Latest news with #JonDabach
Hindustan Times
4 days ago
- General
- Hindustan Times
Who is really the problem in your relationship? 8 signs it might be you
Everyone's always on the lookout for red flags in their dates or partners. But let's be real, if everyone's got an innate red flag radar, calling out the toxic behaviours, then who's actually the red flag? It might be a punch in the gut, but sometimes it may just be you. Whether you realise it or not, you may be unknowingly brushing them off. But self-awareness can help you overcome your blind spots. Jon Dabach, Relationship coach, who regularly shares tips on dating and relationships, took to Instagram on 30 May to drop 8 signs you are the problem in the relationship, and not the other way round. A post shared by Jon Dabach, PhD | Relationship Coach (@communicationjon) Here are the 8 signs from the relationship coach shared that may help you better introspect on your role and dynamics in the relationship: 1. You always need to win the argument. 2. You dismiss your partner's feelings as overreactions. 3. You rarely apologise, and if you do, it's usually followed by a 'but.' 4. You stonewall or give the silent treatment instead of addressing the conflict. 5. You constantly criticise instead of offering constructive feedback. 6. You expect your partner to read your mind. 7. You bring up the past to score points in the present. 8. You blame everything on your partner's faults without examining your own. It's normal to get defensive; we all have a habit of seeing ourselves in a positive light. But if, while cross-checking, you find yourself resembling a red flag or two, instead of losing your cool denying the uncomfortable truth, calm down and see it as an opportunity to grow. The relationship explained how the first step towards healing is self-awareness, and it's nothing to get embarrassed over. Jon said, 'Now, if you see yourself in any of these, take a breath. Self-awareness isn't shame, it's your first step towards real change. Relationships don't need perfect people, they need honest ones willing to grow.' ALSO READ: Always on the edge in relationships? Know the reasons and 3 ways to heal from anxious attachment style Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
Hindustan Times
19-05-2025
- General
- Hindustan Times
Not fighting or betrayal causes divorce: Relationship expert reveals the biggest reason why marriages fail
When a marriage is headed towards a point of no return, with divorce as the only way out, many people assume it's because of explosive fights or a lack of intimacy. While these are certainly relevant, they are just surface-level issues. The main root cause is subtler than you think. The crack in a relationship may not always come from an explosive reason, but from things shoved under the carpet. They keep taking up space until the marriage feels too claustrophobic. ALSO READ ON HEALTHSHOTS: Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: Is it good to exercise? Relationship coach Jon Dabach, who regularly shares tips on relationship and marriage-related issues on Instagram, revealed one issue that he believes is the biggest indicator of a marriage that may be heading for divorce. The relationship coach explained, 'After 13 years as a couples' counsellor, it's not constant fighting, it's not a lack of intimacy, and it's not even growing apart over time. Sure, all those things can hurt a marriage, but they are symptoms, not the root cause. It's uncommunicated expectations, the silent, unspoken needs that go unmet for just far too long. Marriages don't fall apart because of dramatic betrayals alone. They break because couples stop communicating what they expect from each other." Being on the same page is a non-negotiable in the relationship, and when couples ignore this rule, marriages suffer. Jon added, "One partner believes they should know what I need by now, and the other assumes everything is fine. Emotional distance keeps growing until two people start living parallel lives under the same roof. A major, major warning sign is when conversations become purely transactional and couples stop sharing their hopes, frustrations, and dreams.' If uncommunicated expectations are still at a nascent stage, the best step to save the marriage is through open conversations before the silence turns into distance. Jon Dabach discussed the solutions and added, 'You speak the hard truth out loud. I feel like we have stopped talking about what we really want from each other. You respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness and you ask your partner what do you need from me that I am not seeing. The solution to saving a marriage is not avoiding conflict. The real solution is staying committed to honest dialogue on purpose.' ALSO READ: Is bedtime cuddling the secret to happier relationships? Study reveals benefits that strengthen the bond Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
Hindustan Times
11-05-2025
- Health
- Hindustan Times
Just a rough patch or beginning of the end? Expert shares 7 signs when relationship is at the point of no return
A 'relation-ship' may seem all well and good, sailing smoothly on its course. But sometimes, the vision gets blinded by a mist of comfort and denial, leaving you short-sighted, until you finally see it's about to crash, too late to steer away, with sinking as the only option. In a relationship that's slowly losing its colours, there may be a growing sense of unease that something is off, and love is slipping through the cracks. Before it's too late, it's important to rein it in and recognise the signs that your relationship is going south. ALSO READ: Are you compatible with your partner? Relationship coach shares 4 ways you can know if they are the one for you Relationship coach Jon Dabach took to Instagram to share 7 subtle-but-serious signs that your relationship might be nearing the point of no return. He also shared one of his clients' experiences, where they didn't realise their relationship was nearing the end until it was too late. A post shared by Jon Dabach, PhD | Relationship Coach (@communicationjon) The relationship coach shared these 7 signs: He emphasised that the sooner one identifies these, the better the chances are of mending the relationship. Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
Hindustan Times
02-05-2025
- General
- Hindustan Times
Gaslighting to victim blaming: 5 signs your partner is emotionally manipulating you
Manipulation can come from someone you love, and the scariest part is that you may not even be aware of it. It may feel like sweet affection and won't blatantly appear as controlling. More than control, it sometimes comes across as concern, subtle and gentle. But that concern has the ominous power to control you and your thoughts, feelings and decisions. When you get emotionally manipulated, you start to second-guess your own feelings and prioritise your partner's thoughts, treating them as the last word in every situation to keep them comfortable while compromising yourself. If you have got your head in the sand like an ostrich as you endure the hot-and-cold emotional rollercoaster, it's time to figure out what's right and what's not. Relationship coach Jon Dabach took to Instagram on May 1 to share five signs of emotional manipulation. A post shared by Jon Dabach, PhD | Relationship Coach (@communicationjon) If they constantly rewrite events or twist your words, that's gaslighting, and it's designed to break your confidence. If saying 'no' makes you feel like the villain, they're not being vulnerable, they're weaponising your empathy. Something goes wrong? Somehow, it's always your fault, even when it clearly isn't. Instead of resolving conflict, they go cold. No affection. No words. Just silence is designed to make you chase them. You bring up an issue, suddenly you're the one apologising. They dodge accountability by turning the mirror on you. A partner who emotionally blackmails has the upper hand on your emotions. They make your self-confidence plummet and leave you deeply questioning yourself. Whether it's gaslighting or playing the classic victim card, you fall into a vicious cycle. Since they have drained you of your self-worth, you crave validation from them, looking for reassurance or guidance. With emotional manipulation, your partner traps you in a cycle of dependency. Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. ALSO READ: Do you frequently argue with your partner? Ask them these 4 questions that can change the way you approach conflicts
