decoupled from the health and safety risks associated with it,' Jackie McMillan, Women's Health NSW Senior Project Officer, said. LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – Of those who had engaged in choking during sex, 12.5 percent said it had been with permission, versus 2.3 percent who said it had been without. Non-binary Australians (8.15 percent) were most likely to have been subject to choking without their consent, followed by women (4.69 percent) and less than 1 percent of men. Irrespective of consent or the lack thereof, the harms and risks associated with strangulation are well-documented: everything from the immediate – bruising or swelling to the neck, blurred vision, dizziness or light-headedness, difficulty swallowing – to long term. Of greatest concern to experts is brain damage, which can take days, weeks, or even years to manifest. No matter how briefly, restricting blood flow to the brain can cause permanent injury like cognitive impairment or a stroke. Douglas pointed to research that, over a month, compared people who had been consensually strangled during sex on three or four occasions with those who had never been strangled. 'The people who were strangled showed brain damage,' she said. 'They were slower at solving problems, had more memory issues and even the structure of their brains looked different.' There is also growing evidence that, much like the cumulative harm of repetitive head injuries on football players and boxers, hypoxic/anoxic brain injuries from sexual choking also add up, McMillan said, and can lead to long-term cognitive problems. A 'fine line' exists between the amount of pressure applied during fatal and non-fatal strangulation, Douglas said. 4 According to Heather Douglas, a professor at the University of Melbourne, there is a 'fine line' between fatal and non-fatal pressure for strangulation. MergeIdea – Even the 'relatively low' amount of force it takes to open a can of soft drink, when applied to someone's throat, is enough to cause unconsciousness and risk brain injury. People who are engaging in strangulation during sex, she continued, are unlikely to be 'experts on pressure use' – a survey of 169 Australian university students published last year found that most considered it to be risk-free. 'The timeline between pleasurable and fatal sexual choking is measured in seconds, not minutes,' McMillan said. 'It can move from being fun to being terrifying and deadly very quickly. If you throw drugs or alcohol into the mix too, you can imagine how quickly stuff can go wrong.' McMillan noted there is also 'legal risk' to sexual choking. Under NSW law, 'having someone's consent doesn't protect you if you cause serious harm or the death of another person … even if you use harm-reduction techniques like 'moderate' pressure and communication throughout'. 'If you're going to keep (engaging in) sexual choking – and that's entirely your prerogative – we say it's a good idea to make it something you only practice occasionally, rather than part of your 'daily' or regular sexual practices,' McMillan said, referring to Women's Health NSW's online learning hub, It Left No Marks. Though the program stresses that there is no risk-free way to engage in the act, it provides information for people 'about lower-risk activities, including holding your own breath (so you can let it go when it gets scary) and simulating choking (play acting) rather than actually restricting someone's air or blood flow to the brain', McMillan said. 'Nobody wants to give or receive a brain injury during sex,' she added. Given the threat to people's brains posed by strangulation, Douglas said that 'we need to separate (it) from other kinks'. 'Helping people to understand these risks is key,' she said.
Daily Telegraph
15-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- Daily Telegraph
A new breed of cheating is on the rise in Aus – but does it count?
Don't miss out on the headlines from Lifestyle. Followed categories will be added to My News. A young Perth woman gave her boyfriend the elbow after he 'betrayed' her while they slept in the same bed – but is it cheating? A Perth woman has revealed she dumped her boyfriend for subscribing to a popular porn star's OnlyFans account, stating it's the same as 'cheating' – and it turns out, she's not alone in that view. New data has revealed most Australians believe that if their partner looks at explicit videos and photos shared by adult content creators on the popular subscription site, then it's akin to straying from their relationship. The divide over what constitutes the ultimate relationship betrayal was uncovered in the results of Great Aussie Debate, a 50 question survey that delves into what Australians really think about the hot topics of 2025. Over two weeks, more than 54,000 Australians took part in the survey, revealing their thoughts on everything from the cost of living and homeownership, to electric vehicles and going shoeless in supermarkets. No subject was off the table, including attitudes towards the pay-for-view platform massively occupied by sex workers, that has boomed in recent years. What emerged in the findings was that, with certain caveats, the vast majority of people consider it cheating if their other-half has a subscription to view X-rated content on OnlyFans. Only 8 per cent of people consider using OnlyFans a normal part of a relationship. Image: Pexels Of those surveyed, 50 per cent said it was 'definitely' cheating, while another 42 per cent said it 'depends on the type of interactions' being had with the creator, showing that perceptions of a partner's 'cheating' are highly subjective and depend heavily on individual values and relationship context. Only 8 per cent of people consider using OnlyFans a 'normal' part of a relationship. Maddi Miller, an OnlyFans star earning $30,000 every month, said that, despite her highly lucrative salary as a sex worker, she draws a line in her own relationships. 'Trust is so important, which is why I had to end it with an ex after I caught him looking at naked photos of other women while in bed with me,' she told If my ex had maybe asked to watch some content together, or he had expressed that he was curious, then we could have had a conversation about it. Image: Pexels 'If my ex had maybe asked to watch some content together, or he had expressed that he was curious, then we could have had a conversation about it." 'But the fact that he was deliberately looking at porn created by people I knew was not okay. 'It was a huge breach of my trust. I wouldn't be asking his mates for nudes. It's the same thing. It's betrayal.' The 20-year-old, who lives in a small mining town in Western Australia, said her former boyfriend tried to cover his tracks and lied about his OnlyFans consumption. 'I only found out because saw it on his phone one night over his shoulder,' she explained. But once I investigated further, I could see in his emails that he had subscribed to multiple women that I knew. The timestamps on the emails showed that he had been laying in bed next to me while he did it. Image: Pexels 'He tried to cover it up, and said his mate sent him a link that he opened it without knowing what it was. 'But once I investigated further, I could see in his emails that he had subscribed to multiple women that I knew. The timestamps on the emails showed that he had been laying in bed next to me while he did it.' Ms Miller described the act of 'betrayal' as extremely damaging, stating it created a lot of self-doubt that still feeds into her relationships today. 'Being young and having financial independence is great but it often attracts men who don't have the best intentions,' she said. uch like Ms Miller's experience, the Great Aussie Debate findings reflect the complexity of the modern relationship issue, with a stark difference between male and female attitudes to OnlyFans. Image: iStock 'And like this circumstance, they think it's okay to push boundaries that we've set in place. 'Like it's owed to them because I do OnlyFans. But it's a job for me. It doesn't mean he can go and do whatever he wants.' Much like Ms Miller's experience, the Great Aussie Debate findings reflect the complexity of the modern relationship issue, with a stark difference between male and female attitudes to OnlyFans. The vast majority of women surveyed (61.3 per cent) believe their partners subscribing to OnlyFans is definitely cheating. In contrast, 46.1 per cent of men quizzed stated it depends on the interaction, while only 35.5 per cent of female respondents felt the same way. Image: Pexels In contrast, 46.1 per cent of men quizzed stated it depends on the interaction, while only 35.5 per cent of female respondents felt the same way. The findings demonstrate the complexity of defining infidelity in the digital age, says Lucy Banks, a sex worker and owner of 'spicy' talent agency, Million Billion Media. 'I've been in the OnlyFans sphere since before Covid and have seen it evolve from a side hustle that everyone seemed unsure about, to a full blown machine that has transformed the entire adult industry,' she told 'Along with that, society and relationships have also evolved, meaning the level of transparency, emotional intelligence, and communication required to maintain a healthy relationship is now much higher. I don't feel as though I'm doing anything technically wrong, sometimes when I wake up and look over at my boyfriend, I feel guilty. But should I be? Image: iStock 'Is it cheating if your partner subscribes to someone on OnlyFans? It really depends on the relationship. 'As someone who not only makes content but also works with other women in the industry, the pattern I see consistently, regardless of age, gender, or content type, is that the strongest relationships are the ones built on trust, open dialogue, and mutual respect.' When hit the streets, everyday Aussies echoed the data, showing men and women were divided on what constitutes cheating on OnlyFans. If you're paying for something, interacting and have a particular person of interest, that's definitely cheating. Image: Pexels One activewear-clad woman said it was cheating, but it depended on what sort of explicit content her partner was watching. While her friend, who was also dressed head-to-toe in figure-hugging workout gear agreed, stating 'how much money' was being spent also played into it. 'If you're paying for something, interacting and have a particular person of interest, that's definitely cheating,' she said. Meanwhile two blokes who were asked 'is subscribing to OnlyFans cheating?' said they didn't think it was akin to having an affair. However one described it as a dog act as it crossed a line in a relationship. Image: Pexels However one described it as a 'dog act' as it crossed a line in a relationship. 'If I was with someone for say five years, I'd be like, 'what's going on here?',' he reasoned. 'That would be a big fight. Whereas with someone new? Bye.' Originally published as A new breed of cheating is on the rise in Aus – but does it count?
News.com.au
12-05-2025
- Business
- News.com.au
The truth about how much you need to earn to be rich in 2025
When I was at school, I thought classmates who had a swimming pool at home must have had rich parents. It seemed like such a luxury. They must have been rich, what with their office and public service jobs. And if they went on overseas holidays, they must have been loaded. While they may not have been 'rich' – I went to a public school in Adelaide's solid working-to-middle class northeastern suburbs – they enjoyed a lot more luxury than many in the same position would today. Kids probably go to school now and deem each other rich on the basis of whether or not their parents rent or own their homes. According to Great Aussie Debate, in which thousands of Australians had their say, you need to be earning more than $250,000 a year to be considered rich. Just 2.6 per cent of people said an income of $80,000-$100,000 would qualify one as rich. It wasn't all that long ago that 100 large was considered to which one could aspire – now it's just enough to pay the bills. Recent Canstar research found that a family of four in Sydney has to spend $105,000 a year, after tax, to cover basic living expenses based on average consumption and mortgage repayments on the median house price. The average national full-time wage is $90,416 before tax – and don't forget that averages are skewed due to much higher numbers on the upper end. Assuming two parents earned the average wage, they'd be left with $141,390 after tax, giving them $36,390 to play with once they've paid for the basics. Once you pay for sport and the rest it doesn't leave much in savings. That's the reality of how many people now live, if they're lucky enough to own their own homes. Someone on an average wage feels nowhere near wealthy and would need to earn significantly more to feel like they didn't have to worry about money. And, relatively, they don't aspire for that much more. People don't necessarily want to be rich but they do want to feel like they don't have to worry as much. Finder research released in March found that Australians on the average wage believed $152,775 was a good salary, but people thought they needed to earn $164,577 to be 'comfortable'. It's a far cry from how things used to be. As I previously wrote, I made comparisons to other families as a child – as I think we all did – about wealth. While I might have thought other people were rich because they had swimming pools I never realised just how rich we were. Perhaps not monetarily. But certainly in terms of family. I was never deprived as a child and my parents weren't poor by any stretch of the imagination, though I was aware of occasional financial pressures. But my younger brother and I, barely two decades ago, were raised on one-and-a-quarter incomes. My father was, and still is, a council gardener and my mother worked in retail on Saturdays and Thursday nights. Mum stayed at home during the week and looked after us until we were old enough to fend for ourselves. That was a decision my parents made – to forego the extra income of mum being at work to raise a family the way they thought was best. And that's what I mean when I say we were rich. They had that choice available to them despite working relatively low-paying jobs. How many families today have a stay-at-home parent without the other parent earning an exceptionally good salary? Within a generation we have obliterated the ability for families to decide how they operate. There's little choice about whether both parents go to work. So wages may increase but we're no richer – in fact, we're going backwards. Wealth is not just measured in money. But you now have to be significantly financially wealthier than you did 20 years ago to enjoy any kind of real-life wealth.
News.com.au
11-05-2025
- Health
- News.com.au
Aussies aren't having enough sex, troubling new data shows
It's official: Australians aren't satisfied with their sex lives. The majority of couples are getting laid 1-2 times a month, but interestingly, almost half are also reporting a desire for increased sexual activity. The eye-opening new information about the state of our love lives was uncovered in the results of Great Aussie Debate, a 50 question survey that delved into what Australians really think about the hot topics of 2025. No subject was off the table, including the intimate details of what goes on in bedrooms across the country. What came to light was a sex secret the majority of Aussies are hiding: we all want more action. Of the 54,000 respondents, the most common reported frequency of sexual activity was 1-2 times a month (26 per cent), with statistics showing sexual frequency decreases with age. On top of this, it seems the majority of Aussies aren't satisfied with their current bedroom habits, with 61 per cent of respondents saying they want more sex than they currently have. The 18-29 age group reported the highest frequency of 2-5 times a week, while older groups reported lower frequencies or preferred not to say. Interestingly, males reported a higher frequency of 1-2 times a month, (24.5 per cent) compared to females (16.7 per cent). While females had 26.2 per cent for blank responses, indicating higher concerns for privacy. Overall, 1-2 times a month was the most frequent response across all age-groups, which suggests a decline in the amount of sex Aussies are having. The most recent Australian Study of Health and Relationships report, described as the 'most important research into sexual and reproductive health', previously found the average couple has sex 1.4 times per week, which translates to about 5.6 times per month. Lauren Muratore, an accredited psychosexual therapist from Melbourne, said suffering a decline in sexual intimacy is common in monogamous relationships – especially long-term ones. 'One of the most common causes of this is the fact that couples don't prioritise intimacy,' the sexologist told 'There's an assumption that sex just happens naturally and that it should it should just be happening, which puts couples into the issue of having just one person as the initiator, resulting in the task being allocated on one half of the partnership. 'This can create a lot of pressure on the relationship and ultimately become a barrier to intimacy.' Ms Muratore, who gave a TEDx Talk titled 'Sexual Sovereignty – who is the gatekeeper of sex?' in August 2024, said that there was another frighteningly common act that is killing sex lives. 'Something else I am seeing more and more is technology interfering with relationships,' Ms Muratore explained. 'Just anecdotally, people come home, they cook dinner, and then they sit on the couch and doom scroll. 'And that is just not an environment that leads to great sex.' The sex expert explained the reason it can have a negative effect on intimacy is because our phones are now essentially providing us with the dopamine hit we'd usually gain from engaging in sexual pleasure. From the survey, it is clear the majority of people want to be having more sex than they currently are, but 31 per cent said they were happy with what the amount the were presently getting, and only a tiny proportion said they wanted less sex. When broken down by gender, a significantly higher percentage of males (57.8 per cent) expressed a desire for a more active love life, compared to females (35.4 per cent). Ms Muratore, the director of Integrated Sex + Relationship Therapy, said the easiest way to reignite the spark with your partner is to focus on spending quality time together without distractions. 'You're not going to have sex if you're not prioritising it, which is why I recommend couples schedule two hours of together time a week,' she said. 'During this time you're making a date for each other, it doesn't have to be for having sex. It's about starting off small and seeing where it leads. It's about creating a space where two people feel safe, comfortable and can start tapping into their erotisicm.'
News.com.au
10-05-2025
- General
- News.com.au
‘Boomers, we aren't soft on kids. We are gentle parenting'
Once upon a time, if a child scraped their knee, the resounding response would be, 'You'll live', and tears were something to 'toughen up' from. But in modern Australia, parenting has shifted — along with society itself. Today's mums and dads are more likely to encourage emotional openness, validate feelings, and promote mental health than they are to enforce strict discipline. And while many applaud the change, not everyone is convinced it's for the better. If you've heard your parents mutter under their breath, 'Back in my day …', you're not alone. Most of us know, there's a very clear divide between Boomer and Millennial generations regarding parenting styles and approaches to discipline. A generational tug of war over toughness According to Great Aussie Debate, a wide-ranging survey of more than 54,000 Australians that has uncovered what people really think about all the hot topics of 2025, 80.2 per cent of Aussies believe kids today are 'too soft' and need more 'tough love' to prepare them for the real world. The national survey, which polled Aussies across all age groups and states, shows a sharp generational split on parenting styles. Older Aussies are overwhelmingly in favour of firmer discipline, while younger respondents lean towards emotional support and self- expression. While younger generations may value mental health and gentle parenting, the majority of Australians believe we've taken softness a bit too far. Support for the 'tough love' approach climbs steadily with age, peaking at 88.55 per cent among those aged 70 and over. In contrast, 30.23 per cent of 18 to 29 year olds think kids today are actually being raised right — with more emphasis on expressing emotions and understanding their mental wellbeing. Millennial parents are currently in the spotlight as they navigate the terrain of modern-day parenting. As children of the 1980s, they were parented in a particular way, which was an authoritative approach, including smacks, time-outs, and shame. 'So much empathy for Millennial parents' Millennial parents are rebelling. And it's not to cast shade on our parents; it's because we now know more and can access it with a few clicks. Genevieve Muir, parenting expert and author of Little People Big Feelings, explains that 'decades of research has shown that positive, warm, consistent parenting leads to better mental health, better social skills, and better academic outcomes'. 'So pretty much everything you want for your kid will come from this kind of style of parenting,' she told 'Authoritarian is what was done to most of us. You know, if needed, get a smacked bottom. And would get sent to my room. That was what our parents did. They did the best they could,' the parent educator and mother of four boys added. 'Millennial parents are looking at that and saying, look, the evidence is showing that if we can raise kids in a way that is kind but also firm, that's the best outcome for kids.' So, does she believe that parents have gone soft on kids? The short answer is no. 'I work with thousands of parents, and the biggest issue they're struggling with is boundaries. And it's not because they're all soft and they're failing, it's because they're trying to do something different to the way that they were raised,' Ms Muir said. 'And they're getting the pushback, and obviously, we don't want it punished in the same way.' She also has a great deal of empathy and praise for Millennial parents, who are embracing a new way forward as gentle parents but do not really understand how gentle parenting and boundaries come together. 'So there is a gap for Millennial parents where they're being told what not to do, but no one's really helping them with how you do it. And that's really, truly as simple as Millennial parents knowing that it's okay to say no,' Ms Muir, who is the founder of Connected Parenting, said. 'Now, that's very different from what our parents did. They said no, and you'll get sent to your room if you show emotion. 'So we learned not to arc up and not to push back, but that wasn't a good thing because we didn't learn how to let go of those emotions. We learned how to push them down. And so now we scroll on social media, and we take antidepressants, and we talk to our therapists.' 'Kids don't need us to get this done perfectly' Any Millennial parent will attest that it is not that they are content with having children misbehaving or pushing back on boundaries simply because we don't want to be an authoritarian figure. There is a desire to 'have it all' – parent with kindness while also having children who listen. And it can happen. 'The term gentle parenting misled parents a little bit, thinking it's always got to be gentle,' Ms Muir shared. 'But what they're doing is absolutely incredible. And yes, it's flawed, but parenting is flawed. And the good news is that kids don't need us to get this done perfectly. They need us to get this stuff right around 30 per cent of the time so we can really lower that pressure on parents.' Speaking to grandmother of four, Diana, she agrees that 'kids are harder to parent these days', saying they can't be disciplined the way they used to. 'Even the kids know their parents can't do that,' the 65-year-old added. 'I do think that with the increase in technology, it has made it harder; screen addiction for both parents and kids makes connection even harder.' Mother of three, Jade, weighed in, telling 'My parents tell me that I was never like this, and while I'd love to believe I was perfect, I think they have forgotten. I saw my parents differently from how my kids looked at me. They were 'in charge' and knew there was a punishment.' She added: 'My kids don't have that worry. And while that is a comfort in some way, I wish my kids would respect my boundaries without me falling back into a disciplinarian role.' Cancel culture meets the playground Cancel culture and 'wokeness' might serve as another explanation behind the generational divide. At the same time, 78.4 per cent of Great Aussie Debate respondents say Australia has become 'too woke', citing rising social sensitivity, cancel culture, and political correctness as evidence that the country is losing its sense of resilience and freedom of expression. The overlap between these two sentiments is striking: as views on parenting soften, backlash grows among those who feel traditional values like discipline, grit, and resilience are being replaced by hypersensitivity and fear of offence. As parenting experts have shared, gentle parenting isn't just about giving in all the time. What should Millennial parents do if their parents are questioning the 'new way' of parenting? Ms Muir has invaluable advice. 'I always say, start with 'thank you'. And let me explain that. 'Thank you so much. Like, I really appreciate, you know, that you're here and you care. You are giving your opinion because you love us. And we love that you love us',' she advised 'Because I think grandparents are really important, I also think they didn't know what they didn't know. So we've got to come from a place of compassion. But from there, if we start with thank you, I really appreciate that you care, and then we can tell them what would be helpful.' Many older Aussies believe modern parenting is too soft, whether they're nostalgic for 'the good old days' or concerned about the future. But critics of tough love argue that building emotionally intelligent kids is key to navigating today's world — one that is very different from the one their parents grew up in.
