Latest news with #KristenArnett
Buzz Feed
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
Funny And Relatable Tweets About Airport Security
Airport security is no doubt a very serious matter. TSA checkpoints and guidelines are in place to keep us all safe as we fly. But as the rules and technology have evolved, the passenger experience going through security has inevitably led to some hilarious moments. The funny folks of Twitter think so, anyway. We've rounded up 31 funny and relatable tweets about the airport security process, from strange searches to bizarre passenger behavior and more. to the woman who took a bite out of her chapstick in the airport security line: why you did that — Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) November 21, 2018 i dont simply go through airport security. i have a goal. i want everyone in line to be blown away by my efficiency. i want to be celebrated as i push my belongings across the table. i want TSA to offer me a job (i'll decline). i want people talking about me at their gate. glory. — shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) April 26, 2022 I think when I finally die and go to hell its just going to be a constant loop of waiting in the airport security line hungover — Jamie Fline (@allidois_flynn) September 2, 2019 I hope the TSA agent who made me open my sandwich and 'move the pickles around' feels super stupid. In the end it was a sandwich. — Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) September 19, 2022 TSA agent: do you have anything in your back pockets? me: nah girl that's all me — tracy clayton jr the 3rd (@brokeymcpoverty) November 9, 2017 The most zen place in the airport is the 'get your shit together' bench after going through security — Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) January 13, 2019 TSA Agent: Anything sharp or dangerous in here? Me: Only if you fear the written word 😏 😏 *finger guns* TSA: 😐 Me: 😬 TSA: 🤨 Me: No, ma'am, nothing sharp or dangerous. — Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) March 29, 2018 Since they're scanning me anyway, sometimes I wish airport security would just tell me how my bone density is doing — Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) March 29, 2018 I can help you get through airport security 30% faster - just get in any line other than the one I am in. — 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) December 7, 2017 can't stop thinking about the time I watched a woman try to put her dog through the airport security scanner and the tsa agent picked it up and was like 'ma'am no' — sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) (@cottoncandaddy) July 1, 2019 TSA checking baggages the day before Valentine's: — ✨️💫🖤Beloved🖤💫✨️ (@MoonGoddess_86) February 7, 2022 TSA: Girl [with pierced nipples]: sorry I have my nipples pierced TSA: the metal detector didn't even go off- Girl: it didn't even hurt as much as you'd think — 1984's George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) April 4, 2019 TSA just unpacked a man's bag and revealed it was 50% potatoes, is there no privacy in this world — worms cited (@christapeterso) May 23, 2021 Avoided saying 'You too' after the TSA guy told me to have a nice flight — Elspeth Eastman (@ElspethEastman) December 7, 2017 Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:... — Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) August 11, 2014 just used TSA PreCheck for the first time & now this is a pic of me — Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 24, 2017 ppl who go through airport security w naked, unsocked feet: HOW??!!! y'all just put your feet on the lil yellow things and soak up the foot juices of THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE??? — tracy clayton jr the 3rd (@brokeymcpoverty) September 9, 2019 tsa agent: sorry you can only board with 3.4 oz of liquid or less me: ok just toss it out then Kool Aid Man: *dressed in tommy bahama* babe what — jo (@whatsJo) November 27, 2021 me before going through security at airport: what if i accidentally have a gun — Natalie (@jbfan911) June 21, 2019 Probably the hottest thing a person can do is move efficiently through the TSA security line. — Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 28, 2015 Apparently when TSA asks if you have any fluids, "In my bladder" is not an appropriate response. — Fishy Snowboarder (@FishySnowborder) April 6, 2014
Washington Post
10-03-2025
- Entertainment
- Washington Post
This novel about a cowboy clown is wild, luxurious and absurd
There's funny haha, there's funny weird, and, it turns out, there's also 'funny yikes,' as 29-year-old clown Cherry Hendricks tells us in Kristen Arnett's latest novel, 'Stop Me If You've Heard This One.' Cherry describes her estranged relationship with her mother as follows: 'Sometimes it's funny to consider the fact that if I were a mother, I'd probably be just like her. Not funny haha, though; more like funny yikes.'
