06-06-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
Never Mind the Possible Food Poisoning, the Proposal Had to Go On
When Dr. Kevin Wei-Han Chi and Brian Chiu matched on the Coffee Meets Bagel app in November 2015, both were still coming out. Dr. Chi kept his first relationship with a man a secret for four years, while Mr. Chiu had only been in short-term relationships with women.
In his medical residency, then, Dr. Chi was meeting as many men as he could manage between long hospital shifts. On a rare weekend off, he decided to make the one-hour drive to San Francisco from his home in Mountain View, Calif., for another first date he thought would go nowhere.
What began with soufflé pancakes at Griddle Fresh (now known as Pancake Boy) in the city's Noe Valley neighborhood turned into a 10-hour date that included taking in the views of the city from Twin Peaks, and sharing their coming out stories at the Sutro Baths ruins overlooking the Pacific Ocean at sunset. After a sushi dinner, they ended the evening at Mr. Chiu's place. While listening to Adele's newly released album, '25,' they shared their first kiss.
In addition to their love of puzzles, escape rooms, travel, camping and backpacking through the wilderness, both come from conservative Asian backgrounds. Mr. Chiu admired how much compassion Dr. Chi had for his family members who couldn't accept his sexuality right away.
'I realized I really value that type of insight and wisdom in a partner,' Mr. Chiu said. Feeling unusually comfortable for a first date, Mr. Chiu asked Dr. Chi how many children he wanted and how he would want to have them.
Such directness 'could seem like a red flag," Dr. Chi said, 'but Brian was just so authentic.'
Four days later, Mr. Chiu drove to Mountain View, and the two worked on a Thanksgiving diorama of an apple stand with turkeys.
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