Latest news with #Kattari
Yahoo
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
12 advanced tips for going down on a V from sex experts
From strap ons to scissoring, lesbian sex comes in a rainbow of flavors, so even if you think you've got game in the bedroom, there is probably stuff you don't know and it couldn't hurt to brush up on your skills. Oral sex is a staple, and if you're routine is the same every time, it may be time to try some new things so you can become a certified oral sex god. Ok, so our experts taught you tips and tricks to take you from an inexperienced newbie to a seasoned giver. Now, you're ready to level up so that when your partner reaches the big O, your neighbors think you're killing them. Once you've mastered the basics, it's time to take things to the next level, so we've talked to LGBTQ+ sex experts to find out what you can do to take your partner from 'That was great' to 'I think I might have blacked out there for a minute!' Whether you're a former oral sex newbie looking for new techniques to try or you have years of worshipping the vulva under your belt, these experts will have make you look like you have an award-winning tongue to any queer woman or trans and nonbinary folks you want to get biblical with. vittoria_vittoria/Shutterstock Since not everyone naturally lubricates, and certain medications like SSRIs and antihistamines can make you dry as a bone, lube can make the experience so much better. 'Keeping things slippery is key, so adding in a vagina safe lube, like the tasty flavored line from Sliquid, helps keep things wet and wild,' queer and nonbinary certified sex educator Dr. Shanna K. Kattari tells PRIDE. So you already know your way around a vulva and are ready to level up your game, then it's time to add toys into your rotation. According to Kattari, who wrote Oral Sex That'll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms, you should try out things like nipple clamps, blindfolds, and vibrators. 'Consider having your partner wear a butt plug while you're eating out on the town (or wear one yourself!),' she says. Beds are great for newbies to cunnilingus, but Kattari recommends trying out some new spots now that you have the basics down. 'People assume cunnilingus has to happen in bed, but you can also do it on the edge of (or even in!) a pool or hot tub if you have access, on your knees while your partner sits on the couch, while sitting in a chair while your partner spreads they legs on the kitchen counter, or in the back of an SUV while camping,' she says. Open communication should be a cornerstone of your sex life, but during the act, it can also be a fun way to learn what makes your sexual partner tick. You can try different things and ask, 'Which feels better, number one or number two?' Tell them to grab your hair and guide you where they want your mouth, or even hand them a riding crop and tell them to swat you when they're enjoying themselves. 'There is a myth that we are all just naturally supposed to be in tune with our lovers and know exactly what pleases them, but let's be real; communication is key, and the more you know about what works for them, the better a time you both will have,' Kattari explains. Lightfield Studios/Shutterstock Since every vulva is different, Kattari suggests spending some time trying to figure out what areas are the most sensitive on a new partner. 'If you consider the top of the clit to be 12 on a clock, take some time (pun intended) to lick and suck all the way around, and figure out what numbers on the clock seem to get the best responses from your partner,' she says. Bisexual licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos recommends changing up your rhythm and pressure to find out what gets your lover closer to the finish line, and try using your tongue to make figure 8 patterns, circles, as well as up and down, and side to side motions on their clit. 'This makes the oral sex more dynamic and interesting for your partner, and while you shouldn't overdo this since most people with vaginas like some consistency during sex to be able to build up the orgasm, you can play around with it with some style,' she says. Learning how to turn the dial up and back down on your partner's arousal can make the experience last longer and end with an earth-shattering orgasm. Roos says you should use your tongue on their clit to slowly build them toward an orgasm and then stop whenever you feel them teetering on the edge or they tell you they are getting close. Once you've waited for your partner to calm down, repeat the whole process four or five times until they're begging you to let them climax. Roos warns that this may be too intense for some people, but that 'most will think you're a pussy eating god' if you master how to edge the clit with your tongue. Once you've mastered oral, level up by adding in anal play, Roos suggests. The anus is super sensitive too, so try alternating between rimming and licking their clit, or keep your tongue busy eating your partner out while you insert your finger into their ass. Again, lube is key here, too. Roos says this can be a game changer because the anus has 'sensitive nerves that makes the brain light up of pleasure if they are being stimulated, and in combination with oral sex, this will give a sexual experience that's unforgettable!' Roos says you'll be able to send 'your partner to another galaxy' once you've mastered giving oral and fingering at the same time — there is a reason The Rabbit reaches both places. Try placing a pillow under your partner's lower back to get the best angle and then go to town using your tongue on their clit while stimulating their G-spot with your fingers. 'When finding a way that you can finger and perform oral in a pleasurable way — at the same time — you'll be unstoppable,' she says. While stopping and starting is great for edging, once your partner is getting close to climaxing and you're ready to send them over the edge, Don't. Change. Anything. Especially the tempo. According to Roos, when you're ready to 'leave the beginners phase of eating puss,' the next step is mastering tempo, which can be tricky for eager newbies. When you feel you're partner's pleasure ramping up, keep the tempo the same, but add more pressure and then stay the course until they cum. 'Don't give up,' she says, 'even if you feel like you've been going on forever — to build up a nice orgasm takes time!' Santypan/Shutterstock Once you've got the basics down, it's time to start experimenting with new positions. Having your partner lying on their back while you're between their legs is a great place to start, but now that you're turning into a pussy licking god, you can do better. 'Try new angles or positions to reach different nerve endings and keep things exciting,' recommends Queer adult performer Gia Green. Have your partner sit on your face and tell them to ride you while you devour them or bend them over any surface in your house and eat them out from behind — the possibilities are endless! Whether your partner is a cis lesbian, trans masc, or has a vulva but doesn't identify as a woman, you'll make the experience amazing for them if you honor their identity and how they like their body touched and talked about. 'We need to queer up the conversation around oral sex,' Green says. 'When it comes to oral sex, it's essential to approach the experience as a celebration of the unique individual in front of you, honoring their identity and preferences.' So take the time to ask your partner how they relate to their body, how they want it touched (Green says that some trans masc folks may want to be sucked off more), and what language they prefer you use when talking about their body. Ok, so you've mastered the art of cunnilingus, but what do you do when their orgasm is over? Now it's time for aftercare, so snuggle, talk about the experience, and make sure they know you had an amazing time. 'The scene doesn't end after the climax,' Green explains. 'Cuddle and share what you both enjoyed, ask what felt best or if there's anything they'd like to try next time, and express gratitude for the experience.'
Yahoo
7 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
11 beginner tips for going down on a V from sex experts
Blow jobs get endless attention in pop culture, but what about oral sex for lesbians that involves a vulva? Sure, it's easy to find 'lesbians' going down on each other in porn, but let's be honest, if it's frequently not made by and for queer people, it's not a realistic representation of queer women and folks with vulvas having sex. Which means it's a terrible place to get tips and tricks for lesbian sex — especially for newbies. We talked to LGBTQ+ sex experts to bring you the best moves and techniques for how to look like a master at oral sex even if your experience is extremely limited, or nonexistent. By the time your done reading you'll be ready to show off your new skills to any queer woman or trans and nonbinary folks who are into getting biblical in a sapphic way! So whether you just came out and have never traveled below the equator on someone with a vulva or just need to improve your muff diving skills, these experts have you covered. audiznam260921/Shutterstock We usually think about working out our biceps and abs, but according to queer and nonbinary certified sex educator Dr. Shanna K. Kattari, who also wrote Oral Sex That'll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms, you should be focused on strengthening your tongue if you want to have the stamina to eat someone out long enough to give them at least one O, if not more. 'This is great to do while your camera is off during a zoom meeting, or at the traffic light — move your tongue around, up and down, make it pointy to soft,' she tells PRIDE. "The more you build strength in it, the better tool it will be to pleasure your partner.' Everyone's body is different, so make sure you're focused on how to bring your particular partner pleasure. 'Everyone's body is different, and so what worked on your last lover may not work as well on your new lady friend,' Kattari explains. 'Take some time to look at it, smell it, stroke it, and try out different things to see what works for this particular person, and then use those data points.' You don't get extra points for only using your mouth and tongue, so don't be afraid to use your hands too. 'Use your fingers to stroke the inner and outer labia, grab tightly to inner thighs, slowly slide one into the vagina or even just tantalizingly tease to the opening,' Kattari suggests. Before you put your mouth to work, open it and talk to your sex partner. Queer adult performer Gia Green says this is just as important before filming a scene as it is in the bedroom. 'Ask what turns them on, what makes them melt, or what they'd love you to try. And once you're in the game, simple questions like, 'Does this pressure feel good?' or 'Do you want more of this?' are hot and can keep you on track while showing that you care.' Green also says this is a great time to honor and celebrate the identity of trans and nonbinary partners, since all vulvas are different and not all people with vulvas identify as women. 'For transmasc folks, you might want to indulge further in sucking them up! Consider taking the time to ask your partner how they relate to their body and what language they prefer for different parts and activities,' she says. You may be nervous and want to dive right in, but foreplay and building anticipation are important if you want to ramp up your partner. Green suggests you "spend time teasing and exploring other erogenous areas like over-the-clothes teasing, nipple and breasts, inner thighs' before your mouth anywhere near their vulva. KOTO Images/Shutterstock According to pop culture, the most common position is one partner on their back, with the 'giver' between their legs, but Kattari advises trying other positions to find what's comfortable for you both. You don't want to have to stop before they cum because you got a neck cramp, right? 'Try pillows to elevate the receiver's hips, or flip them on their side, or have her ride your face,' she says. 'Figure out what feels more comfortable and then settle in.' Despite what the media tries to tell you, vulvas shouldn't smell like roses and taste like pineapple, but if your about to go down on someone who is nervous about how they smells or taste, suggest taking a shower first. You can even take a shower together and turn it into foreplay! 'Hop in the shower first and get all soaped up and rubbed down. That takes a lot of sensory anxiety people have off the table, and allows for some hot and heavy foreplay before you dive in,' she says. If you're nervous about your first time, or still feel like a novice, Green says to think about different techniques you can use when your down there, and then try them out in real life. You might want to try 'slow, steady licks, gentle circles, humming and sucking, the finger combo... experiment with your partner and learn together what turns them on,' she says. Shurking_son/Shutterstock This one is pretty straight forward, but try to relax and don't hold your breath. 'It's crucial to create a comfortable, pressure-free environment and enjoy the moment without rushing,' Green reminds us. Licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos, who is bisexual herself and lives with a woman, says her best piece of advice is to 'eat the vagina with passion.' According to Roos, holding back is a common mistake newbies make. 'If you are enthusiastic and show that you like it, it'll not only make your partner able to relax more, but you will also give better oral sex,' she explains. Once you have some experience under your belt you'll be able to better read your partner's body language and cues so you'll know when you're doing something they like, but when you're still new to the muff diving game, you should take it slow. 'When going slow, it's also easier to pick up on your partner's signals, you get yourself time to explore parts of the vagina with different techniques, and you build it up in a very hot way — so make soft movements and don't be afraid of letting it take some time,' Green says. You may be a beginner now but practice makes perfect!
