15 hours ago
What To Consider Before Traveling With A Romantic Partner For The First Time
Wide high angle shot of couple relaxing in lounge chairs by pool in courtyard of luxury hotel while on vacation getty
Traveling with a new romantic partner can be an exciting experience — but it's important to really think about what you're getting yourself into before settling into an airplane next to your budding romance. It's not so much a question of too soon, but rather a question of whether or not you're emotionally equipped to handle the level of intimacy and communication required to ensure the trip goes off without a hitch.
Katherine Rose Woller, relationship expert and bestselling author of Calling It Off: Memoir of an Almost Bride , is no stranger to traveling with romantic partners. These are the three things she urges new couples to think about before deciding to take a holiday together:
The number one conversation every couple should have before traveling? Money.
'It's not romantic, but it's essential. Because, regardless of how effortlessly you may divvy things up back home, travel amplifies financial expectations and tension,' explained Woller. 'So, you can elegantly have an upfront, respectful conversation about your trip budget and spending styles, or you will inelegantly experience mid-trip stress and misunderstandings. Trust me, a quick, no-nonsense money talk beforehand saves you from far more uncomfortable conversations later. Determine an actionable plan and stick to it.'
Before Woller and her now-husband left on their first trip together, the pair mapped out their expenses, created a rough budget, and even secured a joint credit card to simplify tracking purchases that benefited us both. Though some may say it was too early for a joint card, that simple solution gave us the freedom to relax and enjoy our adventure, rather than trying to figure out whose turn it was to pay for dinner,' she added. Do you feel emotionally and physically safe with your partner?
Before you worry about planning of any sort, the first question you need to ask yourself is, 'Do I feel safe with my partner, both emotionally and physically?' If the answer is not an immediate yes, then, according to Woller, you need to rethink more than just your upcoming trip.
After that, it's time to talk logistics. 'Do you know each other's need-to-know emergency contacts? Do you have a plan of action in place for dealing with illness, a stolen purse, or a lost passport? Do you believe in your capacity to face emergencies together?' she pointed out.
'Early on in our London days, I was mugged on the streets of Marylebone. One night, a man on a bike unexpectedly pushed me over, snatched my phone, and rode furiously away. I chased him for several blocks, in high-heeled booties no less, but alas, he escaped with my phone in hand,' shared Woller. 'Yet, despite the chaos, my partner's calm and confident demeanor is what I remember most. He handled the police, the tech, and the lingering fear that stayed with me for weeks.'
Ultimately, travel reveals who your partner is when things go sideways, and at the end of the day, that's the safety issue that genuinely matters, she added. Keep in mind that travel forces intimacy.
You don't need to be 'ready' to travel together; you need to be prepared for and open to what travel will reveal.
'I've traveled with partners both early on and deep into the relationship, and regardless of our longevity, it has always been enlightening,' said Woller. 'Some trips crashed and burned, while others polished my relationship to perfection. But every time, I learned something far more meaningful than just how my partner traveled. I learned their values, their curiosity, and their approach to life.'
According to Woller, travel forces intimacy and fast-tracks time in a way that months of coffee dates and delicious dinners just can't. 'It exposes you, your alignment, and the truth of your connection, or lack thereof,' she added. 'So, if you can honestly say that you're ready to take a deeper look at your dynamic, for better or worse, then you're ready to travel together.'
