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'No trees to pee behind' The most baffling Tripadvisor reviews of Wales' best attractions
'No trees to pee behind' The most baffling Tripadvisor reviews of Wales' best attractions
Turns out, not everyone is as enchanted by Wales as we are.....
One unimpressed TripAdvisor reviewer moaned that Yr Wyddfa didn't come equipped with 'handrails'
(Image: Tony Harnett )
Wales may have jaw-dropping mountains, golden sandy beaches and a ludicrous amount of castles, but apparently, not everyone is as enamoured with Cymru as we are.
While some visitors are left speechless by the sunrise at Yr Wyddfa, or impressed with our dreamy coastlines and top attractions, others find the experience lacking in very specific ways.
One unimpressed TripAdvisor reviewer moaned that Yr Wyddfa didn't come equipped with 'handrails,' as if the highest peak in Wales were a leisure centre stairwell.
Over in Burry Port, a visitor declared the lighthouse was 'not worth the trouble to come and view', presumably having hoped for something more Vegas and less Victorian.
And at a perfectly innocent Welsh café, a disgruntled diner wrote: 'I've tasted better food in prison.'
Yes, Wales might be heaven for hikers and a gift to photographers, but to the online reviewing masses... we're gonna have to do better. Here are some of the funniest and most unhinged reviews of Wales we've spotted on TripAdvisor.
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"There are no trees or bushes to pee behind" - Yr Wyddfa
Describing it as "an athlete-only" walk, one unenthusiastic reviewer struggled to get to the summit and said: "I wished there were handrails."
(Image: Getty Images )
A trip to the summit of Wales' highest mountain is on the bucket list for many across the world. Its epic panorama of Eryri National Park has garnered mostly positive reviews on TripAdvisor; however, not everyone was impressed.
Describing it as "an athlete-only" walk, one unenthusiastic reviewer struggled to get to the summit and said: "I wished there were handrails."
One reviewer was clearly traumatised by their ascent to the summit: "You will fear for your life many many times." Yikes.
Another annoyed hiker rated the mountain as poor because it wasn't quite what they expected, and there was nowhere to hide behind if nature calls.
They wrote: "Don't expect what they tell you in the brochures and take your own life into your own hands; it's not for the faint-hearted. Also, don't expect to be able to use the loo, there are no trees, bushes, or rocks to hide behind."
Perhaps the Welsh Government could consider installing an escalator, a few privacy screens, and a Pret halfway up, just to keep the TripAdvisor crowd happy.
"I have better plants in my own greenhouse.' - National Botanic Garden of Wales
Another reviewer simply titled their review the 'Poor Man's Eden Project.'
(Image: Media Wales )
For many TripAdvisor reviewers, a trip to Wales' National Botanical Gardens in Llanarthney has been described as colourful, informative, and a tranquil setting to reconnect with nature.
But for one reviewer, a trip to her back garden is far more exciting, as they said: 'The main dome was very boring and nothing special in there at all. I have better plants in my own greenhouse.'
Clearly, the National Botanic gardeners should visit this reviewer's greenhouse and take notes, if they can handle that level of horticultural excellence, of course.
Another reviewer simply titled their review the 'Poor Man's Eden Project.' They were the most unimpressed with the café offerings, though, writing: "I've tasted better food in prison."
"Very steep for no reason" - Moel Famau
'Very steep for no reason,'
(Image: Ian Cooper/North Wales Live )
'Very steep for no reason,' complained one reviewer of Moel Famau, seemingly shocked to discover that mountains aren't flat. 'Maybe they can level it off at some point,' they helpfully added.
No doubt the Welsh Government will prioritise that just as soon as they've finished making Yr Wyddfa less "windy".
"Too much coastline for my liking" - Millennium Coastal Path
"Too much coastline for my liking"
(Image: Llanelli Star )
Apparently, the 13 miles of scenic coastlines found at the Millennium Coastal Path were a "bit too much coastline" for one nervous TripAdvisor reviewer who added: "Too much coastline for my liking, afraid of water so found I couldn't appreciate the natural beauty of the place."
Another review said that it was comprised of "just a few sand dunes, and there did not seem to be anything there."
Too much coastline, water and sand dunes? You could swear these people have never clapped eyes on a beach before. Back to the city with you!
"Guarded by cows" - Paxton Tower
"Guarded by cows"
(Image: ©National Trust Images )
Built in honour of Lord Nelson, Paxton Tower in Llanarthney is a Grade II listed building overlooking much of the Tywi Valley.
However, one TripAdvisor reviewer found that the 300-year-old neo-Gothic tower had one significant and unexpected drawback... cows.
The nervous visitor found this out the hard way and entitled their review: "Guarded by cows."
They went on to say: "To get to the tower, you have to walk through a field of cows. I've never liked walking through a field of one standing right next to the swing gate.
"So that was it, I took a photo of the tower from across the field." We're so sorry to disappoint our snap-happy tourists with inconvenient livestock. We'll do better.
"Is that it?" - Buryport Lighthouse
"Is that it?"
(Image: Mirrorpix )
Built in the mid-1800s when Burry Port was one of the main coal-exporting ports in the area, the lighthouse has remained a focal point for the town for the past 200 years.
But it didn't impress one visitor who rated it with two stars on TripAdvisor and said: "Theres a plaque on the wall of this lighthouse, circa 1996, which gives information about what they did 23 years ago. I haven't ever seen a lighthouse this small or this insignificant, not worth the trouble to come and view."
Harsh? Maybe. But if you were expecting a towering beacon visible from space, this is not the lighthouse for you, friend.
"Left with a very sad toddler" - Zip World Penrhyn Quarry
"Left with a very sad toddler"
(Image: Zip World )
The world's fastest zip line was not impressive enough for one disappointed child as a reviewer read that they had left the top attraction with a "very sad toddler".
Presumably that was after being informed that, no, you can't strap a three-year-old to a 100mph zip line. Very "I would like to speak to the manager vibes" going on here.
"You c an see it all from the car" - Aberystwyth Castle
"You can see it all from the car"
(Image: Bristol Post )
We're not sure what people expect from a 13th-century ruin, but one reviewer was less than impressed with the Grade I listed Edwardian fortress, proclaiming, "There's nothing there. In fact, Aberystwyth was a depressing dump."
Another seemed surprised that "the walls are all blimming broken!" Shocking for an ancient castle, perhaps we could get Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen to come and take a look at this obvious fixer-upper.
"Seen one duck seen them all" - Llanelli Wetland Centre
"Seen one duck seen them all"
(Image: Wales Online )
A school trip to Penclawydd was a rite of passage for many who've grown up in the area, and the wetland centre boasts around 450 acres of land, but it still wasn't enough to impress one visitor who has grown tired of repetitive wildfowl.
"Seen one duck seen them all - I can't believe they have the nerve to charge £8.70 per adult to look at ducks." Heaps of scenic wetlands, conservation work, and rare bird species and yet not a single tap-dancing mallard to justify the cost. Honestly, what were they expecting at a wetland centre? Flamingos in tophats? A drive-through safari?
Another TripAdvisor user was also enraged by the bird offering: "We saw only one bird which was a very friendly, impressive swan. We should have gone to Folly Farm."
Yes, there are many friendly, impressive swans at Folly Farm. Definitely go and befriend them; swans typically love that.
"Pure nonsense" - Cardiff Castle
"Pure nonsense"
(Image: Matthew Horwood )
It seems the crowning glory in the Welsh Castle doesn't always live up to the public's exacting standards. "Pure nonsense", moaned one reviewer, claiming that the nearby McDonald's was the highlight. Ouch.
Another was most unimpressed with scaling the perimeter, grumbling, "All you get at the top is a view." Yes, nothing like a castle grounds vista to ruin a perfectly good day out. I hope they were issued a refund.
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