a day ago
A father and son reunited, forever.
The harbor islands were Sebastian's refuge, a place to unwind away from his demanding work.
One day, brimming with excitement, he called his parents in Germany, and Karl had to tell him to slow down so he could understand what he was saying.
Sebastian had caught a bluefish near Long Island. For all his scientific and medical accomplishments, Sebastian was especially proud of reeling in that bluefish, with the late afternoon sun shimmering off the Boston skyline in the distance. He never felt more alive, he told his parents.
The day after that phone call, on Sept. 19, 2008, Sebastian collapsed from a cardiac event while working out on a treadmill at Mass General and died. He was 32.
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Karl and Man-Hee were devastated. Sebastian was their only child. He worked to save lives, to ease suffering, to help others, and the thought of him dying so young, with so much more to give, left them bereft.
Karl and Man-Hee flew to Boston and took a boat into the harbor, to spread Sebastian's ashes in the place he loved so well, the place that brought him peace, the place where he caught that bluefish. They dutifully recorded the latitude and longitude where Sebastian's ashes hit the water.
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And every year since, Karl and Man-Hee returned to Boston to mark the anniversary of Sebastian's passing. They boarded the Hingham ferry at Long Wharf and when it passed the spot where Sebastian's ashes were spread, they dropped flowers into the water. The ferry crew, who became friendly with them over the years, made sure to ring a slow, mournful bell as Karl and Man-Hee dropped the flowers. It was a ritual both bitter and sweet — flowers for an only son.
Karl and Man-Hee made a pact, that when they died, they would join Sebastian in the waters of Boston Harbor.
Three months ago, Karl, 79, and Man-Hee, 73, went for their regular morning swim near their home in Germany. Everything seemed fine, Man-Hee recalled. That afternoon, without warning, Karl collapsed. It was his heart.
'He didn't suffer,' Man-Hee told me.
After Karl died, Man-Hee began planning the trip back to Boston, to reunite Karl and Sebastian in the waters of Boston Harbor. June 15 was the day she chose. Not only was it Father's Day, it was Karl's and Man-Hee's 52nd wedding anniversary.
But she had to settle for Friday, the 13th, as that was the only day she could charter a boat. That boat, Timeless, sailed out of Constitution Marina in Charlestown on that afternoon.
According to Lynn Shah, Karl's and Man-Hee's niece, who on the boat, a dozen family members accompanied Man-Hee during the voyage. Man-Hee carried Karl's ashes in a black urn. 'America, The Beautiful' played over the boat's sound system.
Shah said the boat's captain, Brad White, welcomed the family onboard, noting something that John F. Kennedy said about why so many feel connected to the ocean.
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'We are tied to the ocean,' he told the group, 'and when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch it, we are going back from whence we came.'
There was music, lots of music. Man-Hee had compiled a playlist of one hour and 43 minutes of Karl's and Sebastian's favorite songs with great care. They played 'The Last Waltz,' by Engelbert Humperdinck, because that was the song Karl and Man-Hee loved to dance to with each other. They played 'Massachusetts' by the Bee Gees, and 'Golden Heart' by Mark Knopfler, because Sebastian loved that song.
As they floated by one of the harbor islands that the family calls Sebastian's Island, Shah said, the entire family sang 'Sweet Caroline,' changing the chorus to 'Sweet Sebastian.'
When they got to the spot, the place where Sebastian's ashes were spread 17 years ago, Man-Hee spread Karl's ashes to the strains of Andrea Bocelli's 'Time to Say Goodbye.'
The black tie that Karl wore to his son's memorial service was wrapped around a bouquet of roses and messages of affection from his family that followed his ashes into the water.
'Oh Lord,' the captain said, according to his prepared remarks, 'we commend the soul of Karl as we commit his remains to the deep while giving him over to your continuing care for his resurrection to true eternal life, please provide a peaceful place for his eternal rest.'
Man-Hee's sister-in-law, Hana Kim St. Pierre, is a pastor, and she offered prayers and Bible verses in their native Korean.
Lynn Shah was there with her husband and their children, Maren and Khelan. Four-year-old Khelan's middle name is Sebastian.
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She found it all incredibly moving, with competing emotions.
'There was such a mixture of tears and laughter,' she said.
That mixture of joy and sadness felt familiar, 'much like life itself,' she said.
After returning to port, the family retired to The Helmand, the Afghani restaurant in Cambridge, raising glasses, laughing, crying, and taking great comfort knowing that a father and son, men they loved, were finally reunited.
Man-Hee plans to return to Boston in June and September every year, to take the Hingham ferry out into the harbor and drop flowers at the spot where her husband's and son's souls rest, waiting for her.
'It is the reunification of a father and a son,' she said. 'It makes me feel at peace. And I think about joining them some day. That brings me peace, too. On that day, we will be back together, a family, forever.'
Kevin Cullen is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at
