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Yahoo
11-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
120 Mom Jokes That Are Sure to Make Your Mama Smile
Knock, knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore you, Mommy! Motherhood is hard. Sure, it is one of the most rewarding positions we moms will ever have, but sometimes we just have to laugh so that we don't cry. And as it just so happens, there are plenty of jokes and puns that are sure to make any mom smile! In honor of moms everywhere, we have rounded up a collection of 120 mom jokes that are sure to put a smile on your mother's face. This list has you covered with kid-friendly knock, knock jokes, clever one-liners, tongue-in-cheek mom puns, and silly Q&A jokes that any mom will love. Take a gander at our list of 120 jokes about Mom and pick out your favorite wisecracks to share with Mom over brunch. There are plenty of jokes that the kids will be able to include in a hand-made Mother's Day card and even some hilarious quips that would be perfect to use as a Mother's Day Instagram caption for a family photo in honor of Mom on her special 1. "It's spicy' is a universal mom code for 'I don't want to share.' 2. Son: 'Mom, can I have $20?'Mom: 'Does it look like I am made of money?'Son: 'Well, isn't that what M-O-M stands for?' 3. What kind of flowers are best for Mother's Day? Mums. 4. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's Pop-corn? 5. What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug. 6. Don't wake up Mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them. 7. Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard. 8. Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor? She bit her tongue! 9. Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat. 10. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! 11. Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook. 12. What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom. 13. Why is Mother's Day before Father's Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on Mom. 14. What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy's bed? Two children jumping on mommy's bed! 15. I asked a police recruit during an exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'He said, 'Call for backup.' 16. What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers. 17. Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. 18. What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum. 19. I bought my mom a mug that says, 'Happy Mother's Day from the World's Worst Son'.I forgot to mail it but I think she knows. 20. What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother's Day when she was about to do the dishes? 'Relax Mom… you can just do them in the morning.' 21. What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars. 22. I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband. 23. How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button. 24. There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking:Not enough and enough for 3,000 people. Related: 25. Mom: 'Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving.'Son: 'Maybe he has good parents then!' 26. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up! 27. Mommy: 'Mommy will think about it!'Narrator: 'Mommy never thought about it. She knew it was 'no' all along and just wanted everyone to STFU.' 28. Knock, there? who?Howard you like breakfast in bed, Mommy? 29. What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year? Mummy's Day. 30. Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious. 31. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam! 32. Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, 'Phew it's chocolate.' 33. What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web. 34. I hate when I'm waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner. 35. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It's time to go to sweep! 36. Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… While daddy snores next to you. 37. Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy. 38. Boy: 'My mom is having a new baby.'Girl: 'What's wrong with the old one?' 39. Nothing is really lost… until mom can't find it. 40. Whoever wrote the song 'Easy Like Sunday Morning' did not have kids. 41. There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream 'Mom' three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot. 42. Knock, there?OmeletOmelet who?Omelet Mommy sleep in today. 43. Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday? 44. Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess. 45. At my age I'm no longer a snack; I'm a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids. Related: 46. My Mom told me I'd never amount to anything because I procrastinate too much.I said, 'Oh, yeah? Just you wait.' 47. A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day. 48. Knock, there? who?Llama Llama, I love my mama! 49. When your mom's voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed. 50. Son: 'Mom, what's a weekend?'Mom: 'I don't know, sweetheart, I haven't had one since you were born.' 51. Baby snake: 'Mommy, are we poisonous?'Mommy snake: 'Yes, son. Why?'Baby snake: 'I just bit my tongue!' 52. Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever. 53. You know you're a mom when you understand why Mama Bear's porridge was too cold. 54. Knock, there?Yo mama who?Yo mama who knows you didn't throw out the garbage like I asked you to. 55. They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast. 56. Knock, there?Justin!Justin who?Justin time to say Happy Mother's Day! 57. You know you're a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn't only normal, but necessary. 58. Mom's recipe for iced coffee:Have you made it in the you put it in the it cold. 59. Mother to son: 'I'm warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to me!' 60. My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as 'there appears to have been a struggle.' 61. Why was the house so neat on Mother's Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it. 62. Knock, there? who?Ivana give you a kiss for Mother's Day! 63. Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili. 64. My nickname is Mom. But my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' 65. Roses are red,Violets are mom's jokes,Are funnier than you. 66. How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won't get done. 67. What kind of boat is barely staying afloat, yet somehow manages to function? The mother ship. 68. Kid: 'What's a man?'Dad: 'A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.'Kid: 'I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!' 69. Before having kids, every mom thinks she'll be a super-chill because, at that point, we had no idea they'd break all our stuff, make ridiculous demands, and take roughly 10 years to get out of the car. 70. Knock, there? who?Gladys Mother's Day! Related: 71. My kids asked me what it was like to be a I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was. 72. She believed she could, and she almost did…But then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she totally lost track of what she was doing. 73. What's the fastest land mammal? A toddler who's been asked what's in their mouth. 74. Night Mom: 'Tomorrow, I'm going to get up early before all of the kids, pack their lunches, go for a run, cook a healthy breakfast, and enjoy 20 minutes of silent 'me time.''Morning Mom: 'Hahahahahaha. Nice try.' 75. Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as 'getting dressed.' 76. I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them. 77. Son: 'Mom, stop making jokes. You're not funny.'Mom: 'I made you, didn't I?' 78. Knock, there? who?Bacon brownies for Mother's Day. 79. Why don't they have Mother's Day sales? Because mothers are priceless. 80. What's the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman's just a superhero now and then. Moms are superheroes all the time. 81. Everything you do is so mom point. 82. What three words solve Dad's every problem? Ask your mother. 83. Mom, thanks for providing me with womb and board for all of these years! 84. Yoda best mom. Love you, I do. 85. I whale always love you, Mom. 86. Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist? Because they also have eyes in the back of their head. 87. A mother's sacrifice isn't giving birth. It's nine months without wine. 88. Why did Mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother's Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen! Related: 89. Knock, there? who?Alec to give mommy Mother's Day kisses 90. Parenting is buying a bounce house and swing set just so you can sit on the patio and drink wine in peace. 91. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up. 92. 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. 93. What did the digital clock say to its mother? Look, Ma! No hands! 94. I'm going to donate these bags of clothes to Goodwill. But first, I'm going to drive around with them in my trunk for four months. 95. What do you call a mom who can't draw? Tracy. 96. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for puddin' up with me. 97. I would write a book about parenting, but it would just be filled with rants about doing everything myself. And cocktail recipes. 98. Knock, there? who?Al give you a hug for Mother's Day! 99. You're a souper mom. 100. What kind of candy do moms love for Mother's Day? Her-she's Kisses. 101. Not to be cheesy, but you're a grate mom. 102. Motherhood is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time. 103. Why did the boy put the Mother's Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them. 104. Son: "Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?"Dad: "No."Son: "Then it's a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!" 105. There is no butter mom than you! 106. Why did the Mother's Day gift arrive the day after Mother's Day? It was chocoLATE. 107. Mom, I donut know what I'd do without you. 108. What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day? They shellabrated their mommy. 109. Knock, there? who?Abby Mother's Day! 110. Olive you, mom. 111. Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-mom Prime. 112. What did the banana's mommy get on Mother's Day? 113. You mean a waffle lot to me, Mom. 114. What was the mommy cat wearing to breakfast on Mother's Day? She was still in her paw-jamas. 115. Sunday School Teacher: 'Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?'Student: 'No, ma'am. I don't have to. My mom's a good cook.' 116. What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother's Day? Starbucks. 117. What kind of flowers do yellow jacket mothers like for Mother's Day? Bee-gonias. 118. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Their kids have to play inside! 119. To the woman who rosé me right. 120. Why did the mother cross the road? To get some peace and quiet! Up Next- -
Yahoo
11-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
25 Printable Mother's Day Cards To Gift the Mom in Your Life
Moms are the closest thing we have to magic. And that's exactly why, as all children know, it's important to celebrate our mothers and maternal figures every day of the year—not solely on Mother's Day. But as any mom will tell you, there is no Mother's Day gift or grandma gift more special or meaningful than a heartfelt Mother's Day want to spend a ton on a card this year? No worries! These 25 printable Mother's Day cards and printouts are downloadable—for free! Make your own out of our printouts, fill out the inside with Mother's Day wishes and messages, or include a sweet Mother's Day quote. The best part is all of these free Mother's Day cards are totally customizable, so it's what you make it. Related: Note: Some of these cards can be printed in a way where you fold it in half and write on the inside (non-printed part). Others are just the front of a card, so you can print it on half of a piece of paper and then fold. Related: Mother's Day Quotes Related: Related: Up Next:
Yahoo
09-05-2025
- Yahoo
Rochester man arrested in Binghamton on felony drug charges
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. (WIVT/WBGH) – A Rochester man is facing several felony drug charges following a traffic stop in the City of Binghamton. On May 3, shortly after midnight, members of the Broome County Sheriff's Strategic Response Group (SRG) performed a routine traffic stop near the intersection of Clinton Street and Holland Street in Binghamton. During the traffic stop, the SRG deputy reported seeing a large plastic bag containing a whitesubstance hanging from the pocket of the driver, 58-year-old Dana Baker. As the investigation continued, Baker allegedly became non-compliant and ignored verbal commands from deputies before becoming physically resistive and attempting to flee. After a brief struggle, Baker was successfully taken into custody. As a result of the investigation, deputies recovered multiple plastic bags on Baker's person which contained a total of over 23 grams of white substances. The substance later tested positive for cocaine. The drugs have an estimated street value of over $1,000. Deputies also recovered $366. Baker was charged with the following: Two Counts of Criminal Possession of Narcotics with Intent to Sell in the Third Degree, Class B Felonies Two Counts of Criminal Possession of Narcotics in the Fourth Degree, Class C Felonies Criminal Possession of a Controlled Substance in the Seventh Degree, a Class A Misdemeanor Criminal Use of Drug Paraphernalia in the Second Degree, a Class A Misdemeanor Obstruction of Governmental Administration in the Second Degree, a Class A Misdemeanor Resisting Arrest, a Class A Misdemeanor Baker was arraigned and remanded to the Broome County Jail where he remains in custody. Free admission for Moms at Animal Adventure this weekend Rochester man arrested in Binghamton on felony drug charges Pope Leo XIV celebrates first Mass, calls his election both a cross and a blessing Local pastor's reaction to the new pope Local mosaic artist presents at Binghamton Rotary Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Yahoo
09-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
30+ Funny Mother's Day Jokes That Give the Gift of Laughter
While everyone loves a dad joke, you have to give mom her due. Mom jokes can be just as funny, and what better time to engage in funny jokes and puns than Mother's Day? Whether you write one in a card or just share a few to make mom laugh on her special day, these are the jokes you need to share on Mother's Day. You can fill Mother's Day with quotes, poems, and cards, but don't forget to fill it with laughter. Give her a giggle with these funny Mother's Day jokes, and maybe personalize it more with one of your favorite nicknames for mom. From a chuckle to outright LOLing, your mom will appreciate these unique mom jokes she can relate to. What's the difference between a new mom and an experienced mom? Sleep. Why do kids always ask mom for money rather than dad? Because her name is MOM = Made of Money. Why does every mom want to be an Emperor penguin on Mother's Day? Because Emperor penguin dads raise their young. Why do moms always feel your forehead when you're feverish? Because they are ther-MOM-eters. What's the perfect gift for a mom on Mother's Day? A sweater, because she's always too cool. What kind of candy do moms want most on Mother's Day? A Kit-Kat, so you can give her a break. Moms like to laugh and crack jokes just as much as dads. Impress your mom with these fun and kid-friendly mom jokes. They will bring happiness to her big day. Rather than just saying them to her at a Mother's Day party, you can try them out at dinner or during fun games. What do moms and martians have in common? They're both out of this world. Why did the dog mom put the puppies in their room? They wouldn't quit yapping. Where do you take a zombie mom for Mother's Day? The Dead Sea. What's the difference between a child and a computer? Computers listen to their motherboard. Why did the mummy need help around the house? She was all wrapped up. What does a kidney bean give his mom for Mother's Day? A coat, because she was chili. What did the puppies get their mom for Mother's Day? Paw-jamas. Why do moms tell jokes? Because dads can't have all the fun. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It's time to go to sweep. Some of the best mom jokes are based on real life. Mom-life is downright funny. Maybe not when you're taking your toddler to the bathroom for the 15th time during the movie, but when you think about it, the antics of kids are hilarious. Try these fun one-liner jokes on your mom. Moms are fueled by hugs and coffee… lots and lots of coffee. To a mom, the word "late" has turned to "latte." If she's not on time, it's because she needed one. When kids become teenagers, moms get dogs. At least the dogs are always happy to see them when they come home. When you need to understand why some mothers eat their young, ask a teenager's mom. In a house full of kids, silence is mom code for "Oh no." Welcome to motherhood; you'll never pee alone again! Why is the word "mom" in "moment" when she never gets one to herself? Mom jokes are like dad jokes, only punnier. It's important to keep the gift of laughter going on Mother's Day. When you've used up all the jokes and one-liners, it's time to pull out the puns. What did the jelly mom say to her kids? Spread out. Why did the tree mom put the sticks in time out? They were being knotty. Why do moms want you to eat your vegetables? Because it makes them hap-pea. What does a mom love more than getting flowers on Mother's Day? Getting to hang out with her little buds. What did the Italian mom say to her family? Why does everyone always want a "pizza" me? What's something a daughter always borrows from her mom? Mom genes Why did the mom yell at her little noodle? It was a little saucy. What does a witch do for their mother on Mother's Day? They have a spell-i-bration. Related: Between the Mother's Day photoshoot and fun activities, keep your mom entertained with a few good jokes. These jokes are all about mom, and they're guaranteed to make her laugh. You might even try a few of these out on a Mother's Day invitation!
Yahoo
09-05-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
2 charges dismissed in voter fraud case against ex-president of Fairfax School District Board of Trustees
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (KGET) — A Superior Court judge on Thursday dismissed felony embezzlement and conflict of interest charges against Palmer Moland, former president of the Fairfax School District Board of Trustees. Deputy Public Defender Ajaib Gill,, Moland's attorney, said in a news release those charges were based on complaints made by politically motivated parties. The court granted Gill's motion seeking the dismissal. 'Mr. Moland is happy to be vindicated as to the most serious charges in this case,' he said. 'We look forward to further clearing his name at jury trial.' Moland still faces felony charges related to voter fraud and perjury. His trial is scheduled to begin next week. BPD awards 'Moms Against Drunk Driving' $2,500 When charging Moland in 2022, prosecutors said he ignored bylaws that restrict using public funds when hiring a law firm that was set to investigate him. Prosecutors said he should have abstained from voting to hire the firm because it posed a conflict of interest. In the release, Gill said Moland helped unseat the previous school board president — becoming the first Black president of the board. A majority of trustees then voted to retain the private firm, Gill said, to help 'move on from all of the well-documented drama and turmoil surrounding the school district.' 'The court correctly found there was no personal financial motive for Mr. Moland in voting to retain the firm,' Gill said. In a separate case, Moland is accused of exaggerating his health issues to fraudulently obtain in-home care services for people with disabilities. A preliminary hearing is scheduled later this month. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
