14 hours ago
How To Tell If A Friend Will Be A Good Travel Companion
Tourist women in Rome: by the Pantheon getty
Traveling with a friend can be a great way to strengthen your bond and create lifelong memories together—but it also involves logistics and shared decisions, adapting to one another's moods, and navigating unfamiliar and potentially stressful situations together.
'While traveling together can be a great way to deepen a friendship, it can also bring to the forefront differences that can pose a challenge during the trip and can threaten the future of the friendship,' said Janel Coleman, LMSW, NYC-based psychotherapist at Madison Square Psychotherapy. 'While travel is exciting, being in a new place requires more flexibility and patience. Difficult emotions may be harder to manage in unfamiliar places. If you notice behaviors or preferences that don't align with yours in places with lower stakes, the emotions or impact may feel heavier in a new location.'
'If you identify with wanting to keep the peace or 'people pleasing,' it may feel uncomfortable to voice concerns during a trip,' said Coleman. 'You may not want to be the person who is seen as complaining or bringing in negative energy. However, bringing things up earlier rather than later can help save the trip and prevent significant conflict or stress. Consider your tone, body language, the actual words, and timing when you bring up something that may be difficult to communicate or call out someone else's behaviors.'
Here's what conversations you'll want to have with a potential travel buddy before hitting the road together for the first time:
'Open conversations around daily activities and sightseeing preferences offer key insights into travel compatibility,' said Amrita Singh, owner of Chicago-based Beyond Travel Agency. Are you a morning explorer or a late-rising lounger? Do you prefer cultural landmarks or poolside relaxation? These discussions may seem minor, but mismatches in energy and intent can lead to dissatisfaction. Understanding whether you both enjoy packed days or slow wandering is a strong predictor of shared enjoyment.'
If this kind of alignment breaks down mid-trip, Coleman suggests bringing it up sooner rather than later. 'If you would like your friend to wake up earlier because they are taking a while to get ready, this can look like bringing it up when getting ready for bed rather than when out on an excursion,' she explained. 'This can sound like, 'I'm so excited for tomorrow. Would you be okay with getting up an hour earlier so we can get a head start?' People tend to be more receptive when you make a request rather than a demand, use clear rather than vague language (ie, saying one hour vs. earlier), and do not use accusatory or blaming language (It's your fault we didn't make our reservation yesterday).'
'Accommodation preference can function as an important predictor of how well you and your friend might align while traveling. In that regard, it is more than a matter of comfort and is in fact a reflection of budgetary mindset and social tolerance,' explained Singh. 'For instance, hostels tend to attract budget-conscious travelers who prioritize experiences over comfort. Their communal setup fosters interaction, which can be energizing or draining depending on one's personality.'
On the other hand, hotels and apartment-style accommodations suggest a desire for privacy, rest, and a slightly higher budget allocation. 'This decision reveals not only how much one is willing to spend, but also how much social engagement or downtime your friend might expect during the trip.' Talk as openly as possible about budget.
'Budget is one of the most important variables, but it often remains unspoken between travel partners until tensions arise,' explained Singh. 'Discussing it candidly helps avoid mismatched expectations—whether it's about daily meals, optional excursions, or accommodations.'
A friend focused on savings might feel overwhelmed if paired with someone planning a more indulgent experience, said Singh, and aligning financial comfort zones is key to reducing stress. Consider planning intentional time apart.
'Social energy levels and need for recharging is another crucial variable when traveling with a friend, and it's wise to have a good sense of this prior to deciding to travel together,' Singh added. 'Some travelers thrive in communal spaces and spontaneous conversation, while others need solitude to recharge. Being clear about how each of you refuels emotionally—whether through quiet reflection or group dinners—can help you plan more supportive days.'
According to Singh, a flexible compromise might involve selecting one shared activity per day, then allowing each person time to pursue their own interests. 'For example, one might explore early while the other sleeps in, meeting later for dinner to reconnect. This balance respects individual preferences while preserving the shared travel experience,' she added.
'The key to traveling well with a friend lies in alignment, communication, and adaptability. Not every moment needs to be shared, and sometimes, personal space is the ingredient that makes companionship sweeter,' said Singh. 'With mutual respect and clear expectations, shared travel can evolve from a logistical partnership into a treasured bond formed on the road.'
