Latest news with #JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology
New Straits Times
08-05-2025
- General
- New Straits Times
SPM opens doors but is not the only gateway to meaningful life
THE announcement of this year's Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) results brought a wave of excitement across the country. With 14,179 candidates achieving straight As — the highest in over a decade — there is much to be proud of. But as headlines rightfully celebrate these achievements, it's worth remembering this: SPM opens many doors but it is not the only road to a meaningful life. To those who didn't get as many As as they'd hoped, your journey is just getting started. According to the Education Ministry, 1,789 candidates — about 0.5 per cent of the students who sat for SPM 2024 — did not pass. But this is not the end of the road. An exam reflects a moment in time — not the totality of your potential and certainly not your worth. I say this from experience. Several decades ago, I enrolled in an engineering programme at a local university because everyone else seemed to be doing it. Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long before the cracks started to show. I struggled to connect with the study material and lectures began to feel more like background noise than inspiration. My grades slipped and my interest vanished. And eventually, so did I — officially dismissed from the programme. I felt like my life had derailed. But as life often proves, failure isn't always the end. Sometimes, it's the beginning of a better route. I decided to start over. My SPM results were modest — mostly credits, with two As — but they were enough to get me started. I enrolled in a diploma programme, the first step in a longer journey that eventually led to a degree, a Master's and, ultimately, a PhD. It wasn't a straight path. My peers were graduating, building careers and moving ahead while I was finding my footing and figuring out who I was meant to become. In hindsight, that was exactly what I needed. It gave me time to figure out what truly mattered. That winding path eventually led me to where I am today: an educator in Islamic economics and finance, a field I now consider a calling. It wasn't the most direct route but it taught me patience, resilience and the quiet determination to keep going. It's also why the concept of grit resonates so strongly. Professor Dr Angela Duckworth, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, defines grit as a combination of passion and perseverance in pursuit of long-term goals. In her landmark 2007 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, she found that grit — more than IQ, exam scores or raw talent — was the strongest predictor of success across diverse settings, from Ivy League undergraduates to West Point military cadets. The paper, which has since been cited over 11,000 times in academic literature, showed that those who kept going — especially when things got difficult — were the ones most likely to succeed. In today's world, where change is constant and challenges are many, that kind of perseverance matters more than ever. Yes, SPM is important. It opens doors. It signals discipline and potential. But it is not the only road to a fulfilling future. Nor is it the only way to define your worth. In Malaysia today, there are more routes to success than ever before. Vocational training, polytechnic programmes, digital skills development, entrepreneurship, creative fields — all of these are legitimate and valuable. Some students may thrive in conventional academic settings. Others may shine through hands-on work, innovation or business ventures. We need all of them. To students celebrating today: well done. Walk through the doors your hard work has opened. But stay hungry, be kind and never stop growing. To those who feel unsure or are left behind: keep walking. Keep building your own road. SPM is not the final word. Some of life's best lessons happen outside exam halls. They happen when you get up, dust yourself off and keep going anyway. That is grit. And in the long run, grit will carry you further than any exam ever could.
Los Angeles Times
06-05-2025
- Health
- Los Angeles Times
Opinion: Toxic positivity's hidden harm to mental health
Sometimes it seems like we are a culture addicted to happiness. Social media news feeds are filled with #GoodVibesOnly tweets, self-help books brainwash us to the power of limitless optimism, and good friends teach us to 'just think positive!' when life isn't going so well. What if, rather than keeping us happy, this cultural mandate of optimism is preventing us from being happy? I mean toxic positivity — the assumption we can only be positive in every situation and cut off all else. On paper it sounds wonderful, even therapeutic-sounding. However, the suppression of bad feelings can cause a rebound. It was discovered in a 2018 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study that individuals who embraced their negative emotions had lower depression and anxiety levels than individuals who suppressed or denied them. Suppression of negative emotions was associated with reduced long-term emotional resilience in a 2017 NIH study. The problem isn't that we're getting too scared—it's that other feelings are being de-legitimized. When you say to someone who's in pain or hurt, 'just be thankful for what you have!' you're hearing it as the message that your pain is not valid. Psychologist and author Susan David argues that emotional well-being is a side effect of accepting all of the feelings, not only the good ones. Social media sites such as Instagram and TikTok engage in toxic positivity by encouraging the airbrushed highlight reel of life. In a 2021 NIH study, researchers found that binge-watching 'positive' content leaves the viewer worse-off since they compare their very real issues to other individuals' seemingly perfect lives. I've seen it myself. A sophomore at Washington Connections Academy who requested to be anonymous once told me, 'I feel guilty feeling sad because everyone on the internet is so happy.' That guilt only set her further into isolation. Researcher Brené Brown states it more eloquently: 'We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.' Optimism is beautiful, of course — science attaches it to increased physical well-being and durability. But toxic positivity isn't. The first permit struggle; the second closes doors to struggle. As a teaching example, it can be over-loading when telling a patient with cancer 'be positive,' as it represses fear by suggesting restraint on something that should give way. In a 2022 International Journal of Behavioral Medicine article, researchers put cancer patients in a good mood and found they had higher levels of impairment and limited engagement in life after treatment. Sometimes the nicest thing we can tell someone is, 'This really sucks, and I'm here for you.' What do you do instead? Practice emotional validation – Instead of disqualifying someone else's pain, try: 'That sounds really tough. How can I help you?' In other situations, you can practice 'both-and' thinking – you can love your job and still be outraged about a horrible day. Emotions are not mutually exclusive. Forcing false happiness isn't liberating us — it's deteriorating us. By eschewing the #PositiveVibesOnly illusion, we're making it easier to live authentic connection and healing. And as psychologist Carl Rogers masterfully explained long ago, 'The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.' Let's not sweep aside pain in the guise of being optimistic. At times the most kind thing we can do is to say, 'Me too.' Related
The Star
05-05-2025
- Health
- The Star
'Terminal phase': Couples hit point of no return two years before actual breakup
The researchers say couples who eventually separated had a relationship satisfaction level that declined gradually over several years before a significant drop. — CHRISTIN KLOSE/dpa New research into relationships has shown that couples who break up reach a point of no return as much as two years before their relationship formally ends. In these couples, relationship satisfaction gradually declines, and then, about one to two years before the breakup, there is a sharp drop, after which there is no coming back for the relationship, explains Janina Buhler, one of two authors of the study. Couples are already well aware that relationship satisfaction typically decreases over the course of a romantic relationship, but the two researchers at Swiss and German universities were keen to understand why decline is particularly common in the early years of being together. For people seeking to stay in their relationships despite turbulence, the research underscores the importance of seeking couples therapy early, before reaching the so-called 'terminal phase' that leads to an ultimate breakup. The study – published in March in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology – found that many couples face a particular low point after 10 years. Buhler, together with Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern in Switzerland, examined partnerships and their dissolution from the perspective of the end of the relationship. The research duo analysed results from four earlier studies conducted in Germany, Australia, Britain and the Netherlands. During these long-term studies, participants were regularly asked about their relationships and their lives. 'This means the statements were not made retrospectively, but we can precisely track how the breakup occurred,' explains Buhler from the University of Mainz in Germany. The researchers found that couples who eventually separated had a relationship satisfaction level that declined gradually over several years before a significant drop. After this point, these couples separated within seven to 28 months – all of them, the study noted. 'Once this phase is reached, a breakup is inevitable,' Buhler says. However, couples often seek professional help only at the breaking point – when it is usually too late. 'If partners are in the pre-terminal phase, before the steep decline begins, efforts to improve the relationship can be more effective, and a breakup might be prevented,' the psychologist added. – dpa
Arab News
16-04-2025
- Politics
- Arab News
Loss of idealism is an inescapable truth of growing older
It is impossible not to wince while watching some clips now circulating on X, boosted personally by Elon Musk. There they are — prominent Democratic politicians, some still in office — speaking with sincerity against bureaucratic bloat, factory job losses, unfair trade deals, and influx of undocumented workers. They all did so with a zeal that is now prompting President Donald Trump's efficiency czar repost the clips with relish. The urge to wince is not because of what those politicians said back then, but because of how far they have strayed from their convictions since the 1990s and early 2000s. Two of the clips show Sen. Chuck Schumer, in 1996 and 2010, discussing topics such as government efficiency, trade policies, and the impact of globalization on American workers. His words highlight concerns about job losses due to unfair trade practices and the need for the government to protect domestic industries. A clip of Sen. Bernie Sanders from 2015 shows him dismissing open borders as a right-wing proposal and saying that immigration can make Americans poorer. To those who do not have a dog in the American political fight, these clips serve as a reminder of the quiet erosion of idealism that happens with age. Not just in well-known politicians and public personalities, but in ordinary people, too. We start out motivated by ideals — wanting to fight injustice, protect the planet, launch revolutions, change the world. Then the years roll on. Bills come due. Personal lives grow more complicated. The system proves impossible to change, and idealism begins to seem impractical. What begins as a necessity to survive slowly starts to control the way we think, speak, and act. We make moral concessions, telling ourselves they are temporary. We strike compromises to remain relevant, to preserve friendships, to protect our families and end-of-service benefits, to keep the peace. Until, almost imperceptibly, we are no longer the individuals we once imagined becoming. The old clips of Schumer, Sanders, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Barack Obama highlight changes in their rhetoric and priorities over time that they can now ignore, but not deny. Psychologists have studied this phenomenon. A 2009 paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that as people age, their goals shift from exploring possibilities to preserving what they have. This shifting of goal posts is not a sign of failure, but adaptation to new realities. As our responsibilities grow, so does our readiness to reset our moral compasses. Instead of continuing to dream of remaking the world, we settle for managing a small corner of it. Over time, we forget why we chose the paths we did Arnab Neil Sengupta Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize in economics in 2002, helped explain why with his concept of 'loss aversion.' We tend to fear losing what we already possess more than we desire what we might gain. Idealism, by nature, invites risk. But adulthood teaches us to minimize risk — to maintain stability, especially as we climb further into the middle class and beyond it. That is why those resurfaced political clips may have touched a chord even with people who do not care about headlines and partisan jabs. They show not hypocrisy so much as political malleability. Leaders who once sounded like champions of the working class today spout a curious mix of Wall Street caution, social-justice platitudes, and climate alarmism. They have not necessarily sold out. The values they started with collided with the institutions within which they had to work. The same happens in less visible ways to all of us. A young journalist may begin by wanting to speak truth to power — and end up rewriting press releases under deadline, or slanting reports against people or products or views they dislike. A doctor dreams of serving the poor, then builds a practice that caters for the rich. A college graduate takes up teaching intending to awaken minds, but settles for controlling a classroom and making it through the term. Over time, we forget why we chose the paths we did. This loss of idealism, however, should not be confused with the changes that in fact help adolescents gain knowledge, wisdom and prudence with the passage of years. Middle-aged and old people are an asset to society mainly because of their experience, insight and maturity that a younger generation may lack. Contrary to the famous observation, youth is not wasted on the young if they are guided by the wisdom and experience of the old. It is also true that idealism, even when buried under the hurly-burly of life, can persist and make a comeback. Many people, especially after retirement, rediscover their true calling — volunteering, teaching, mentoring, rediscovering childhood hobbies, penning opinion pieces and essays aimed at enlightening young minds. They find the freedom to act on beliefs and desires that career and family once kept in check. Many people rediscover their true calling after retirement Arnab Neil Sengupta Developmental psychologists say that older adults often possess greater emotional intelligence and deeper moral nuance. Sometimes their idealism is not lost, just less evident. Idealism does not always burn bright like a flame, but keeps going, as when a high-achieving engineer approaching retirement finds a new purpose in life by devoting his free time to teaching the neighborhood children football or basketball. Unfortunately, these are exceptions, not the rule. There is no shame in growing older. But there may be regret in growing older without remembering who we were before we started making compromises at every turn. Consider Obama's clarity of thought during a 2008 Democratic primary debate. 'The reason the American people are concerned is because they are seeing their own economic position slip away,' he said. 'And oftentimes employers are exploiting these undocumented workers … so, what we have to do is to create a comprehensive solution to the problem.' Or the remarks of Hillary Clinton from a 2003 interview on a radio show when she was a US senator from New York. Emphasizing the importance of securing the nation's borders and expressing concern about the economic impact of undocumented workers, she bluntly said: 'I think we got to have tough conditions. Tell people to come out of the shadows. If they committed a crime, deport them. No questions asked. They are gone.' Call them what you will — changing personal opinions or political expediency — these resurfaced clips are awkward for Clinton and Obama, sharply contrasting with their current criticisms of the Trump administration and underscoring an ideological drift that likely contributed to the Democrats' 2024 defeat. But, more importantly, they are useful for anyone who has watched them as a reminder, however uncomfortable, of the idealist each of us once was — and can still become again if we dare, provided it is for the better, not worse. — Arnab Neil Sengupta is a senior editor at Arab News.X: @arnabnsg
CNN
20-02-2025
- General
- CNN
Social rejection could be making narcissists' behavior worse, new study finds
If you don't personally know a narcissist, you can likely think of a few celebrities or politicians who display entitlement, lack empathy and crave constant admiration. Grandiose narcissists, also known as overt narcissists, are particularly notorious for their inflated sense of self-importance and relentless need for attention — traits that may match the description of someone you just thought of. Unlike covert narcissists, who mask their behavior with self-pity, grandiose narcissists rely on charm and manipulation to thrive. Now, a new study has found grandiose narcissists are not only more likely to feel ostracized but are also genuinely excluded more often than those with less egocentric personalities. The study, published Thursday in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, examined 77,000 participants across multiple studies, controlled experiments and real-world scenarios, to identify why narcissists experience higher levels of exclusion. How narcissism and exclusion fuel one another Narcissists often display disruptive behaviors in social settings, such as aggression or arrogance, that increase the likelihood of others distancing themselves over time. These self-absorbed individuals are also highly sensitive to social status and ambiguous cues, making them more likely to perceive exclusion even when it's not happening, according to the study. 'There's a very thin-skinned quality to narcissistic people, so if they even get a whiff that they are being left out, they're going to be acutely aware of that,' said Los Angeles-based licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, who treats people with narcissistic personality disorder and has written several books on the topic, including 'It's Not You: Identifying and Healing From Narcissistic People.' 'It's picking up a glance or not liking a social media post.' However, Durvasula, who was not involved in the research, noted these perceived slights are usually unintentional — someone may simply be too busy to engage with a post or look away without realizing it. But when narcissists overreact to perceived acts of ostracism, friends, family members or colleagues may start avoiding them out of concern for their behavior. To navigate relationships with narcissists, Durvasula recommends a strategy known as disengagement — intentionally withdrawing contact or interactions. Narcissists often interpret this behavior as exclusion, but it may be necessary for your mental health. Nevertheless, these actions create a destructive cycle identified in the study that explains how narcissism and ostracism fuel each other. Narcissists tend to view themselves as victims when they feel ostracized. This victim mentality intensifies their antagonistic behaviors, pushing people even further away, said Christiane Büttner, lead study author and social psychologist at Switzerland's University of Basel. 'This suggests that ostracism doesn't just affect narcissists in the moment — it might shape their personality development in ways that perpetuate future exclusion,' Büttner said. While the new study examined individuals who scored high on narcissism tests, it did not specifically focus on those with pathological narcissism, Durvasula noted. She said she believes the effects of narcissism and exclusion would be even more extreme in individuals with clinical narcissistic personality disorder. The study also found that individuals who exhibit narcissistic rivalry, viewing others as competition and acting more aggressively, are more likely to be ostracized than those with high levels of narcissistic admiration, who seek attention and status in socially engaging ways rather than isolating themselves, Büttner said. This pattern is particularly common in workplace dynamics. 'There's actually a natural social perceptiveness narcissistic people have, which is why they can be quite successful in leadership and business,' Durvasula said. However, narcissists typically only use this skill when it benefits them and blame others in most situations. Can narcissists change? Narcissistic behaviors need to be addressed early on. This proactive approach is challenging because schools can attempt to enforce anti-bullying policies to counteract such behavior, but outside of the classroom, social exclusion is harder to control, Durvasula said, pointing to the example of a child not being invited to a birthday party. 'I think that anti-bullying practices should be just as much about anti-ostracism behaviors to look out for the kid who may not be fitting in with peers as well and monitoring the situation,' Durvasula said. If children don't receive therapy for narcissistic traits, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to change as they enter adulthood, and narcissistic tendencies may intensify over time. To improve, narcissists need consistent intervention through therapy. Therapists must also be mindful of developmental traumas, childhood environment, attachment issues and any other psychological factors that may have shaped their narcissistic personality, according to Durvasula. 'Usually the (final straw) that gets a narcissistic person to therapy is either sadness or anxiety, but they will still often pin it to something happening outside of them,' Durvasula said. 'My boss is never fair to me, I can't get promoted, I don't have enough money, my spouse is mean to me.' Social skills training or cognitive behavioral therapy could help narcissists challenge assumptions that people are excluding them, while doing deep breathing exercises or mindfulness meditation and reframing negative thoughts could help them develop healthier coping mechanisms to prevent future ostracism, Büttner said. Handling a relationship with a narcissist The study primarily examined examples of narcissism in the workplace, but Durvasula said dealing with a narcissist in a family or friend circle is often more challenging due to the deeper emotional history involved. Whether you're navigating a work or personal relationship with a narcissist, Durvasula suggests empathic disengagement or yellow rocking, a strategy of remaining pleasant and polite in their presence without overperforming or sacrificing your mental well-being to satisfy them. Narcissists in work and personal relationships create challenges for others who have to manage their disruptive behaviors and pick up more responsibilities because they can't rely on them. In work settings, this might look like a narcissist colleague not pulling their weight in a team of five. Other team members may hesitate to confront this person for fear of the reaction, ultimately picking up their share of the work instead, Durvasula said. Family members face similar challenges, often creating backup plans to avoid last-minute chaos, as they can't rely on a narcissist to follow through on commitments, such as picking someone up from the airport. As for when to disengage fully, Durvasula said it's a personal decision. Some people may need to cut ties after just a few negative experiences, while family members might tolerate behavior for years or even decades from some narcissists.
