05-05-2025
How to practise death cleaning? Remember that it's a process — and sell or donate as you go
Entertainment And Life
By Susan Schwartz
'It's a big house, and over time the closets and drawers had filled with things we never touched and, in many cases, had completely forgotten we owned,' the author Ann Patchett wrote in a 2021 piece for the New Yorker on her own version of death cleaning.
'I was starting to get rid of my possessions, at least the useless ones, because possessions stood between me and death. They didn't protect me from death, but they created a barrier in my understanding, like layers of bubble wrap, so that instead of thinking about what was coming and the beauty that was here now I was thinking about the piles of shiny trinkets I'd accumulated. I had begun the journey of digging out.'
Montrealer Silvija Ulmanis has exquisite taste and has 'always loved things and kind of acquired them over the years' — from pottery and old glass to objects picked up at home or during her travels: fabrics, antique aprons from Greece, a Murano glass vase she bought in Venice, hand-painted teaware purchased in Hong Kong. It's beautiful.
But there is a lot of it.
She is in her early 70s now and, if something happened to her, she wonders: 'Who would deal with this stuff? I don't think it's fair to leave it to my husband and two daughters.' And so, like Patchett, Ulmanis has embarked on her own journey of digging out.
She has been giving away some objects and selling others: She sold books to a used-book dealer and all but a dozen or so of the 50 teacups that had belonged to her late mother: About 20 were sold to the Teacup Attic in Ottawa, the others on her own. She had a garage sale. And twice last year she rented a table in Pointe-Claire Plaza, where a twice-annual vintage and antiques sale is held. She also rented a table at Plates, Pearls & Pretty Things, a church fundraiser held April 26 in the hall of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Hawkesbury.
Ulmanis has done meticulous research about the provenance and value of items, from vases by Canadian potter and artist Harlan House she purchased in the 1970s to quality pieces by Montreal costume jeweler Gustave Sherman her mother used to collect: His necklaces, brooches and other items, hugely popular in the 1950s and 1960s, are still coveted by collectors.
She has also started to photograph objects. 'I thought I would write a little story about something and leave that: Instead of the stuff, I will leave pictures,' she said.
As people consider downsizing because they're moving or simply want to own less stuff, they do it different ways. There are Facebook groups featuring decluttering and organizing tips and groups where items can be disposed of. A woman posting on a West Island Community Facebook page said that, during COVID, she got rid of one item a day for a year. Another started in the bedroom and went room by room, donating to NOVA and giving things away through sites like Another Person's Treasures — West Island or selling items on VarageSale and Facebook marketplace.
Margareta Magnusson, author of The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning (Scribner, 2018), advises classifying items into categories — books, clothes, furniture, linens — and starting with the easiest one for you to handle. She has death cleaned for several people and always started with clothes.
Many of us have documents, letters and papers we haven't looked at in ages. Magnusson asks: 'Why should someone else have to?' Buy a paper shredder, she advises, and destroy anything that risks upsetting those left behind. Get rid of photos of people you no longer like or those in which you look terrible, re-read your favourite books or some you'd forgotten about and then give the rest to a charity, library, school or a young reader.
Go in expecting the journey of digging out to take a year or longer, say those who have done it: It's a process. Sell or donate as you go, one de-clutterer advised. Another suggested setting aside items that have not been used in a year and considering getting rid of them. Tell yourself that what you are are giving away will be enjoyed by others.
Purging alone isn't enough, said one Montrealer who moved from a big house to a much smaller condo. 'You must also learn from your castaways and change your future buying habits,' she said. 'Getting rid of possessions doesn't work unless you recognize why you acquired them in the first place.'
Montrealer Judith Litvack believes in being 'pared down to the absolute minimum of what you need to live.' She owns a single set of dishes, one spatula, one serving spoon. Her clothes occupy one-quarter of a cupboard. 'I wear something until it is tattered and then I get rid of it and replace it,' she said. 'I read books and give them away.' Same for the collage and paintings she makes.
'I am not attached to material possessions. It is about the relationships; it's about the memories, the feelings.'
