06-03-2025
Kansas lawmakers are killing gay kids. And they expect us to be polite about it.
A participant in the March 31, 2023, March for Queer and Trans Youth Autonomy at the Kansas Statehouse holds a sign that reads: "Make no mistake, they are killing us." The demonstration was a response to legislative attacks on the LGBTQ community, including the ban on transgender athletes. (Sherman Smith/Kansas Reflector)
When the Trevor Project — the national suicide prevention organization for queer youths — reached out offering an advance look at their state-by-state survey of LGBTQ+ kids' mental health, I thought I knew what to expect.
The Kansas results were so much more alarming than I expected:
39% 'seriously considered suicide in the past year, including 40% of transgender and nonbinary young people.' 15% actually attempted it.
65% 'reported experiencing symptoms of anxiety, including 68% of transgender and nonbinary young people.' 49% had symptoms of depression.
46% said they wanted to access mental health care but didn't receive it.
28% 'were physically threatened or harmed based on their sexual orientation or gender identity in the past year.' 63% faced discrimination.
Most importantly for this column, 53% said 'recent politics negatively impacted their well-being' by a significant amount, with 47% considering leaving the state.
LGBTQ+ kids don't face these challenges because they're gay. They're the same as anyone else. They face these challenges because of discrimination and stigma. This basic fact has been accepted since 1973, when the American Psychiatric Association took homosexuality off its list of mental disorders. The Trevor Project's report shows over and over, in state after state, that lawmakers advocating discrimination have a direct, negative effect on children's mental health.
I've written about the subject an awful lot over the past 3½ years. It's time to drop any flowery language and state the truth: Lawmakers are killing gay kids.
That's my take. Ronita Nath, vice president of research at the Trevor Project, had a more restrained but forceful perspective when we spoke Wednesday.
'Policy environment matters,' she told me. 'So broadly speaking, LGBTQ+ youth living in states with more protective and inclusive policies reported lower rates of suicidal thoughts, attempts and barriers to care than those living in states with more restrictive or hostile policies.'
Who would have thought?
Kansans need to understand this. While we should remain committed to having robust public debates about important issues, no one should defend arguments over the basic humanity of our children. You need only listen to the more than 18,000 young people ages 13-24 surveyed, of whom 192 were from Kansas.
The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is a hotline for individuals in crisis or for those looking to help someone else. To speak with a certified listener, call or text 988 or visit
Crisis Text Line is a texting service for emotional crisis support. To speak with a trained listener, text HOME to 741741. It is free, available 24/7 and confidential.
In the aftermath of the 2024 election, those from the center and left have debated whether Kamala Harris paid a price for going too far left on social issues. Most often, that's shorthand for saying that Democrats should have thrown LGBTQ+ people and their rights under the bus. I'm sorry, but any sort of political movement that treats children as dispensable needs to rethink its priorities. Emphasize or minimize whatever you want. But don't make common cause with those who harm our children.
The epitome of this candy-coated, scorched-earth approach could be seen in Rep. Susan Estes, R-Wichita, chairwoman of the House Education Committee.
On Tuesday, she repeatedly admonished those testifying about a bill restricting use of students' preferred pronouns. In her committee, she said, people 'maintain a good tone,' smile, and 'never make anything personal.' The crowd needed to refrain from showing any emotion.
In the Kansas Statehouse, you see, the gay people need to worry about hurting straight people's feelings. Not the other way round.
Meanwhile, LGBTQ+ youths face barriers that lawmakers could lower, if they cared. That's right: Kansas politicians could actually improve the lives of young people and strengthen the state they claim to care about.
In Kansas, 'close to 50% of young people are not able to get the mental health care they wanted,' Nath said. 'And then when young people list the top barriers to getting that care, you'll see it's a combination of both tangible and intangible barriers. So for Kansas, the No. 1 barrier is they couldn't afford it, which is a very tangible barrier. But then the rest is their intangible barriers, right? They're afraid to talk about their mental health care concerns with someone else. They were afraid they wouldn't be taken seriously. They did not want to have to get their parent or caregiver permission. They didn't want to look weak.'
Politicians could make mental health care more accessible and available through expanding Medicaid or funding extra counseling services for schools. They could add funding to community mental health centers. These problems could be solved.
Instead, legislators have banned gender-affirming care and plan to police pronoun use.
The report does offer glimmers of hope. Looking through the findings for Kansas, I noticed an opportunity that many of us could and should take. Only 44% of queer youths said that their homes were affirming spaces where they could be themselves. That still comes in ahead of school. And 65% identified their communities as accepting of LGBTQ+ people. The best way to do that? More than 90% said it would be 'trusting that I know who I am.'
So that's your job, Kansans. Make sure you trust the gay kids in your life. Make sure your homes and communities accept those kids, whether they're in your family or not. Show that love that Kansas legislators can't bring themselves to express.
Save the precious lives that they refuse to.
Clay Wirestone is Kansas Reflector opinion editor. Through its opinion section, Kansas Reflector works to amplify the voices of people who are affected by public policies or excluded from public debate. Find information, including how to submit your own commentary, here.
