Latest news with #Hufflepuff
Daily Mirror
13-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mirror
Modest townhouse home to unexpected Harry Potter magic inside
Tucked away in a quiet cul-de-sac, a three-storey pebbledash townhouse blends seamlessly with its neighbours - but once you step inside, it's obvious it's a world apart. As you open the door to the light-filled hallway, you're welcomed by a duplicate of the iconic Platform 9 3⁄4, devised by JK Rowling in her phenomenally successful Harry Potter series. The tale of the young wizard unfolded over seven books, which were subsequently adapted into eight blockbuster films at Leavesden Studios in London. After the film production wrapped up, a studio tour was launched, offering fans an insider's view into the making of the movies, complete with detailed sets and original props. To celebrate my niece's 10th birthday, we organised a surprise trip to London to experience the tour and let her live out all her Hufflepuff fantasies. My sister-in-law discovered The Wizarding House on Airbnb, a townhouse that has been meticulously transformed into a stylish and chic homage to all things Harry Potter. The faux Platform 9 3⁄4 in the entrance is just the beginning, and it sets the scene perfectly. It even features suitcases vanishing halfway through the wall as though they're journeying into the magical wizarding world. The ground floor houses a spacious kitchen-diner. With its soothing grey floor tiles, light grey cupboards and a blue kitchen island, the references to the beloved franchise are more understated here, but no less impactful. A hefty wooden table seating eight is flanked by fabric banners representing the Hogwarts Houses, as well as a large framed print of the iconic school. A model of the Hogwarts Express - the red and black locomotive that transports students to their lessons in the colossal castle - is displayed in a glass case. Underneath the staircase, there's a cupboard which flawlessly replicates Harry Potter's pitiful excuse for a bedroom during his time with his heartless aunt and uncle, the Dursleys. It even features potion books and Harry's miniature army figures. The meticulous attention to detail is striking - the melamine cups are colour-coded to match the Hogwarts houses of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin - and even the plates and utensils storage jar bear Harry Potter themes. French doors open onto a spacious, tranquil garden rounding off the ground floor. Ascending upstairs, the corridor is decked out with paintings, wands and signs evoking the revered corridors of Hogwarts. On the first floor lies the living room, modelled after Sirius Black's ancestral home at 12 Grimmauld Place, complete with a wallpaper replica of the Black family tree tapestry - right down to certain members' faces being blotted out in black. There's a large, snug corner sofa, spellbooks, Lego models and more to thrill any Harry Potter enthusiast. The bedroom on this level is styled in the vein of Slytherin - think moody black and dark green hues with plenty of references to the serpent. The top floor boasts two more bedrooms - one inspired by Gryffindor and the other by the 'avis' spell which summons birds - both of which are utterly enchanting. The Gryffindor room is filled with a collection of wands and numerous props that pay homage to the magical universe. The shower room on this level is designed in the style of the Ministry of Magic, featuring forest green tiles with black grout, and an abundance of 'wanted' posters. We were absolutely amazed by the meticulous attention to detail in the décor and styling - especially my niece, who was completely captivated by every single element and twist. I don't think I've ever seen her quite so excited. The hosts even organised balloons and a message mimicking the Hogwarts acceptance letter to welcome her to the property, a truly thoughtful, sweet gesture that enhanced her experience. The Airbnb is just a 15-minute stroll from the Warner Bros. Studio Tour in Leavesden, making it ideally located for those eager to have a home away from home while completing the tour. I'd certainly recommend booking for the Harry Potter enthusiasts in your life.
The Independent
04-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Independent
SNL mocks Trump's use of executive orders: ‘Reduce the number of interracial couples in TV commercials'
Saturday Night Live 's cold open mocked President Donald Trump's first hundred days in office, poking fun at the commander-in-chief's numerous executive orders and desire to become Pope. James Austin Johnson returned to the screen as Trump and Mikey Day played Stephen Miller, the president's deputy chief of staff. 'Your favorite president and perhaps your next Pope!' Johnson said, starting the skit. 'It's been 100 years since I became me, days. Wow, feels longer.' He continued saying his most recent accomplishments have helped people win elections, mostly in Canada. Johnson then started discussing the more than 140 executive orders the president has signed in his second term, including banning paper straws and defunding PBS. 'I understand Elmo has now been apprehended by ICE,' Johnson quipped. 'Brought to you by the letter L for El Salvador. He's not coming back.' The Trump character then introduced Miller, whom Johnson referred to as the 'Lord of the Shadows.' After the audience applauded, Day started handing Johnson executive orders for his signature on bringing back Columbus Day, a pardon for author J.K. Rowling and reducing the number of interracial couples in TV commercials. 'It's just too many, right?' Johnson said of the commercials. 'You see them in the kitchen together, making a meal from Hello Fresh. He's wearing loafers, she's got tight braids. You're like, 'Where'd they meet? What do they even talk about?' It's insane.' The comments were followed by another executive order that would make it socially acceptable for a man in his 70s to date a 24-year-old. 'That's right. We're calling it the Belichick law,' said Johnson, referencing former NFL coach Bill Belichick's relationship with Jordon Hudson. Johnson then turns to Day and asks, 'Did you see Belichick's girlfriend? She's pretty hot, right?' Day responds, 'Yes, she is a beautiful creature.' Johnson replies: 'God, you're creepy. This is why we don't hang out outside of work.' Johnson's character got a big laugh for his remarks after Day brought out the executive order pardoning Rowling. 'We love Jackie,' the actor said. 'You know, she created a whole wizarding world, a wonderful place for overweight millennials to stake their entire identity well past the point of being cute. 'I'm a Hufflepuff.' No b****, you work at Staples.' Marcello Hernandez then joined the duo as Secretary of State Marco Rubio for the signing of yet another executive order. 'Come on in, little Marco, you're gonna love this,' said Johnson. 'This order, I believe, forbids all Hispanic babies from getting their ears pierced. Believe this was Marco's idea.' 'No, it wasn't,' Hernandez responded. 'Yes it was,' said Johnson. 'Sorry, little Marcella, sorry, Valentina, it's clip-ons for you from now no bueno, right, Marco? 'Si, sir,' Hernandez replies before storming off stage. Johnson then signs a few more orders making the New York Times connections game easier, shortening the word recession to recess and outlawing ghosts. 'You know, every Christmas Eve I get visited by three ghosts,' Johnson said. 'I don't know what the hell they're talking about. They're like, 'Sir, you have to change. You have to change. You did bad things, and you have to change.' And I'm like, 'Stop rattling those chains, okay? I'm trying to enjoy my dark, lonely Christmas Eve.' Sabrina Carpenter joined 4'11 tall host Quinta Brunson to celebrate their short stature as the comic hosted Saturday Night Live. Brunson mocked her height during her monologue, joking that she is so small they wanted to cast her 'as a kid on Abbott Elementary and I wrote that.' 'Being short is amazing. Being short is just fine,' she sang.' I'm a cheap date because I get wasted off of one glass of wine. I like being tiny because there's nothing wrong with being 4'11 and talking about it in a song. Nothing wrong with being short.' Pop star Carpenter, who is also diminutive, then joined her on stage. 'I mean, you were talking about being short, so I thought I'd stop by,' she told the audience. They were then joined on stage by NBA great Dwayne Wade, who towered over them. 'Well, I was just in the audience, and I heard your song about being short, and I felt safe, yeah, but I'm 6'4 in like basketball world, it's like 4'10 Shaq's, like 7'1. I just really want to be in a song.'
The Guardian
04-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Saturday Night Live: Quinta Brunson is a reliable host for decent episode
The first of the final three episodes of Saturday Night Live's historic 50th season kick off inside the Oval Office, where Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) celebrates the first 100 days of his second term. In that short time that feels like a much longer, he's single-handedly managed to help people win elections ('Mostly in Canada') and signed 147 executive orders. To that end, he brings out White House deputy chief of staff and 'lord of the shadows' Stephen Miller (Mikey Day) who hands him a number of new orders to sign, including ones that bring back Columbus Day, reduce the number of interracial couples in TV commercials, make it socially acceptable for a man in his '70s to date a 24 year old ('We're calling it the Belichick law'), and a pardon for JK Rowling. That last bit begets the funniest line of the segment – 'I'm a Hufflepuff … no, bitch, you work at Staples' – but the fact that it's directed purely at cringey Harry Potter fans and not Rowling's repulsive transphobia is indicative of SNL's blunted approach much of the time. The same can be said of its depiction of Miller as a stoic villain rather than the sweaty creep he actually comes off as, or Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernández) as the exhausted adult in the room. Granted, Rubio is one of the administrations whipping boys, but he is no less extreme or incompetent than Trump, so this caricature feels too sympathetic. This cold open, which wraps up abruptly, is lacking, especially when compared to the superior Trump Easter sketch from just a few weeks back. Quinta Brunson hosts for the second time. The Abbott Elementary star/creator pokes fun at her diminutive statue – 4'11 – singing a showtune in honor of other short celebs, including Sabrina Carpenter, who makes a surprise appearance. After a few corny jokes ('When you eat a short rib, does it just taste like rib?') they're also joined by NBA star Dwyane Wade, who despite being 6'4 is still kind of short by basketball standards. SNL certainly seems to be all in on Carpenter this season, to the point where it's coming off as forced. In the first sketch, we catch a cable broadcast of the conclusion of '80s time-travel stoner comedy Will & Todd's Radical Experience. The slacker heroes (Hernández and Andrew Dismukes) say goodbye to a cast of historical figures, including Harriet Tubman (Brunson) and Frederick Douglass (Kenan Thompson), who refuse to get back into the time traveling phone booth and return to the days of slavery. A half-clever idea with zero laughs. OnlySeniors is a life insurance policy for otherwise uncoverable old folks in this economy. It's an aged spin on OnlyFans, where seniors perform various dirty acts for their 'chat babies'. The best bit sees Brunson's elderly mom fly off the handle at her shocked daughter, only for her husband to calm her down with the help of a remote-controlled vibrator. Overall, this is a much tamer version of a very similar Shane Gillis sketch from his web series. At a corporate leadership summit, the speakers explain how to use a 'compliment sandwich' – saying a negative thing in between two positive things – to critique an employee's performance. Straight away, members of the audience test this out on their coworkers: 'Jessica, you're a hard worker, your kids are ugly, you're good at the computer'; 'Liz, I think you're beautiful, you're bad at the computer, I'd like you to wear shorter things'. The sketch completely loses the thread about halfway through, devolving into one random and overly quirky bit after another. Next up is a new installment of the road rage hand gestures sketch. Once again, Day and Chloe Fineman play a father and daughter pair who get into it with the driver next to them. This time, both parties are parked in a ferry boat. An argument ensues over how far over the line Brunson's motorist is, leading to lots of psychotic and sexually graphic – especially from Fineman's teen – gesticulation. Colin Jost shows up as himself in the closing moments, begging the drivers to buy the ferry, which turns out to be the one he and former cast member Pete Davidson purchased several years back. Forever 31 is a new clothing brand for 'stylish, but tired' young women who have aged out of being 'Coachella whores'. These loose-fitting garments come in a variety of styles – 'Big Loose Suit', 'Big Ass Suit', 'Big Ol' David Byrne' – and 'every color of the bummer rainbow'. A harsh send-up of aging Gen-Zers, although not nearly as brutal as the similarly themed Mom's Jeans sketch from 2003. A recent internet meme went viral for asking who would win in a fight between 100 men and one gorilla. SNL presents another scenario for consideration: Two Bitches v a Gorilla. Brunson and Ego Nwodim play the bitches in question, two zoo goers who wind up inside the gorilla enclosure. They are not intimidated by their giant foe, hurling threats ('You think this is the first time I fought a 400-lb bitch? I used to work at a Lane Bryant'), insults ('You up here on all fours looking like the L, G, B, T and the Q'), and singing They Not Like Us, before being torn apart. Credit to the performers for rolling through a ton of tricky dialog at a breakneck clip. Musical guest Benson Boone does a backflip off a podium and briefly serenades Brunson before performing his first song. On Weekend Update, Jost starts out by sharing Trump's AI generated image of himself as the Pope ('Apparently ordering a one-way ticket to hell'). Speaking of the Pope, Michael Che notes there's speculation that the new one may hail from Africa, 'Which means he'll have to travel over Colin's dead body.' Jost then welcomes on cast member Michael Longfellow to discuss newly required Real IDs. Longfellow smugly declares that he won't get one: 'You know where I'd rather be than the DMV? In the hospital with a bullet in my penis.' Reminded that he won't be able to fly without one, he scoffs, 'Honey, it's 2025, planes are barely allowed to fly.' Another good performance by Longfellow, who's better as himself at the Update desk than he is in character sketches. Later, Che brings on Applebee's bar flies Darlene (Sarah Sherman) and Duke (Bowen Yang) to comment on the spate of casual restaurant chains declaring bankruptcy. You would be hard-pressed to pick to cast members more ill-suited to play blue-collar suburban boozers and it shows, with Yang breaking character after calling someone a 'Fudd-raggit'. Boone pops in as their waiter and helps them sing the Applebee's theme song. At a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, a new member (Thompson) who has recently moved to town uses his sharing time to get the low down on where and how to score cocaine – or, as he alternatively refers to it, 'sniff', 'flake', 'toot', and 'booger sugar'. An enjoyably dark premise and some decent drug humor make this one entertaining, but it peters out. Boone returns to the stage for his second set, before the episode wraps up with a historical sports show. We look back at the career of Jerry 'Jackrabbit' Tulane (Brunson in a mustache). We watch a couple of pre-fight press conference where Tulane talks smack on his much larger opponent, Muhammed Ali-style, before subsequently getting knocked, literally, out of the ring. By the final press conference, Tulane is so punch drunk he thinks he's Elizabeth Taylor. Fun stuff. An decent episode during this season's final run of episodes – Brunson is a solid and reliable host – although if the next couple of episodes are of the same quality, the 50th season will go out on a whimper instead of a bang.
The Independent
04-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Independent
‘SNL' cold open mocks Trump's use of executive orders: ‘Reduce the number of interracial couples in TV commercials'
Saturday Night Live 's cold open mocked President Donald Trump's first hundred days in office, poking fun at the commander-in-chief's numerous executive orders and desire to become Pope. James Austin Johnson returned to the screen as Trump and Mikey Day played Stephen Miller, the president's deputy chief of staff. 'Your favorite president and perhaps your next Pope!' Johnson said, starting the skit. 'It's been 100 years since I became me, days. Wow, feels longer.' He continued saying his most recent accomplishments have helped people win elections, mostly in Canada. Johnson then started discussing the more than 140 executive orders the president has signed in his second term, including banning paper straws and defunding PBS. 'I understand Elmo has now been apprehended by ICE,' Johnson quipped. 'Brought to you by the letter L for El Salvador. He's not coming back.' The Trump character then introduced Miller, whom Johnson referred to as the 'Lord of the Shadows.' After the audience applauded, Day started handing Johnson executive orders for his signature on bringing back Columbus Day, a pardon for author J.K. Rowling and reducing the number of interracial couples in TV commercials. 'It's just too many, right?' Johnson said of the commercials. 'You see them in the kitchen together, making a meal from Hello Fresh. He's wearing loafers, she's got tight braids. You're like, 'Where'd they meet? What do they even talk about?' It's insane.' The comments were followed by another executive order that would make it socially acceptable for a man in his 70s to date a 24-year-old. 'That's right. We're calling it the Belichick law,' said Johnson, referencing former NFL coach Bill Belichick's relationship with Jordon Hudson. Johnson then turns to Day and asks, 'Did you see Belichick's girlfriend? She's pretty hot, right?' Day responds, 'Yes, she is a beautiful creature.' Johnson replies: 'God, you're creepy. This is why we don't hang out outside of work.' Johnson's character got a big laugh for his remarks after Day brought out the executive order pardoning Rowling. 'We love Jackie,' the actor said. 'You know, she created a whole wizarding world, a wonderful place for overweight millennials to stake their entire identity well past the point of being cute. 'I'm a Hufflepuff.' No b****, you work at Staples.' Marcello Hernandez then joined the duo as Secretary of State Marco Rubio for the signing of yet another executive order. 'Come on in, little Marco, you're gonna love this,' said Johnson. 'This order, I believe, forbids all Hispanic babies from getting their ears pierced. Believe this was Marco's idea.' 'No, it wasn't,' Hernandez responded. 'Yes it was,' said Johnson. 'Sorry, little Marcella, sorry, Valentina, it's clip-ons for you from now no bueno, right, Marco? 'Si, sir,' Hernandez replies before storming off stage. Johnson then signs a few more orders making the New York Times connections game easier, shortening the word recession to recess and outlawing ghosts. 'You know, every Christmas Eve I get visited by three ghosts,' Johnson said. 'I don't know what the hell they're talking about. They're like, 'Sir, you have to change. You have to change. You did bad things, and you have to change.' And I'm like, 'Stop rattling those chains, okay? I'm trying to enjoy my dark, lonely Christmas Eve.' Sabrina Carpenter joined 4'11 tall host Quinta Brunson to celebrate their short stature as the comic hosted Saturday Night Live. Brunson mocked her height during her monologue, joking that she is so small they wanted to cast her 'as a kid on Abbott Elementary and I wrote that.' 'Being short is amazing. Being short is just fine,' she sang.' I'm a cheap date because I get wasted off of one glass of wine. I like being tiny because there's nothing wrong with being 4'11 and talking about it in a song. Nothing wrong with being short.' Pop star Carpenter, who is also diminutive, then joined her on stage. 'I mean, you were talking about being short, so I thought I'd stop by,' she told the audience. They were then joined on stage by NBA great Dwayne Wade, who towered over them. 'Well, I was just in the audience, and I heard your song about being short, and I felt safe, yeah, but I'm 6'4 in like basketball world, it's like 4'10 Shaq's, like 7'1. I just really want to be in a song.'
The Guardian
25-04-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
May the force be with you! How to save every tired TV superfranchise, from Star Wars to Game of Thrones
It's amazing to think that, not so very long ago, people were actually excited at the prospect of a new Star Wars show. Or when it emerged that a fresh Lord of the Rings saga was, through some kind of Gandalfian wizardry, being squeezed on to the small screen, the reaction was one of giddy awe. Even the faintest whisper of another trip to Hogwarts would have set the whole internet ablaze. And now? Well, here's a test: there's a new Harry Potter series coming out soon. How does that make you feel? Exactly. There's no doubt about it – a worrying number of what used to be the world's most untouchable franchises are in trouble. But how did they arrive at this point of terminal audience ennui? And is there any route for them back into our hearts? The problem: even more Potter? You cannot be Sirius Since HBO announced its new, apparently very exciting and definitely necessary adaptation of JK Rowling's books, starring John Lithgow as Dumbledore, Paapa Essiedu as Snape and Nick Frost as Hagrid, reaction has been more muted than they were perhaps hoping. Despite that excellent cast, and even putting aside the author's own personal journey from Hufflepuff to Slytherin, it isn't hard to see why. Since the film series ended in 2011, we've had three Fantastic Beasts movies, a perennial stage play, more video games than you can waggle a Horcrux at and, for reasons no one adequately explained, a baking show. The boy who lived is still everywhere – there's probably one of the films on ITV2 right now, go and check. See? Told you. If there is to be a tipping point that sends the already wobbly house of cards toppling over for good, a pointless TV reboot feels as though it could be it. The solution: a transmogrify spell! To justify its own existence, Potter the series needs to be recklessly brave, utterly unrecognisable from what came before – a departure of such magnitude that the movies are thereafter considered a quaint trial run from a more innocent age. Imagine a full-blown supernatural horror, blood and guts and swearing and all, set in the scariest haunted house imaginable: a creepy old school in which Dick Solomon from 3rd Rock from the Sun has a distressingly large beard. Every episode should be directed by a different horror auteur – Mike Flanagan, Coralie Fargeat, Osgood Perkins. Children may be traumatised; this could prove to be a costly failure. But imagine if it wasn't. Imagine it. The problem: it finds your lack of faith disturbing After Disney splashed $4.05bn (£2.5bn) on the brand in 2012, it was clear that it would need to milk that cash cow for every last drop. And lo, after five rushed-out movies came a slew of TV shows: The Mandalorian, The Book of Boba Fett, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Andor, Ahsoka, The Acolyte, Skeleton Crew – and those were just the live-action ones. If you were a card-carrying Star Wars nerd, this was fantastic. You had a deep understanding of what was going on in each show. But casual viewers – somehow expected to know and care that Rosario Dawson was Darth Vader's old apprentice in Ahsoka, for instance – were left baffled. Shockingly, catering exclusively to the diehards ended up putting a lot of people off. The Acolyte was swiftly cancelled amid an unedifying if sadly predictable flurry of racism and misogyny directed at its lead, Amandla Stenberg; then Skeleton Crew, despite essentially being Space Goonies with Jude Law as Sloth, debuted to even worse ratings than that. Beyond Andor's second and final season, which if it's even half as good as the first will still be essential viewing, everyone's got a very bad feeling about this. The solution: go far, far away Even Star Wars's biggest devotees must admit that the brand needs to be rested. And when it comes back, it cannot continue to demand that audiences have a PhD in advanced convention attendance to understand who everybody is, where they are, what they're doing and why. People have jobs, other interests, families. Disney needs to operate a strict policy of one show at a time, and pour every resource into it; a new, accessible, unmissable story. No more prequels. No more reliance on exclusionary, esoteric lore. Make something good and people will come: Band of Brothers in space; Natasha Lyonne as a wisecracking podracer; Breaking Bad but with strung-out Ewoks – it really isn't that hard. The problem: it's as dull as Bilbo's butter knife When the prequel to The Lord of the Rings, The Rings of Power, debuted in 2022, opinion was divided between 'spectacular, wow, just wow' and 'so dull it made all my children cry'. Both opinions were correct. None of this was helped by top-o'-the-morning accents that were somehow equally offensive to hobbits and the Irish, and the unavoidable influence of 'prequelitis', the tension-robbing knowledge of who lives and who dies – so really, who cares what happens? Last year's comparatively spry, action-packed second season, with nary a culturally insensitive harfoot in sight, was an improvement, but by then the damage was done: reports put the drop-off in viewership between the first and second seasons at an eye-watering 60%. At a cost of £50m an episode, this isn't a trend even Amazon can sustain for long. Something has to give. The solution: reforge the Rings of Power Plenty of shows, from The Office to Parks and Recreation, went on to thrive after a duff first season. They did, however, hit the ground running in season two in a way The Rings of Power didn't, making the hill it needs to climb that much steeper. What's required here is something more drastic: a soft reboot. Keep the cast, characters and broad narrative of The Rings of Power, but change the name to something cool – The War of the Rings? – and pitch the third season as a new(ish) tale that requires no prior knowledge. Thrust newcomers headlong into the battle between good and evil The Rings of Power has been languidly leading up to. Sauron's bad. Gandalf's good. People will pick that up. Treat The Rings of Power as an optional prequel, make this 'new' show propulsive and addictive, and boom: you've got the world's first $1bn sleeper hit on your hands. The problem: my, how you've grownThe final season of the Duffer Brothers' adolescent-culling megasmash arrives this autumn, and every sentient being in the observable universe is going to watch it, so this is hardly a franchise on the ropes in terms of popularity. But its legacy? That is on far shakier ground. Each successive series has been bigger, more ambitious, more outlandish than the last, culminating in season four's crop of bumper-length episodes (the finale was a bum-numbing two-and-a-half hours). It was loud and exciting but bloated, confusing, not remotely scary, and so far removed from the focused Spielbergian chills of the first season that, side by side, they are completely different shows. For all its fireworks, and beyond the unexpected Kate Bush renaissance and the death of a certain Metallica-loving perm enthusiast, season four was a flabby, wayward mess. Season five has been described by star Maya Hawke as 'basically eight movies'. Oh dear. The solution: flip everything back upside-downThe only way to guarantee the show bows out on a high is for it to return to where it all began: a back-to-basics horror story akin to season one – the tight, intimate spooks that got everyone hooked in the first place. If it is indeed 'eight movies', make them eight suburban horror tales, scarier and nastier than they have any real reason to be. Let us look back on Stranger Things as it was – the scrappy, retro creep-em-up that conquered the planet, not the overblown apocalyptic epic it swelled into. More importantly, and for the love of God, please give Barb the long-overdue justice she deserves. The problem: no one has the faintest clue what's happening Which multiverse is the correct one? Is it the one we're in right now? Or is this another dream/simulation? What phase even is it? Post-Endgame? Pre? Wait, who's that? Oh, it's wossname, that one there, your fella, with the shiny hat, Loki … no wait … is it? … Captain America …? … No, that's … is She-Hulk even canon, or is it like Deadpool? … tired … confused … everyone's so very, very confused … The solution: a click of the fingers Arbitrarily cancel 50% of all in-development Marvel shows. Then bring back the brilliant Jessica Jones, you cowards. Done. Next. The problem: against cancellation, resistance is futile Trek's faithful have faced some choppy, erm, space over the past eight years. They've had Star Trek: Discovery (good, then so-so, then cancelled), Strange New Worlds (good, then better, not yet cancelled), Lower Decks (great, cancelled), Prodigy (great, cancelled), Picard (so-so, cringe, excellent, a dignified exit) and the recent TV movie, Section 31 (like watching the smell of sick). In addition to the lone survivor, Strange New Worlds, there is the upcoming, Holly Hunter-starring Starfleet Academy (TBD). Based on what's gone before, you wouldn't bet on either of them lasting long. The solution: to boldly go where Trek has been before – Netflix and Prime Video Modern Trek shows are big, shiny, expensive things. Such endeavours clearly need to cast their net as widely as possible, and the relatively niche Paramount+ simply is not an environment in which they can do that. All those cancelled shows, even the animated Prodigy and Lower Decks, were scuttled because their audiences simply weren't solid enough to warrant their production costs. Discovery was more than £6m an episode. But Picard debuted on Prime Video. Discovery was on Netflix before ViacomCBS, now Paramount Global, bought back the rights in 2021. Prodigy is on Netflix right now. This isn't a massive stretch. In order for Trek to live long and prosper, Paramount has to suck it up, sign another co-production deal with one of these, and get Trek beamed back into as many living rooms as possible. Only then might it Klingon (so very, very sorry). The problem: Westeros? More like Westerozzzzzz No need for a spoiler alert regarding the events of season two of Thrones spin-off House of the Dragon, because there weren't any. A family, all of whom have identical hair and the same name, talk about having a war with another family, all of whom have identical hair and the same name. A dragon commits fratricide. Matt Smith has some dreams in a bed. That's it. The show has now spent 18 episodes apparently leading up to something thrilling, but if you were asked to name five gobsmacking moments, could you really say yes? The solution: reclaim the water cooler The original Thrones was essential appointment TV the likes of which we may never see again; something you couldn't wait to talk to someone – anyone, friend, stranger, foe, alarmed man at bus stop – about. The Red Wedding blew minds. Spoilers ended lifelong friendships. People held viewing parties for season finales, and named their kids after characters who went on to have sex with blood relatives, or become mass-murdering maniacs, or both. House of the Dragon is a decent fantasy drama, nothing more. It's too far gone to turn things round on its own. There's another spin-off due later this year – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms – and it's this that bears the weight of the entire Thrones brand on its shoulders. If it can somehow rebottle the lightning that made the series a global smash – Betrayals! Twists! Deaths! Surprises! Things actually happening! – it could restoke the fire in the bellies of millions of lapsed Westeros obsessives. It is, however, based on a series of novellas called Tales of Dunk and Egg. Things aren't looking all that promising, to be honest.
