17-04-2025
These young men were sucked into the manosphere. Here's how they found a way out.
These young men were sucked into the manosphere. Here's how they found a way out.
As a college student, Michael McKenzie had an average social life — he studied with friends from his accounting classes, played drinking games at parties and watched 'Cheers' as a comfort show with his roommates on Sunday evenings.
The one thing that eluded him for years, though, was a girlfriend.
The now 27-year-old tried Tinder and Bumble, but his swiping rarely resulted in dates. When he mustered up the confidence to approach girls at parties, they politely declined.
So when he came upon the videos of YouTuber Kevin Samuels, the creator's blunt discussion about relationships — that 'a high value man starts with money" and that 'the place of a man in society has been devalued' — felt like a 'glimmer of hope.'
Every time he watched one of Samuels' videos, YouTube would recommend three or four more from similar creators. The theories repeated in Samuels' circle — like "the wall" theory that women older than 35 and unmarried are "leftovers' who decrease in value, or the idea that 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men — seemed to explain his bad luck.
In 2022, Samuels died from hypertension.
'I was in this nihilistic mindset at the time, nothing matters, life sucks, you kind of suffer, and then you die,' McKenzie says. 'This 80/20 dogma was kind of like a confirmation bias of 'the world's not fair, and so you should kind of just give up.''
McKenzie counts himself among a growing number of young men who were sucked into "the manosphere," a digital collection of websites, videos and social media that promote male supremacy and advocate for traditional gender roles.
He found his way out. But for some young men, it's not that simple.
Creators like Andrew Tate — a self-proclaimed "misogynist" charged with rape and human trafficking — and streamer Sneako, who once said 'a woman's worth is what she looks like and a man's worth is your masculinity, is your respect," provide a pipeline for men seeking advice about romantic rejection, physical self-esteem and economic insecurity to fall into radicalism and misogyny.
Some of those communities, like Pick up Artists, whose goals are to 'pick up' women and seduce them into sex, involve interaction with women, while incels, who consider themselves unable to find romantic or sexual intimacy, self-isolate from women and are aggressive toward their peers who are sexually active. Others who influence the manosphere range from fitness content creators people follow for bodybuilding advice that share misogynistic comments to influencers who focus on traditional gender roles.
'I felt like I wasn't really a man unless I was sexually successful'
When McKenzie started dating and having sex, he thought it would boost his self esteem. Instead, he felt "unsure of himself."
'At the time, I didn't really see them [women] as people. I saw them as achievements to check off on a box that made me feel like a masculine dude, because I felt like I wasn't really a man unless I was sexually successful,' Mckenzie says.
Jonathan France was similarly frustrated with dating when he found YouTuber Wheat Waffles, who posts about 'Looksmaxxing,' the process of maximizing one's physical appearance through hygiene, fitness and style.
France, who is now 28, had spent $500 on premium subscriptions on dating apps like Hinge and Tinder, but often went weeks or months without getting a single match.
Joining communities on Reddit like r/IncelsWithoutHate, which was later banned, and the X account IncelsCo, whose pinned post reads that 'modern women are the problem in dating,' solidified his belief that the only way to be in a relationship was to be attractive.
'That combination warmed my mentality to think, 'OK, I'm just an unattractive guy. Women don't like me because I'm unattractive, so then I need to dislike them because I'm unattractive,' France says.
McKenzie and France never felt drawn to violence. But extreme fringes of the manosphere have orchestrated or praised violent attacks against women, a trend Netflix's recent crime drama 'Adolescence' highlighted by following the story of a 13-year-old boy who was radicalized by misogynistic culture online.
Those men in the manosphere who are most isolated from women and other men, like incels — a term for men who are involuntarily celibate — are more likely to take on extreme views or engage in violence, according to University of Wisconsin-Madison public affairs professor Mariel Barnes, whose research focuses on backlash to gender equality and the manosphere.
The man behind the 2014 Isla Vista killings, for instance, was a self-proclaimed incel who before the shooting published a manifesto and YouTube video announcing his "Day of Retribution" as a means of punishing women for their perceived lack of interest.
In March, it was found that a British man convicted of murdering his ex-girlfriend and two of her family members had searched for ex-kickboxer Andrew Tate's podcasts in the 24 hours before the attack.
'If you are constantly consuming this content and you are isolated and women are responsible for the bad things that are happening to you, it's very dehumanizing, right?' says Barnes. 'You don't see women as humans anymore, or as peers or as friends, and that dehumanization gives you permission to treat them as less than human.'
More: Netflix's 'Adolescence,' toxic masculinity and what these emoji really mean
How the manosphere sucks young men in
France says he never intended for watching funny meme videos to turn into a media diet of anti-feminist content. But he was frustrated and angry, and as the YouTube algorithm kept pushing more videos, content he once would've considered extreme seemed more palatable.
'Wheat Waffles and Andrew Tate, I think all of those guys take advantage of that natural experience of not understanding women and warp it into hating women and seeing women as objects,' France says.
The combination of technology and the natural insecurities that arise during teenage years creates a 'perfect storm' for innocuous sports and health spaces to tune young men into radical content, according to Gary Barker, the president of Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice, an organization that advocates for healthy manhood.
'They're going there with kind of innocent intentions, but without somebody else supporting them, that innocent intention can become a follower who drops their critical thinking,' Barker says.
Jesse Young, a 30-year-old who regularly engages with users looking for advice on r/incelexit, says he managed to avoid the pitfalls of the manosphere when he made female friends in college, which countered the beliefs he developed during a high school experience with minimal social interaction.
He doesn't want to think about where he would've ended up without those friendships, and believes it would be harder to avoid the online manosphere now.
'It was just isolated people back then, whereas now it's like a whole industry,' Young says.
How misogyny went mainstream
Barnes says the manosphere started to coalesce online around 2008 and grew with the rise of blogging websites like Paul Elam's 'A Voice for Men' or Daryush Valizadeh's 'Return of Kings' site, which featured headlines like 'When Her No Means Yes' and 'The Intellectual Inferiority of Women.'
As short-form content platforms like TikTok, YouTube shorts and Instagram reels began offering monetization options for creators, the manosphere grew, including on streaming platforms like Twitch and chat boards like 4chan.
'The current version of the manosphere has become much more mainstream than it used to be,' says Barnes. "You don't need to hide who you are anymore if you're a raging misogynist.'
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How to leave the manosphere behind
When France's brother died by suicide in the fall of 2019, he made a promise to himself to work on his mental health. He started therapy and anxiety medication, invested more time volunteering at his church and used hobbies like video games and Legos as outlets.
'I've had a lot more success after leaving the incel community behind and just realizing that your life isn't really all that hopeless,' France says. 'You realize, 'I believed this for so long, how many years of my life did I lose?''
Barker says spending time offline is an important part of deradicalization, but it's not a case of 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater' — there are meaningful connections that young men find in online support forums.
Both France and Mckenzie joined online spaces to connect with others who have found their way out, such as Reddit forums r/ExRedPill and r/IncelExit.
It's important for young men to develop a filter when scrolling online, and think critically about the motives behind content creators who monetize from their advice, according to Barker.
'If you're feeling slightly ashamed of what you're following online, that's probably a good gut check that something there isn't working,' Barker says.
McKenzie used weightlifting as a physical outlet, volunteered at his local food bank and served with AmeriCorps, a service program that gives people ages 18 to 26 volunteer opportunities around the country.
He says putting his time and energy into helping others and learning valuable skills, like how to build houses, helped build confidence in his identity beyond his looks.
'I wish I would have known there's other ways to be a great man, other than checking off the boxes of being rich, wealthy, attractive and having women's favor,' McKenzie says.
Five years after his brother's death, France says his mindset shift is just now paying off. Those leaving the manosphere shouldn't expect the transformation to be immediate, he says.
'A lot of guys just aren't willing to put that much time and effort in to get their mindset right, because they just want instant results,' France says. 'It doesn't work like that. Mental health is always like a journey, it never really ends.'
Rachel Hale's role covering youth mental health at USA TODAY is funded by a grant from Pivotal Ventures. Pivotal Ventures does not provide editorial input. Reach her at rhale@ and @rachelleighhale on X.
