Latest news with #JamilaMusayeva
Time Magazine
29-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Time Magazine
The Worst Way to Reply to a Party Invite
There are two straightforward—and simple—ways to respond to social invitations: Tell the host you'll be there, or that you won't be. Yet people find all kinds of offensive ways to reply instead. The worst one of all is becoming increasingly common, especially by text, says Jamila Musayeva, an etiquette coach who posts videos about modern manners on YouTube. She's lost track of the number of times someone has responded to an invite by asking who else will be there—which is code for questioning whether it's actually going to be any fun. (It's even more insulting than asking what kind of food will be served.) 'It's usually like, 'I won't come unless there's someone there I want to see,'' she says. 'It's degrading the whole experience to just wanting to hang out with one person,' or a specific group of potential guests who are…not the person issuing the invite. No wonder hosts take this kind of response personally. Musayeva equates it to saying: 'You're not interesting; I don't want to be entertained by you. I'm more interested in who's coming.' If the guest list doesn't impress, no big deal—a better offer likely awaits. 'It's definitely something you should never, ever say,' she says. If you must find out who's going in advance, do some subtle research on the side: Maybe send a private message to a friend and ask if they're privy to any additional details about the party. Just make sure that detective work doesn't travel back to the host. When RSVPs go MIA Implying that there's more fun to be had elsewhere isn't the only way you can botch your response to a social invitation. Being super vague about your plans—'Maybe I'll stop by'—or not bothering to respond at all puts the host in a tough spot, and will likely get you kicked off future invite lists. 'When you RSVP 'no,' you're doing the host a favor,' says etiquette teacher Lisa Mirza Grotts. 'Clarity is kinder than a 'maybe.'' If you're truly not sure if you can make an event, she suggests wording your response like this: 'I'd love to come, but I know what it's like to be a host, and I know you need answers. I don't want to leave you hanging.' See how your friend responds, Grotts says: They might tell you they don't mind if you play it by ear, or agree that it's best to count you out this time so they can finalize the catering order. Either way, you'll be on the same page, and no one will be waiting around, unable to sort out plans. Another way to avoid the infuriating question-mark response is to specify exactly when you'll get back to the host, even if they didn't mention an RSVP date. If a neighbor asks your family to come over for a cookout, for example, you might respond: 'Hey, could I get back to you on Friday?' 'Now your host knows they can check in with you on Saturday if they haven't heard from you by Friday,' says etiquette expert Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute. 'You've talked about it, you've had a little exchange, you've acknowledged it. Acknowledgement is such a huge part of playing a good guest, even when you're just in the role of being invited and aren't even at the party yet.' The way you treat an invitation speaks to how much you value your relationships. As Post says, an invite to watch the game, grab a drink, or attend a dinner party is someone's way of asking if you want to spend time together. 'Even if your true, internal reaction is that no, you really wouldn't like to, it is so nice that someone out in the world wants to spend time with you,' she says. Post suggests putting yourself in the host's shoes and proceeding with what she considers the three principles of etiquette: consideration, respect, and honesty. 'It's important to recognize that you would want people to get back to you in a timely fashion, so get back to your host in a timely fashion,' she says. 'We should treat our invitations with care, because they're the start of what connects us. They're the beginning of the way we create community.'
Yahoo
24-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
We Hope This Entertaining Trend Never Comes Back, and Hosts Agree
Over the years, the essence of hosting and entertaining centered around having more: more frills, more elegance, more formality. Going big with every aspect of an event felt expected until the last few years. These days, people are turning less toward perfection and more toward intimate, relaxed gatherings. We spoke to experts about why over-the-top entertaining is becoming a thing of the past, and what tips to keep in mind to ensure your event is memorable without the unnecessary Ramsay is a wedding and event planner and the owner of Lee Ramsay Events. Jamila Musayeva is a certified etiquette coach and author of "The Art of Entertaining at Home."In the past, multiple factors influenced why an event was flashy and opulent, often to prove high status and wealth to others. While there is still a desire to impress, today these ideas are seen as performative, making over-the-top events feel tacky and insincere. This doesn't mean an event has to be dull: Beauty and refinement will always have a place in the entertaining world, but they take on new meaning these days. "We find ourselves moving away from the performative, overly curated dinner party in favor of gatherings that feel intentional, lived-in, and emotionally resonant," says wedding and event planner Lee Ramsay. "Guests aren't craving showpieces; they're craving connection." The more we strive to create the "perfect" moment, the less likely we will enjoy ourselves or focus on our guests. While you may end up with some share-worthy photos, the moments captured feel less authentic. Thoughtful, small details like handwritten names on placecards Intimate gatherings (quality of guests over quantity) Layered, collected tables—mixing vintage glassware, handmade ceramics, and soft, organic linens Rigid seating charts Formality for formality's sake Party favors (these often end up discarded eventually) Want more design inspiration? Sign up for our free for the latest decor ideas, designer tips, and more! Even if you love to host, the responsibilities can be overwhelming. Trying to do it all without running yourself into the ground can feel like a balancing act; both our experts agree that the key is planning ahead. "Set the table the night before, prep and plate what you can, chill the drinks, cue the playlist, and even light the candles a few minutes before guests arrive," says Ramsay. Our experts also agree that delegating and allowing guests to help can make a huge difference. While you don't want anyone to feel obligated or pressured, if someone offers to help or asks what they can bring, be willing to let them. "Inviting others to contribute can make the gathering feel more intimate. A friend can bring dessert, your partner can be in charge of drinks, and even children can help by handing out napkins or writing place cards," says Jamila Musayeva, a certified etiquette coach. While your event likely has a theme, setting the mood for the event plays a big role in your guests' experience. "Ask yourself: how do I want my guests to feel? Every detail—light, scent, music, food, timing—should serve that emotional goal," says Ramsay. Generosity can take on many different methods, but ultimately, Ramsay states that it's your time and attention that you should be most generous with. For example, greeting guests at the door with their favorite drink lets each person feel considered and cared for. While you want an event to be memorable, sometimes the simple touches make the biggest impact. Ramsay suggests ending the night with warm cookies and tea instead of a flashy dessert, or leaving cozy shawls on the backs of couches or chairs for those who may get cold easily. Small details can set the tone and be thoughtful without overdoing it. When trying to create an enjoyable night, it's easy to pack in as many "moments" as possible to ensure no one is bored. However, this can backfire quickly, especially if you're running a tight schedule. "Never underestimate the power of pacing. The best hosts allow space for spontaneity—don't over-schedule the evening," says Ramsay. Spacing things out also gives you cushion time if something goes wrong and requires immediate attention, which is bound to happen at even the most well-executed event. Your guests will appreciate the chance to take in each moment rather than rushing on to the next thing. What is the most important thing you can do when hosting, according to our experts? Be present. You may have plenty on your plate, but it's important to take moments to connect and be part of the festivities, not just host them. "A gracious host doesn't need to be in the kitchen the whole time. Your presence, your smile, your attention, that's what guests remember," says Musayeva. Regardless of what you plan, your experience matters as much as anyone else's, especially to the other guests. Give yourself the chance to sit back and savor the moment; others will prefer the chance to spend time with you. Read the original article on The Spruce
