4 days ago
When is it acceptable to address a stranger as 'uncle' or 'aunty'?
Twenty-one-year-old Lin Thant was recently left reeling after a café waitress - probably not much younger than him - handed him a drink and chirped, "Here you go, uncle."
He clutched his heart as he relayed the incident to The New Paper. "Single most heart pain day of my life," he said.
Welcome to the great Singaporean identity crisis: the moment someone calls you "uncle" or "aunty" - and you realise you've crossed an invisible age line that no one told you about.
We spoke to Singaporeans across generations to find out roughly when it's acceptable to use these titles. The answer? It depends.
Madam Tan, 59, said she doesn't take offence when people call her aunty - but it still stings a little.
"Am I really that old?" she asked. "I thought maybe I look around 40-plus. But I won't correct them. I just smile and move on."
She laughed and added: "I call other people aunty, too! I guess I've lived long enough to earn the title myself."
Among younger Singaporeans, most steer clear of the labels unless it's clearly someone older - or someone's parent.
"I just go straight into it. Like, 'Hi, may I have this?' No need to label anyone," said Ms Genevieve, 21.
Online forums like Reddit and Singapore Expats Forum are filled with similar debates.
One foreigner living here shared that he found it odd, even after years of hearing his Singaporean wife use the terms. But when his neighbour's kid called him "uncle" for the first time?
"It made me feel old, though," he admitted.
Others pointed out that in Asia, using terms like "uncle" or "aunty" isn't just about age - it's cultural.
"It's common in Asia to address people with a title instead of their name as a token of respect," one user wrote.
"It's not your absolute age that matters - it's the age difference. To a kid, even a 20-year-old is an uncle. But to a 20-year-old, you need to be like 40-plus to be considered an uncle."
This habit is especially pronounced in Singapore, where titles are used liberally - whether you're buying kopi from a hawker or chatting with a neighbour.
One commenter recalled being told as a child to address every stall owner as aunty or uncle.
But now that she's creeping into that age range herself? "I call them 'boss' instead. Just to be safe."
That might be the safest route.
"When in doubt, just say 'boss'. Or 'hello'. Or nothing," said Ms Teo, 21. "Better than accidentally giving someone an existential crisis."
Call it a uniquely Singaporean quirk - or a mild social landmine - but the auntie-uncle debate isn't going away any time soon.
At least not until someone invents a foolproof age radar.
Until then? Smile, be polite… and maybe skip the labels.
