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Yahoo
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
10 mistakes guests should never make at weddings, according to etiquette experts
Business Insider asked etiquette experts about the mistakes guests should never make at weddings. Guests shouldn't ignore the RSVP deadline or arrive late to the ceremony. Overindulging at the bar, bringing an uninvited guest, and taking food home are all major faux pas. A lot of time, effort, and money go into planning a wedding, so it's important for guests to be on their best behavior during the festivities. That's why Business Insider asked four etiquette experts about the mistakes guests should never make at a wedding. Here's what they said. Weddings, especially larger ones, require significant planning and coordination. That's why Nick Leighton — cohost of the etiquette-centric podcast "Were You Raised by Wolves?" — said it's important to abide by the RSVP deadline on a wedding invitation. "There are few things more rude than leaving a host hanging, so be sure to RSVP promptly," Leighton told BI. Although you may routinely show up late to other events, weddings are not a place for tardiness. In this environment, late arrivals can disrupt the flow of the ceremony or reception. "Arriving late to a wedding ceremony is a social faux pas," etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts said. "Guests should plan to arrive at least 15 minutes early." Etiquette expert Jamila Musayeva said ignoring the dress code for a wedding is inconsiderate and disrespectful. "When a guest shows up underdressed, it disturbs the aesthetic and can even make others uncomfortable. It's always better to be slightly overdressed than risk looking out of place," Musayeva told BI. Jo Hayes, an etiquette expert and founder of told BI it's never OK for guests to wear all-white, cream, or pale pastel outfits. "Do not wear a style that looks remotely bridal. You do not want to come even close to stealing the bride's spotlight," Hayes said. However, she said white elements in an outfit are OK if they're within reason. Nothing can ruin wedding photos like camera flashes and raised arms holding up phones. To mitigate this issue, many couples now request "unplugged" ceremonies, where smartphones and other electronic devices are kept out of sight. Musayeva told BI that ignoring the couple's wishes and using a phone are among the most disrespectful things a guest can do during a ceremony. Unconfirmed guests — including children — impact headcounts, meal planning, and table dynamics, and cause stress and frustration for the couple and wedding coordinators. "Bringing someone who wasn't explicitly invited places an unexpected financial and logistical burden on the couple," Musayeva said. Open bars are a popular choice for weddings, but Musayeva told BI it's important that guests don't overdo it. "Drinking excessively shows a lack of self-awareness and puts unnecessary strain on the hosts," Musayeva said. "A guest who becomes disruptive, loud, or sloppy can change the tone of the evening entirely. It shifts attention away from the couple and onto someone's behavior." Although giving the couple a personal and thoughtful gift might seem gracious, Grotts said wedding guests should avoid straying from the provided wedding registry, as it can create more work for the couple down the road. "A couple's registry is a curated list reflecting their needs and tastes," Grotts told BI. "Disregarding it can result in redundant or unwanted items, hence returns." Hayes told BI that claiming the spotlight with any big personal announcement or news is both self-centered and inconsiderate. "Don't steal the spotlight or make the day about yourself in any way. This includes no wedding proposals or baby news announcements. The day is about the couple, not you," Hayes said. Leighton said it's never tasteful for guests to bring to-go containers with them, no matter how casual the wedding is. "The hosts want you to have a nice time, but they probably don't want to cater all your meals for the week," he said. It's best to avoid banking on the idea of leftovers altogether — and always ask permission before taking anything home. Read the original article on Business Insider
Business Insider
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Business Insider
10 mistakes guests should never make at weddings, according to etiquette experts
A lot of time, effort, and money go into planning a wedding, so it's important for guests to be on their best behavior during the festivities. That's why Business Insider asked four etiquette experts about the mistakes guests should never make at a wedding. Here's what they said. Ignoring the deadline to RSVP Weddings, especially larger ones, require significant planning and coordination. That's why Nick Leighton — cohost of the etiquette-centric podcast " Were You Raised by Wolves?" — said it's important to abide by the RSVP deadline on a wedding invitation. "There are few things more rude than leaving a host hanging, so be sure to RSVP promptly," Leighton told BI. Arriving late to the ceremony Although you may routinely show up late to other events, weddings are not a place for tardiness. In this environment, late arrivals can disrupt the flow of the ceremony or reception. "Arriving late to a wedding ceremony is a social faux pas," etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts said. "Guests should plan to arrive at least 15 minutes early." Ignoring the dress code Etiquette expert Jamila Musayeva said ignoring the dress code for a wedding is inconsiderate and disrespectful. "When a guest shows up underdressed, it disturbs the aesthetic and can even make others uncomfortable. It's always better to be slightly overdressed than risk looking out of place," Musayeva told BI. Wearing white or light-colored styles Jo Hayes, an etiquette expert and founder of told BI it's never OK for guests to wear all-white, cream, or pale pastel outfits. "Do not wear a style that looks remotely bridal. You do not want to come even close to stealing the bride's spotlight," Hayes said. However, she said white elements in an outfit are OK if they're within reason. Taking photos during the ceremony without explicit permission to do so Nothing can ruin wedding photos like camera flashes and raised arms holding up phones. To mitigate this issue, many couples now request "unplugged" ceremonies, where smartphones and other electronic devices are kept out of sight. Musayeva told BI that ignoring the couple's wishes and using a phone are among the most disrespectful things a guest can do during a ceremony. Bringing an uninvited plus one Unconfirmed guests — including children — impact headcounts, meal planning, and table dynamics, and cause stress and frustration for the couple and wedding coordinators. "Bringing someone who wasn't explicitly invited places an unexpected financial and logistical burden on the couple," Musayeva said. Overindulging at the bar Open bars are a popular choice for weddings, but Musayeva told BI it's important that guests don't overdo it. "Drinking excessively shows a lack of self-awareness and puts unnecessary strain on the hosts," Musayeva said. "A guest who becomes disruptive, loud, or sloppy can change the tone of the evening entirely. It shifts attention away from the couple and onto someone's behavior." Straying from the wedding registry Although giving the couple a personal and thoughtful gift might seem gracious, Grotts said wedding guests should avoid straying from the provided wedding registry, as it can create more work for the couple down the road. "A couple's registry is a curated list reflecting their needs and tastes," Grotts told BI. "Disregarding it can result in redundant or unwanted items, hence returns." Making the day about you Hayes told BI that claiming the spotlight with any big personal announcement or news is both self-centered and inconsiderate. "Don't steal the spotlight or make the day about yourself in any way. This includes no wedding proposals or baby news announcements. The day is about the couple, not you," Hayes said. Assuming you can take food home with you Leighton said it's never tasteful for guests to bring to-go containers with them, no matter how casual the wedding is. "The hosts want you to have a nice time, but they probably don't want to cater all your meals for the week," he said. It's best to avoid banking on the idea of leftovers altogether — and always ask permission before taking anything home.
Time Magazine
29-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Time Magazine
The Worst Way to Reply to a Party Invite
There are two straightforward—and simple—ways to respond to social invitations: Tell the host you'll be there, or that you won't be. Yet people find all kinds of offensive ways to reply instead. The worst one of all is becoming increasingly common, especially by text, says Jamila Musayeva, an etiquette coach who posts videos about modern manners on YouTube. She's lost track of the number of times someone has responded to an invite by asking who else will be there—which is code for questioning whether it's actually going to be any fun. (It's even more insulting than asking what kind of food will be served.) 'It's usually like, 'I won't come unless there's someone there I want to see,'' she says. 'It's degrading the whole experience to just wanting to hang out with one person,' or a specific group of potential guests who are…not the person issuing the invite. No wonder hosts take this kind of response personally. Musayeva equates it to saying: 'You're not interesting; I don't want to be entertained by you. I'm more interested in who's coming.' If the guest list doesn't impress, no big deal—a better offer likely awaits. 'It's definitely something you should never, ever say,' she says. If you must find out who's going in advance, do some subtle research on the side: Maybe send a private message to a friend and ask if they're privy to any additional details about the party. Just make sure that detective work doesn't travel back to the host. When RSVPs go MIA Implying that there's more fun to be had elsewhere isn't the only way you can botch your response to a social invitation. Being super vague about your plans—'Maybe I'll stop by'—or not bothering to respond at all puts the host in a tough spot, and will likely get you kicked off future invite lists. 'When you RSVP 'no,' you're doing the host a favor,' says etiquette teacher Lisa Mirza Grotts. 'Clarity is kinder than a 'maybe.'' If you're truly not sure if you can make an event, she suggests wording your response like this: 'I'd love to come, but I know what it's like to be a host, and I know you need answers. I don't want to leave you hanging.' See how your friend responds, Grotts says: They might tell you they don't mind if you play it by ear, or agree that it's best to count you out this time so they can finalize the catering order. Either way, you'll be on the same page, and no one will be waiting around, unable to sort out plans. Another way to avoid the infuriating question-mark response is to specify exactly when you'll get back to the host, even if they didn't mention an RSVP date. If a neighbor asks your family to come over for a cookout, for example, you might respond: 'Hey, could I get back to you on Friday?' 'Now your host knows they can check in with you on Saturday if they haven't heard from you by Friday,' says etiquette expert Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute. 'You've talked about it, you've had a little exchange, you've acknowledged it. Acknowledgement is such a huge part of playing a good guest, even when you're just in the role of being invited and aren't even at the party yet.' The way you treat an invitation speaks to how much you value your relationships. As Post says, an invite to watch the game, grab a drink, or attend a dinner party is someone's way of asking if you want to spend time together. 'Even if your true, internal reaction is that no, you really wouldn't like to, it is so nice that someone out in the world wants to spend time with you,' she says. Post suggests putting yourself in the host's shoes and proceeding with what she considers the three principles of etiquette: consideration, respect, and honesty. 'It's important to recognize that you would want people to get back to you in a timely fashion, so get back to your host in a timely fashion,' she says. 'We should treat our invitations with care, because they're the start of what connects us. They're the beginning of the way we create community.'
