08-05-2025
How Can We Hear The 'Unheard' When Small Children Allege Abuse?
Young girl draws about being abused
Small Children's Voices
In 'The Unheard', a novel written by the husband and wife authors, Nicci Gerrard and Sean French in 2021, under the pseudonym Nicci French, without spoiling the novel, the novel chronicles the story of a single mother of a 3 year girl, Poppy, who suddenly amidst her usual colorful and bright drawings, sketches a tower with someone apparently falling in all black after she's been on a visit with her father and his new girlfriend. The child also begins using language she's never used before such 'kill her, did kill her,' and several profane phrases. The mother began to suspect that the child had seen something while in dad's care and custody and her hunt to discover the truth as to what the child witnessed and heard is the suspense created in the novel as the mother goes to the police and finds herself the object of derision. She is initially thought to be mentally unhinged and is threatened by attorneys of the father with custody litigation for sole custody if she did not stop her 'investigation.'
The story rang true to me as a family law attorney as to what happens in real life cases involving young child reporters and their parents.
Children's Language Skills
Young children whose language skills are rudimentary with tenses often confused are inexperienced reporters of what may have happened to them. They may point to their genitals and say things like, 'papa hurt' from which adults interpret sexual abuse. At age three children's language skills include following two-part requests ('pick up the truck and put it in the toy bin'), learn new words quickly, understanding the concept of two, understanding gender differences, knowing their names, starting to use plurals and using complete sentences of three to four words. They may disclose abuse directly or indirectly and may start sharing details of abuse before they are ready to put their thoughts and feelings in order. This is problematic for adults assessing credibility of young children because legal practitioners pay special attention to the level of children's emotionality when testifying. There is an expectation that when telling someone about a painful experience, the child should be crying.
With no physical evidence and the child as the only reporting witness, abuse cases are difficult to prove especially if the alleged abuser makes claims against the other parent of parental alienation or trying to gain a custodial advantage in a child custody dispute. The young child reporter who may have been abused, is the only witness who will be questioned by a child protective case worker and then at a Child Advocacy Center (CAC) and a forensic case worker with law enforcement personnel watching on a closed-circuit screen. These are strangers to him, or her and the child may be too frightened to tell them what they told the parent or mandated reporter (mandated reporters have a legal duty to report abuse to child protective authorities).
While false allegations of sexual abuse by children and adolescents are statistically uncommon (between 2 and 10%), child sexual abuse cases are notoriously difficult to prosecute. The obstacles for obtaining justice for victims are many. Only 1 in 5 reported cases went forward to prosecution. Put another way, 80% of children reporting sexual abuse are unheard because the cases rely heavily on the statement of the child. If child custody is a factor, the child's testimony is parsed under the light of a biased adult who either coached the child, or negatively influenced the child by asking leading questions, so as to distort the child's memory and reporting.
Children's Drawings
In 'The Unheard', the mother relies on the child, Poppy's, drawing, and believes that something Poppy witnessed was very bad. In reality, children's drawings can function as a window into how children perceive and represent their world and they can be tools for a therapist where kids can't use words to express themselves. Are they proof that something is wrong? No. They can be hints or clues that something might be wrong. They can also be a helpful tool when verbal communication with kids is difficult. Children's drawings by themselves aren't proof of traumatic experiences or mistreatment.
Cases
Over the course of my years in practice, I have been told, or defended parents against, allegations of abuse, both sexual and physical, by very small children.
In a case I investigated for an attorney for the child whose father had sexually abused him by fondling his genitals, the 8-year-old boy told me that he had a solution. The child showed me a tiny padlock used to lock zippers on luggage and told me that he could use this to lock himself in his sleeping bag and then his father couldn't touch him. He very much wanted to see his father. This was an abuse/neglect case.
In a case I defended the parent against allegations of sexual abuse, the 2 ½ year old boy allegedly drew pictures with a play therapist leading the therapist with the mother present during the interview to believe that the child had been sexually abused by the father. I watched hours of recorded video conversations between the father and the child where the child sat for over an hour with the father, reading stories, examining plants or animals or nature, completely comfortable. The child was interviewed at CAC twice and the forensic examiner found no sex abuse had occurred. This case involved child custody.
In an intake interview with the mother of a 2 ½ year old girl, the mother told me that the child was very bonded with the father (they lived together in an intact family) and told her that papa put chocolate on her vagina and it hurt. The mother appeared to be making a leap to sexual abuse of the child by the father. I asked if the child used the correct word for her genital area and the mother informed me that yes she knew the word. I counseled the mother about who were mandated reporters, discussed creating boundaries at home (both parents were naked in front of the child at home), creating a separate sleeping area for the child (they all slept together in one bed), and asked how the child reacted to the father after telling the mother about the incident. The mother reported that she was still all about 'papa, papa, papa'. I also suggested to the mother that the father not wash the child below the waist.
Recently, a client's child's school called his mother about an explicit drawing that their 8-year-old son made of a painful experience of the child with his father. Using stick figures, the child drew, numbering each year, an accounting of his experiences over the past several years including this one. In this case, the mother witnessed the event. It is an ongoing child custody case.
How Can Young Children be Heard?
Jumping to conclusions of sexual abuse over one report by a small child or one drawing is not evidentiary as to whether or not sexual abuse took place. Did the father in the example I gave actually put chocolate on his child's vagina? There needs to be other information that can inform what occurred to the child that may have caused them harm. It appeared something hurt her but was it a washcloth that was too rough or too close to her gentle skin?
Are drawings indicative of what a child might be feeling as opposed to what exactly happened? Or is the child drawing about their feelings rather than talking about them?
Parents should look for other signs of trouble or change in the child's life. Before a child is subjected to a Child Protective Services investigation and a CAC forensic interview, it might be a wiser parental decision to pay close attention to the child and see if there are any changes in behavior such as bed wetting when they had stopped. Has the school teacher reported any changes in the child's behavior at school? In the fictional Poppy's case, Poppy used language she had not used previously on more than one occasion causing her fictional mother to continue to be concerned that Poppy had witnessed something very bad.
One thing is certain-the parent should not question the child asking leading questions to try to get them to repeat the story or prompt them to do so while they hit the 'record' button on their phone all trying to build a case against the other parent.
One final thought-the issue is to stop the abuse from occurring if it is occurring. Is justice for the child served by seeking to criminally punish the alleged abuser forcing the child to testify against a parent who they may actually love?
