Latest news with #MICHAELKOSTA
New York Times
07-03-2025
- Business
- New York Times
Late Night Tackles Trump's Tariff Tug-of-War
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. Tariff Trouble On Thursday, President Trump announced the suspension of tariffs he'd just imposed on imports from Canada and Mexico. On 'The Daily Show,' Michael Kosta said Trump had 'backed away from those tariffs like it was a longtime friendship with Jeffrey Epstein.' 'Look, I'm not a big business guy, but quick question: Does anyone know if businesses need to make decisions more than four hours in advance?' — MICHAEL KOSTA 'This guy's so horny for tariffs, isn't he? [imitating Trump] 'I love any word with big natural double Fs.' — MICHAEL KOSTA '[imitating Trump] Tariff, it's a beautiful word. It's why I named my daughter Tariff-any.' — MICHAEL KOSTA 'Already? I can't believe this, but your tariff went bad faster than my avocados.' — SETH MEYERS 'So tariffs may raise prices and hurt American consumers, but we must have them, for they protect the soul of our country — until today, when Trump paused all tariffs for Mexican goods and services and also paused them for Canada. [imitating Trump] 'Frankly, folks. Frankly, folks, souls are overrated. I sold mine. I sold mine years ago in exchange for the ability to do anything I want with zero repercussions.'' — STEPHEN COLBERT 'Did you learn how to govern from the Hokey Pokey song? 'You put the tariff on, you take the tariff off, you put the tariff on, and you play a round of golf.'' — SETH MEYERS 'When asked how he describes his economic policy, Trump said, 'Basically, I just keep hitting snooze.'' — JIMMY FALLON The Punchiest Punchlines (Sobering Effects Edition) 'Well, guys, in response to President Trump's tariffs, Canada is now removing American alcohol from their shelves. It is tough news for all the spring breakers who booked a trip to Nova Scotia.' — JIMMY FALLON 'Yeah, Canada is no longer selling bottles of Jack Daniel's, Fireball and Tito's Vodka, or, as Democrats are currently calling it, breakfast.' — JIMMY FALLON 'And this is a painstaking process for Canadians, because they apologize to each bottle as they remove it from the shelf.' — JIMMY KIMMEL 'Can you believe we're shaking down Canada? They must be so confused. We had such a good relationship. It's like, you know what, it's like we suddenly got hooked on meth, and we went to the apartment upstairs: 'Do you got any money?'' — JIMMY KIMMEL The Bits Worth Watching The St. John's University basketball team performed a Red Storm sea shanty with Jimmy Fallon on Thursday's 'Tonight Show.' Also, Check This Out Errol Morris's new Netflix documentary 'Chaos: The Manson Murders' explores why Charles Manson and his 'family' have remained a source of fascination for decades.
New York Times
06-03-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
All Signs Point to Democrats Being Hopeless, Michael Kosta Says
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. Audience Participation President Trump's 99-minute address to Congress was still providing fodder for late-night hosts on Wednesday. Michael Kosta was unimpressed with how Democratic lawmakers chose to express their opposition. On 'The Daily Show,' Kosta said the speech was 'a theatrical production where everybody has a role, and they slip right into it.' 'Democrats showed up in full wardrobe, dressed in pink as a symbolic protest against people who wanted them to do something meaningful.' — MICHAEL KOSTA 'They came with props, too, holding up little paddles like they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking, huh? Either that or a pickleball match.' — MICHAEL KOSTA 'Trump was confused by the paddles. He was, like, 'We're not auctioning off Greenland until later.' — JIMMY FALLON 'What turned out to be an amazing night for America coincided with the worst night for Democrats since Republicans canceled slavery.' — GREG GUTFELD 'Luckily, Democrats stood up to him the only way they know how: by writing about it later in their diaries.' — TAYLOR TOMLINSON 'I really love that while Trump was saying the wildest [expletive] on earth, Democrats just sat there with their little paddles. Like, you really shouldn't stand up to fascism the same way that we play 'Is It Cake?'' — TAYLOR TOMLINSON 'It was the longest presidential address in more than 60 years. Why is it that the orchestra can play off an Oscar winner but not the president?' — JIMMY KIMMEL 'Trump's speech went on so long — his speech was 10 minutes longer than 'The Lion King.'' And had twice as much lyin' in it. — JIMMY KIMMEL 'Stayed up late last night for a live show following Donald Trump's address to Congress, which set the record for the longest address to a joint session of Congress ever. Felt longer.' — STEPHEN COLBERT 'I mean, so long you couldn't bring in DOGE to make any cuts?' — SETH MEYERS 'His speech was so long, Adrien Brody played him off.' — SETH MEYERS Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
New York Times
29-01-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
Michael Kosta Is More Than Happy to Be Protected by Trans Soldiers
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. Military Time President Trump signed an executive order that essentially bars transgender people from the military. One reason given for it was the recovery period that follows gender-affirming surgery. 'I don't see why a transition surgery should affect readiness more than any other surgery,' Michael Kosta said on Tuesday. 'Trump is acting like they're doing transition surgeries on the front lines.' 'Do you know how long our wars last? I think they'll have you back in the game in no time. Vietnam War, 11 years. Afghanistan war, 20 years. Even our 'Storage Wars' last 15 seasons.' — MICHAEL KOSTA 'Look, I don't have a problem with transgender soldiers. As someone who pees himself anytime he hears a loud noise, I think we should be grateful to anyone who's willing to put their life on the line so I don't have to.' — MICHAEL KOSTA The Punchiest Punchlines (Super Bowl Edition) 'I read today it was just announced that Sunday's AFC championship between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills was one of the most watched N.F.L. games of all time. Yeah, almost 60 million people tuned in for the game on CBS, plus one guy who accidentally watched it on Paramount+.' — JIMMY FALLON 'That's right, 60 million people watched the game, and they all had the same thought: 'How many Matthew McConaughey commercials can there be?'' — JIMMY FALLON 'A Philadelphia man over the weekend climbed to the top of a traffic light pole to celebrate the Eagles advancing to the Super Bowl, despite city officials greasing poles to deter climbing. They didn't take into account that Philly residents have spent years building up an immunity to grease.' — SETH MEYERS The Bits Worth Watching Ringo Starr cleared up a few persistent rumors on Tuesday's 'Jimmy Kimmel Live.' What We're Excited About on Wednesday Night The British R&B girl group Flo will perform on 'The Late Show.' Also, Check This Out The Mona Lisa will be moved to a new exhibition space as part of the Louvre's upcoming renovation.
