05-03-2025
People Are Sharing What Concerns Them The Most About Gen Z's Dating Habits, And It's A Little Bleak
I recently shared my thoughts on Gen Z's (different) dating habits and wanted to find out if I was alone in my thinking. They're a free-spirited, inclusive, take-no-sh*t generation, but IMO, they lack the will to commit when it comes to relationships because it's all about hookup culture these days. I'm the traditional romantic who lives for the fairytale, but I'm old school. So I turned to the Buzzfeed Community and asked their opinion on Gen Z dating because maybe I'm just outdated. But based on these responses, rest assured, I'm not. Here's what they had to say:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and clarity, and not all responses are from the Buzzfeed Community. Some have been pulled from this Reddit thread, this Reddit thread, and this Reddit thread.
1. 'I'm part of Gen Z myself, but I also question the dating habits of people my age. There's too much ambiguity with the 'talking stage,' and nobody is romantic anymore.'
2. 'I honestly can't believe how healthy the dating practices are amongst the Gen Z teens I know. They have clear boundaries, open discussions, and a much better feel for their own mental health within the relationship than I did as a teen.'
'They also do a better job of staying friends and not taking sides after a breakup. This is obviously not true of every individual or every relationship, but it is the overall trend I have observed.'
— miniscissors49
3. 'There's no intimacy. Everything is online and everything is done for a post.'
4. 'I have two Gen Z kids at home, and I feel their thoughts on dating are very healthy. Maybe it's due to me not dating anyone while raising them both, but they aren't rushing to get into relationships because they want to concentrate on school and friends.'
— ssstege11573
5. 'Society has changed so that even millennials often don't have stable relationships. It seems that people nowadays are more into friends with benefits, having as many partners as possible, and sexual freedom. They are not interested in long-term relationships anymore.'
— MagiciansRabbitTarot
6. 'Honestly, coming from a high school sophomore, Gen Z isn't better or worse than any other generation when it comes to dating. We're just growing up in a changing world and figuring it out as we go, like you all did, too.'
7. 'I don't have a judgement because I'm not a Gen Z kid or a parent of one, but I do wonder how they do with the aftermath of a relationship and social media. We had Myspace and Facebook, but that was not a central part of our social life/relationships, so after a breakup, there wasn't a constant, ubiquitous presence.'
8. 'For me, it's the amount of open relationships. There's a lack of monogamy, and open relationships seem to be the increasing norm.'
Stuart Freedman / Corbis via Getty Images
'I understand everyone has different preferences, but not being able to commit to one person scares me. I've even seen some claim that committing to one person or wanting to commit to one person indicates attachment issues.'
—Anonymous
10. 'My Gen Z boys know how to court a woman properly. The dates, the planning. The poetic speech. It does seem it's a rare thing these days. Such a shame.'
11. 'This idea that there is this significant generational gap between Millennials and Gen Z when it comes to dating (and a host of other issues), is overblown.'
12. 'I agree that they never experienced writing notes, or being on phone calls late at night with the fear of a sibling listening in on the landline.'
'They've never had to hide who they're dating or talking to because they've always had the privacy of their own devices. And frankly, I'd say they find dating apps cringy because millennials use them.'
—Anonymous
13. 'On one hand, I'm proud of them, but at the same time, confused by them. They have or are working towards undoing mistakes made by previous generations that will make things way better for themselves (marrying older, traveling and living life before settling down). But at the same time they totally lack basic social skills needed for a relationship.'
Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
'How is someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you only ever text them? Why are you spending hours on FaceTime instead of physically being together? They don't like dating apps, but don't like going out or talking to people in and contradictory. Hoping the social awkwardness fades away by the time my Gen Alpha kid is old enough to date.'
—Brandy
14. 'I think things like social media really sort of play with our mindsets because we see endless options out there, and with so many different people 'available,' nobody wants to settle. And so, you know, hookup culture sets in.'
Alina Rudya / Getty Images
'It honestly makes me a bit sad to see, and I wish kids now knew how to plan and ask someone on a real, proper date. I don't want to be treated like one of someone's many side pieces. I want to really get to know someone and find a real connection, not a casual hookup type thing or 'friends with benefits' nonsense.'
—Hallie
15. 'From what I understand looking in, Gen Z have really strange and rigid ideas about socializing.'
'I've seen more than once online, on multiple social media sites, Gen Z saying that approaching a stranger you don't know to ask them out on a date is weird and creepy, which is really silly."
— Aggressive-Ad-8907
16. 'I'm an elder Gen Z, and I'm not doing these dating rituals (or lack thereof) prescribed to Gen Z. I don't go on dating apps, and I met my partner through a common interest. We texted some, but really got to know each other as friends in person.'
Playb / Getty Images
'We now sometimes pass each other handwritten notes, just to be cute. We go out on dates, and he made his feelings and intentions very clear with me, and vice versa.
I will say, this is the first serious relationship I've had where I felt like the effort and intention was at a high level. I've dated a couple of guys before where the planning of dates and clear communication wasn't there, but, I don't know if I would contribute that to being a generational trait.'
—Kate
17. 'I mean, the options us older generations left them are terrible — online dating, hookup culture, toxic social media.'
— nah1111rex
18. 'A friend of mine has a Gen Z daughter who just turned 18 a few months ago. I happened to overhear a discussion they had because my friend — who's her father — doesn't like her new boyfriend, who is a lot older than her.'
Stock-eye / Getty Images
'She replied that she has difficulty finding the right kind of guy in Gen Z because all the Gen Z guys she looks at don't care about their future and are nihilists. She says that you can tell they're not putting any effort into their lives, so logically, that means they won't put any effort into a life with her. It scares her away and makes her feel unsafe. And that's why she likes to date older guys. It's pretty clear to me that the nihilism I'm hearing from a lot of Gen Z is just sabotaging their ability to date.'
— honestduane
19. 'Gen Z dating culture is heavily influenced by dating apps and social media, which has created a very low-commitment, low-communication default ,and a lot of toxic dynamics, including resentment between genders, unrealistic/transactional standards, and a drive to profit off of loneliness (IMO a big contributor to the rise of incel culture).'
Pekic / Getty Images
'Not saying any of this is brand new, but it has taken on a new, quite extreme form in this generation. Understandably it's burned a lot of people out, and caused a lot of cynicism among young people on the topic of love/dating. But even though the overall state of things is not okay, people still find ways to connect.'
— YuNg-BrAtZ
20. 'I'm on the older side of Gen Z. The majority of our generation has a give-up mentality. No one works through issues. It's just label everything you don't like as a red flag and leave.'
— jayi05
21. 'It's not a Gen Z thing. I'm a millennial and the dating scene is absolutely abysmal. I'd love to date, but I physically cannot deal with scrolling through 1,000 identical profiles daily of men 'who aren't looking for anything serious.''
Mengwen Cao / Getty Images
'So I just work, hang out with my friends, and engage in hobbies instead. I'm kind of sad because I don't like to be lonely and would love to get married someday, but it's just not realistic.'
— LauraHDay
What are your thoughts on Gen Z dating culture? Share them in the comments?
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