25-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Examiner
Lighten Up: Liz Hurley falls for the cowboy and that's great news for farmers
I have great news today. I can hardly contain myself. Liz Hurley, the raving beauty of stage and screen, has fallen for a cowboy ... a famous American cowboy, by all accounts, but that's irrelevant.
The fact remains: Her head was turned by a country boy, and not some city yahoo with a fancy mobile telephone and slicked back hair.
A source close to Liz said: "She likes the whole cowboy thing." Isn't that wonderful?
Liz clearly has her head well screwed on. How well it was a cowboy she fell for and not a sheep, goat, bull, or silage boy? Liz knows which side her bread is buttered on.
She fell for a cowboy because, unlike you and me, he can give a movie star queen the life she richly deserves
That monthly milk cheque from the co-op, the price he is now getting for dropped calves, and the serious money being offered for cull cows are all reasons I suspect for the blossoming romance.
Liz took one look at the milk and mart cheques and said: "Oh boy!"
She was smitten. She was putty in his farming hands from that moment on ... she didn't even need to see his single farm payment.
Upper hand
The cowboy, you see, has had the upper hand on us all for many years.
The abolition of the milk quota back in 2015 was only the beginning of the milk boy's golden age.
Like a lively greyhound at Curraheen Park on Saturday night, the lifting of quotas was like the quick opening of the traps at the start of a race.
From that moment on, he was gone. Gone down the track like Born Slippy. Blazing a trail like nobody else in the world. There was no stopping him.
It's no wonder Liz fell for a cowboy; the only surprise is that more movie starlets aren't following suit.
I myself milked cows for many years, but alas, I gave up before Liz called.
If only I had known, I would have held onto the milk cluster and Cheno Unction a little longer
My milking stall wasn't great, and my back was broken from stooping down, but I wonder if Liz really cares?
The cows are clearly the lure. The premises and the State of my back, merely a means to an end. Even with my bent back, I could have been a contender.
But no, I sold my 20 cows in haste and lost the fair hand of Liz Hurley to another man.
Sometimes, you'd have to wonder if there are any depths to the level of my stupidity.
Anyhow, I will just have to move on and put such mistakes in life behind me.
For regrets in life, they are like last year's silage bales — they are better off left where they are.
"So, how many cows does Liz's new boyfriend actually milk?" You might cry. The simple answer here is: I don't know.
All I do know is that his name is Billy Ray Cyrus and he is a cowboy.
"And is he any relation to the Healy-Rae's of Kilgarvan?" you might then ask, for you can be mighty inquisitive on occasions.
I don't know the answer to that either, for I am not privy to the Hollywood gossip interest lies solely in farming and all affairs attached to it.
But if I had to guess, I would presume there is some connection. for the Healy-Rae's are a mighty family, with relations in every parish from here to Gneeveguilla.
All I do know right now is that Liz has fallen for a cowboy named Billy Ray Cyrus, and this surely gives a fellow who is committed to the life of the cow a reason to be cheerful today.
