13 hours ago
Best flavored whiskeys for Father's Day, including ... salty watermelon
Best flavored whiskeys for Father's Day, including ... salty watermelon
Don't overthink it. Flavored whiskeys are totally fine.
Sometimes you need a break from big, barrel-influenced flavors. One of the truest pleasures in life is an occasional coffee mug filled with ice and Fireball. And though Fireball remains the oft-criticized king when it comes to mashed-up whiskey, there are several contenders for its throne.
Thus, I'm kicking off our Father's Day week-long whiskey extravaganza with these gateway spirits to the harsher (but rewarding) world of bourbons, ryes and Scotches. Let's give some pre-mixed cocktails and various infused whiskeys a test drive and see what's worthy of drinking (or gifting). These are the flavored whiskeys I drank this year, ranging from forgettable to "not bad."
Jack Daniel's & Coca-Cola ready-to-drink cocktails
I was concerned about the carbonation in a pre-mixed cocktail. Fortunately, this can roars open with the familiar crack of a typical Coke and pours with the big, quickly dissipating head you'd expect from the unadulterated thing. I'm opting for the vanilla here, because that's always been my personal favorite.
The smell off the top is more vanilla extract than vanilla syrup, owing to the seven percent alcohol by volume within. It's still appealing, but you know right away this isn't your typical midday caffeine boost. In fact, there's no caffeine at all -- reasonable, given the Kyle-shaped crater Four Loko left outside frat houses across the nation. (Which Kyle? Judging by the puka shell fragments around the rim, it was Kyle S. Services were held at the Quiksilver in the mall. Not the good one.)
The first sip is boozy, but never burns. The whiskey works naturally with the vanilla, heightening the minor flavor you'd get from Jack Daniel's barrel aging. It works in sequences, going Coke-Jack-Coke, leaving you with sugary sweetness and carbonation to finish each sip. That's a bit rich, but it's also possible I'm not used to full-bodied Coca-Cola after spending the last two decades drinking whatever sugar-free version they had (I write about booze for a living, I need to conserve calories where I can).
The downside is the lack of flexibility. This is a little too strong to taste primarily like Coke. It's a little too weak to taste like the cola and bourbons I'd make for myself at home. Jack Daniel's is going for a sweet spot with the greatest possible appeal and probably hit it. But there's a benefit to being able to mix your drink your way -- especially with a two-step cocktail like this.
Even so, it's better than expected. The soda is full-bodied, the carbonation is crisp and the whiskey is apparent but not overpowering. Ol' Jacky D could have half-assed this one. He didn't.
Five Springs Vanilla Maple Infused Bourbon
The bottle is mysterious. We don't know what the ingredients are, what the origin of the infused flavors are, if there's been any color added or much else. We do get that it's 70 proof and from Bardstown, Kentucky, which is a nice start (there is a QR code on the neck. I am a lazy man, so I'm just gonna jump in instead).
It smells like a fancy, boozy waffle. It tastes... like a boozy waffle. I have no idea what the aging on this is, but it's tremendously smooth and zero burn to speak of. That also means it's not especially complex. It's a scoop of ice cream on top of a warm stack of pancakes, not quite decadent but still very much leaning into its dessert roots.
That sweetness is the headliner, but you get some roasted malt and a little oak later in the sip. That reminds you you're dealing with a little booze, though it doesn't feel like it clocks in at 70 proof. There's a little cinnamon lingering underneath but, yeah, the bottle promises vanilla and maple. The spirit delivers vanilla and maple. Heaps and heaps of it.
It's lovely to sip over ice. It lacks the spice and snappy finish of a Fireball, but it's still an easy win.
Duke & Dame Salted Caramel Whiskey
I like a little salt in my whiskey. Granted, that's normally from a bit of sea spray in a coastal Scotch, but hey, I'm open minded. Same with the caramel; it's not too much of a stretch to bring these two whiskey-related flavors to the forefront. But it might be a stretch to lean heavily on them, because a little dab will do when it comes to either.
The smell from the top of the pour (over ice) is like a Werther's Original hard candy. It's familiar in a 99 cent mini bottle sort of way. That's not necessarily a bad thing -- some of those cheap lil weirdos are awesome -- but that's where your mind goes.
OK, so it smells... artificial. It tastes sweet up front, but the salt clocks in toward the end to help the finish clock in at not quite dry, but not as sloppy as you'd expect. There's a little warmth befitting a 70 proof spirit -- Duke & Dame doesn't hide its booze as well as some of the others on this list -- but there's nothing you'd consider a burn.
That gives it utility as a change-of-pace sipper or a chilled shot. There isn't much do it besides caramel up front and a little salt in the back. But that's fine; you're not drinking it for depth and complexity. You're drinking it because it's easy and fun. That's probably not gonna impress your boss or rich friends, but it's still nice.
Mash & Mallow S'mores Whiskey
Well, we did it. We finally made the South Park Civil War reenactment liquor a reality. Granted, Mash & Mallow *isn't* S'mores Schnapps or 151 proof, but what possibly could be?
Regardless, there's potential here -- the oaky, warm base of a bourbon could bring a little snap and balance to the sweet-on-sweet of a s'more. The smell off the top leans into this -- there's a little smoke, a little marshmallow and some graham cracker elements that... sorta come across as stale.
I'm sipping this one over ice, which helps space out the big flavors within and thin out a denser spirit. And with some ice, this is actually pretty decent. There's a sweetness that lingers long after it leaves your lips, but you do get a little charred marshmallow and cracker before getting there. Despite what's effectively a blank check to dial up the boozy burn at the end in a flavored whiskey, Mash & Mallow never tastes like a 70 proof spirit. In terms of sting, it's closer to a 30 proof Rumchata than, say, a pull off a cheap Fireball knockoff.
Your tolerance will come down to how much sweet you can handle -- and how much hangover you're willing to risk the next day, since I have to think this will take a ghastly toll. Mash & Mallow is a dumb idea executed smartly. It's nice to sit and sip with. It's a remarkably easy shooter. It's an easy win to bring to a tailgate. Despite all the ways this could have gone wrong, Mash & Mallow found a way to do it right.
Old Smoky Whiskeys
Old Smoky is best known for its moonshine, but the Tennessee-based distiller is honing in on that Fireball market for chilled shots that don't really taste like whiskey. I gave three of their new-ish offshoots a try, to varying effect.
Salty Watermelon:
The mint chocolate chip cream was the first Ole Smoky I drank -- passed around as a chilled shot during March Madness. But salty watermelon got the call to be the first one I reviewed because, well, salty watermelon. That's a hook right there. A whiskey that tastes like a summer cookout? Alright, I'm in.
I'm drinking this (and all of these) over ice. With all respect to Ole Smoky, I feel like this lovely bottle does not clamor for the strict adherence of drinking it neat. Even with the ice, it smells absolutely potent with watermelon candy odors and a nice little ring of brine. It's incredibly appealing.
And, yep, this is like drinking candy. The watermelon washes out any of the oak or mash. Which is fine, because the label assures me the lovely mahogany of the bottle is the result of caramel coloring. So that artificial flavor is doing a lot of work, but it's not like you didn't know what you were getting into. You're drinking salted watermelon whiskey from a moonshine company.
There's a little harshness underneath, but that slips away under the distinct impression you're drinking a thin, boozy Jolly Rancher. That is a compliment. It is not good, but it is great.
Salty Caramel
Well, this one smells half like melted Snickers and half like... well, some off-brand flavored booze mini bottle I crushed in college or far too long after college to proudly admit. It's aggressively chemical and sweet. There's a bit of a maple syrup/antifreeze vibe that wafts through the room. It's a lot.
Even with ice, it's a bit syrupy. With the caramel in tow there's a certain melted ice cream vibe in play. Which would probably go great in a big, boozy shake. On the rocks, it's overpowered and much less enjoyable than the salty watermelon.
You start off with some low key sugar (substitute). Then, wham, that's a lot of caramel flavoring all at once. It's like pouring the crumbs from a box of Fiddle Faddle into your mouth, except with a little boozy aftertaste. It's probably fine as a shot, but might be a tough mixer in anything but a dessert drink.
Mint Chocolate Chip Cream
I love a good, dumb dessert shot. Living in Wisconsin has led me to Travis Hasse's pie liquors (which originated at the Missouri Tavern, one of the best bars in the state). This one, pouring thick out of the freezer and in need of refrigeration after opening, lends all the promise of melted ice cream.
It smells like a two scoop cone dropped on the sidewalk on a hot summer day. Before the ants arrive, naturally. The first sip is, yep, melted ice cream. There's a little bit of spice toward the end, but nothing that would really tip you off to the booze inside until you get to a slightly warm aftertaste. It's minimal -- this is a 35 proof spirit, after all -- but it's there.
The drink is dense and sweet and, honestly, a lot. That's a plus if you're looking for a quick dessert shot or adding it to a shake. In a cocktail it's a tougher sell. That aftertaste coats your tongue with sugary sweetness and artificial flavor, weighing you down afterward.
If you've got a sweet tooth? It's probably not a problem. But it's a lot to handle as a sipper.
